Monkey's Dad's definitions

Decimated

Reduced by 1/10th (one-tenth), not, as commonly misused, totally wiped out, destroyed, annihilated.

The rodent population in New York City was decimated, down from ten million to only nine million.

by Monkey's Dad November 9, 2019

Blogjam

Intellectual immobilization from following too many influencers with too much to say.

He awoke to another early-morning blogjam, so much verbiage, so little time.

by Monkey's Dad November 25, 2019

WWSAB?

Were We Separated At Birth? Asked of another person with whom one feels exceptional alignment.

I understand what you are feeling, and could not agree more. WWSAB?

by Monkey's Dad November 26, 2019

Girlie Bird

A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman

"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.

by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019

Permababy

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

Fomosexuality

A state of arousal, desire and dread, brought on by the certainty that everyone else is enjoying more exciting, more frequent and more imaginative sex than you are.

One look from the Air France flight attendant and Albert's fomosexuality zoomed into high gear, such was the look in her eyes, the slightly disordered hair, her swollen lips, and the hushed thickness of her voice - he knew - knew! - that she had enjoyed a wildly sleepless night, had rolled out of bed just in time to make her flight, that the two men and one woman who had shared her bed were all sleeping in a state of satiation as thick and fragrant as the Cappuccino she was extending to his trembling hand as he muttered his barely-coherent 'Merci Giselle, ah, merci'.

by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2019