near beer

Noun: London police slang for a crummy dive in which unwitting male tourists are promised a good time with a hot babe. They must order a drink from these unlicenced premises but get charged hundreds of pounds for a soft drink. Victims are often frog-marched to cash machines by heavies. Needless to say, the babe doesn't provide any action, just sits there.
Drink your tea, were going to bust a near beer in Brewer Street.
OK, Shall I grab a Transit van and 2 Serbo-Croat translators?

The Kinks classic 'Lola' is set in a near-beer.
I Met her in a club down in old Soho
Where they drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola...
...Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Lola.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
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JMT

Noun: Jamaican Mean Time. A timescale that shifts everything back by up to two and a half hours.
A true story follows.
White, British people looking at their invitations: "I've been here over an hour. Are you sure we've got the right church?"
Pastor, of Caribbean origin: "What you folks doin' here? Bride ain't even be in her dress yet."
White, British people looking at their invitations: "But it says two o'clock."
Pastor, of Caribbean origin: "Chill it my friends. We run tings on JMT. Soon come, soon come."
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 19, 2005
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four wheeled wives

Noun, plural: Women who are only ever seen in their chelsea tractors.
Works best when pronounced in the 'Jonathon Woss' estuarine english style so it sounds like an Essex person trying to say 'four-wheel-drives'.
So many four wheeled wives that I couldn't get my ambulance into the playground and the kid died.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 11, 2005
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Shed

Noun, singular or collective: A chain (or single branch of a chain) of large DIY warehouse shops occupying ugly, aircraft-hangar-like buildings - sheds. Wickes, Homebase, B&Q are sheds.
That little ironmongers on the corner didn't have one.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 13, 2005
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Prima donald

Noun: A male exhibiting the behaviour of a prima donna.
Terence is having a tantrum over the Perrier not being room temperature.
Typical prima donald.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
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The costumes were great!

An insulting comment on a theatrical production, disguised as a compliment.
"Dwaaahhling!!! So glad you made it! What did you think of the show?"
"Oh uh...wow! The costumes were great! Where did you hire them?"
Subtext: the acting was wooden; no one knew their lines; I kept looking at my watch. It was a sack of pig shit.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
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cor-blimey

Interjection: "May God blind me!" was once a serious oath, not sworn in anything but earnest. It's shortening was partly to avoid offence and partly for brevity. See also gawd blimey.
Part of a song by Lonnie Donegan:
'Oh, my old man's a dustman,
He wears a dustman's hat,
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat...'
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 12, 2005
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