McCririck's unlucky Laundress's definitions
Proper noun: Hampstead. An area of North West London covered by postcode area NW3. Hampstead is populated largely by moneyed liberals, champagne socialists and aged ex-hippies which results in taste and style choices that are annoyingly twee. NW3 + twee = NW Twee.
Pronounced 'enn double you twee'.
Pronounced 'enn double you twee'.
"Tarquin and I are torn between renaming him 'Life' and 'Cactus'. It needs to be something that expresses his masculinity yet - bugger! He's puked his yak cheese and aniseed brûlé all over my pashmina shawl."
"Bloody hell Saskya, you're so NW Twee!"
"Bloody hell Saskya, you're so NW Twee!"
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the NW Twee mug.Proper noun: Pretentious form of Colliers Wood, a naff suburb of south west London. Pronounced with a perfect French accent (bwa de coll-yay) and used in a mocking way about people who live there and overrate the place. See also Croùch End, Battercia, Pengé.
"You're from Wimbledon? My English friend lives in Bois de Colliers! Maybe you know her."
"Actually, I never mix with fatuous, social-climbing champagne socialists.
"Actually, I never mix with fatuous, social-climbing champagne socialists.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Bois de Colliers mug.Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.
Norfolk is a very windy county but that is not surprising -it is flatter than a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Flatter than a witch's tit mug.Noun, singular or collective: A chain (or single branch of a chain) of large DIY warehouse shops occupying ugly, aircraft-hangar-like buildings - sheds. Wickes, Homebase, B&Q are sheds.
That little ironmongers on the corner didn't have one.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Shed mug.Noun: Term of abuse for someone who feigns being Irish when convenient. E.g. An entirely British person who in 1994, on realising that England had not made it to the soccer World Cup, had no one to cheer for and found green blood in their veins for as long as Republic of Ireland were still in with a chance.
What happened to your England shirt, you plastic paddy?
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the plastic paddy mug.by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the blige mug.Noun, adjective. Any item of reproduction furniture or tourist souvenir which is made in the STYLE of the designer Charles Rennie MacKintosh but is just a cheap rip-off of the great man's work. Edinburgh gift shops are full of this rubbish, always cheaply made and ill-proportioned.
Helpfully contains the words 'mock' (mimic) and 'tosh' (nonsense).
Helpfully contains the words 'mock' (mimic) and 'tosh' (nonsense).
'I love those dining chairs with the grid of squares in the very high back.'
'Don't go there, dear. They're mockintosh. Made in Luton from stacking palettes.'
'Don't go there, dear. They're mockintosh. Made in Luton from stacking palettes.'
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Mockintosh mug.