Mark H's definitions

forrest gump

British sort of rhyming slang term used in place of "dump" when someone says "I gotta go take a dump."

I'll be back later mate. I've got to go take a Forrest Gump.

by Mark H June 25, 2004

lagasse alarm

It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.

The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.

"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"

by Mark H July 11, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

riding the magic bus

To be completely under the effects of any strong hallucinogenic drug, such as LSD(i.e. acid) or mushrooms. When you are riding the magic bus, you are so tripping out, that you are able to hallucinate beautiful women in place of what in reality, are women who are tore up or broke down.

When Nick D was relaxing on his bed during an acid trip, he suddenly found himself actually getting laid by a very hot voluptuous bitch who just busted into his room. But unfortuantely, Nick D was so riding the magic bus, as he did not realize he was actually bumping uglies with an ugly, wrecked, hoodrat hoochie mama cheese hog skank!





Mark H. Contributing to the drug abuser's slang vocabulary since February 2004.

by Mark H October 19, 2004

Strapping Young Lad

An awesome Canadian heavy metal band led by vocalist and head musician Devin Townsend, which consists of very heavy guitar riffage, intense drumming, and spectacularly angry lyrics shouted by Devin himself. Their album "City" which was released in 1997, is their most famous work and really something to listen to whenever you're pissed off and want to rebel against society's moral boundaries.

Forget Korn and Slipknot. All you "nu-metal" kids should listen to SYL's "City" album to know how REAL pissed-off metal should sound like!

by Mark H June 15, 2004

astrodome

A penis that's wider than it is long; a chode.

Because a chode is kinda shaped like the Houston Astrodome or any similar-looking stadium.

Even though I can't fit it into her ass or pussy, my girl really loves to suck on my Astrodome.

by Mark H September 17, 2004