Mai Ainsel's definitions

go off, I guess

Sort of like "you do you," but with a strong implication that you're talking out of your ass. Basically "you're an idiot and what you're saying is stupid, if you want to keep going I guess I won't stop you."

Bob: "The world is run by lizard people."

Sue: "There's no such thing as lizard people, but go off, I guess."

by Mai Ainsel July 1, 2020

favor sharking

Doing an unasked-for favor for someone, and then using it to try and guilt them into doing something for you.

Sam: "So Bob shows up at my house randomly with some brown bananas and is like 'hey, you can use these to make banana bread,' and I'm like 'uh, ok, I don't really bake but thanks,' and then he invites himself in for an hour and asks to borrow $300."

Joe: "That's some prime favor sharking right there. But my mother in law is worse. She keeps buying us weird vases and knick-knacks we don't need and then calls us ungrateful if we don't spend hours on the phone with her saying thank you and talking about where we'll put them in the house. We keep asking her to stop but she won't.

by Mai Ainsel June 17, 2020

Hajj Flu

The cough/cold/flu everyone gets after going to Hajj, because you're stuffed up close with people from every corner of the world, and one of them is gonna have whatever flu virus it is that you aren't immune to

"I just got back from Hajj and I'm in bed with Hajj flu."

by Mai Ainsel February 8, 2020

Whomst

Hard to explain. Basically means "who/whom" but with an implied "like I give a fuck" at the end.

Bob: "We better get out of here before the teacher catches us."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"

Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."

by Mai Ainsel December 17, 2020

Friendzone Predator

Someone who pretends to be your friend in the hopes that they can eventually manipulate your friendly attachment to them into a romantic relationship

"Bob keeps pretending to be friends with girls, then passive-aggressively trying to guilt them into dating him because he's such a Nice Guy. He's a real friendzone predator."

by Mai Ainsel June 28, 2020

Uncle Dad

A father who takes being the 'fun dad' so far that the role he plays in his children's life is more like an uncle. Do the kids need a trip to the dentist? Do they have homework? What are they having for dinner? He hasn't a clue - but he will occasionally take them out to a ball game. Often a non-custodial parent.

Oh hey, Uncle Dad sent me a birthday email and a $20 gift card to Baskin Robbins. I'm lactose intolerant and it's actually my sister's birthday, but... it's the thought that counts, I guess.

by Mai Ainsel March 7, 2019

Monkey Branching

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."

by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022