The alter ego responsible for anything bad you were caught doing. Originally a meme based on a Tumblr user that claimed "Eminem isn't violent, Slim Shady is," and the response "im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante," it is now used for any time someone tries a "that isn't really who I am" excuse.
Person: "I'm sorry about that videoed incident of me screaming racial slurs at minorities! I just want you to know, that does not represent the sort of person I am."
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
by Mai Ainsel November 06, 2019
Get the Countess Boochie Flagrantemug. Bob: "We better get out of here before the teacher catches us."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"
Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"
Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."
by Mai Ainsel December 17, 2020
Get the Whomstmug. A variation of malicious compliance where you respond (or offer to respond) with way more than what was asked of you, in order to try and pressure the asker to back off.
Sue: "So I told my husband I wasn't ok with him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house when he visited her town," and he was like, 'fine, I'll never hang out alone with any female friend - ever - if that's what it takes for you to trust me'!"
Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"
Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."
Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."
Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"
Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"
Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."
Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."
Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"
Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
by Mai Ainsel July 09, 2020
Get the Malicious Over-Compliancemug. Sort of like "you do you," but with a strong implication that you're talking out of your ass. Basically "you're an idiot and what you're saying is stupid, if you want to keep going I guess I won't stop you."
Bob: "The world is run by lizard people."
Sue: "There's no such thing as lizard people, but go off, I guess."
Sue: "There's no such thing as lizard people, but go off, I guess."
by Mai Ainsel July 01, 2020
Get the go off, I guessmug. A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.
Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021
Get the Jesus Cheatermug. Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"
Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."
OR
Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."
Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."
OR
Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."
Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
Get the Monkey Branchingmug. A father who takes being the 'fun dad' so far that the role he plays in his children's life is more like an uncle. Do the kids need a trip to the dentist? Do they have homework? What are they having for dinner? He hasn't a clue - but he will occasionally take them out to a ball game. Often a non-custodial parent.
Oh hey, Uncle Dad sent me a birthday email and a $20 gift card to Baskin Robbins. I'm lactose intolerant and it's actually my sister's birthday, but... it's the thought that counts, I guess.
by Mai Ainsel March 07, 2019
Get the Uncle Dadmug.