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Lord Grimcock's definitions

baby boomer

This fucking baby boomer fought no wars, underfunded the welfare state, failed to have any kids, bought the White Album and was a generally self-righteous hippy cunt while Rome burned. Now he wants MY taxes to pay his pension and medical costs for 40 years of mounting senility? Fuck that.
by Lord Grimcock January 14, 2008
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slotbadger

A paedophile, a nonce, a kiddy-fiddler. Lifted from Chris Morris' Brass Eye special.
Between you an' me and these four walls, Greville Janner is an unreclaimed slotbadger.
by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007
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gleet

British. Ball glaze, pre-cum. The few clear drops of fluid that struggle past the Jap's eye during sexual stimulus, prefiguring the blowing of the gentleman's stack. Nature's none-too-efficient lubricant.
Despite a generous yield of gleet I ended up with terrible friction burns. That's the last time I fuck a book of carpet samples.
by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007
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fuppie

Scottish. Affectionately descriptive of a lady's sexual furniture.
Scot: Fock me, hinnie, yeir fuppie's leik a moose's ear.

RP: Good lord, my dear. What an exceptionally well-appointed vulva you do have.
by Lord Grimcock August 24, 2007
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ball glaze

British. Pre-ejaculate; gleet.
Pressed against that schoolgirl's hip on the axle seat of the 57, I'm ashamed to say I involuntarily released a few drops of ball glaze as we passed over that unmade road, Father.
by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007
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spenk

Wearside. Descriptive of a gimp; one who is something of a gonk.

Not a term I ever heard before I started working in Sunderland, but I was called it there on a daily basis.
Hawaire man Charlie y'fuckin spenk.
by Lord Grimcock August 25, 2007
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Catterick condom

The one failsafe method of birth control, much favoured between military types in the eponymous Yorkshire garrison town. See also: Colchester condom.
Now you will be wearing a Catterick condom when I meet you behind the barrack block tonight, won't you lieutenant?
by Lord Grimcock January 5, 2008
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