Lord Grimcock's definitions

ecky thump

What Bill Oddie says when a normal person would say 'fuck me rigid' or words to that effect.

Kate Humble: I'm going public about our relationship, Bill. By tomorrow morning the world will know about your propensity for freeform nambling and Belgian biscuit, you sick bastard.

Bill Oddie: Oh, ecky thump.

by Lord Grimcock November 15, 2009

Celine Dion

A quasi-sex act that combines the worst aspects of the Cleveland steamer, Darjeeling standpipe, Hawaiian muscle fuck, Trimdon Piledriver and Pasadena mudslide, with or without the use of goosefat, performed in groups of six to eight to the sound of contemporary rock.

Shields is going to the fucking dogs. Only last week behind Majestic Bingo I happened on a group of youths engaged in some sort of half-arsed Celine Dion.

by Lord Grimcock October 30, 2007

rainbow cocktail

With a loving partner, after a long night of fornication, to husband the combined essence of your ejaculate, gleet and the lady's fannybatter and, when available, menstrual runoff; to mix it with the contents of the liquor cabinet, fetch two straws and share a tall glass of the results.

The night we shared our first rainbow cocktail was the night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Ah wait, I tell a lie - we done it once before the night you was conceived.

by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

Dronfield ironing board

A sex technique involving two men, three women and an indeterminite number of geese. The protagonist repeatedly rams his fists up the anus and urethra of one of the female participants, while the others prance around them in jester's garb, making witty repartee, clicking their fingers, occasionally coughing. As the female begins to rupture, the second male begins inserting live geese up the lead's anus (a feat requiring some dexterity and strength) while quoting from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Once the death of both leads has been confirmed, those remain continue as per a regular Celine Dion.

Can be done with ducks instead of geese in which case it is known as a Clitheroe cheesegrater.

So I looked over the fence and she was only doing the Dronfield ironing board, the filthy bitch.

by Lord Grimcock October 9, 2008

pie-curious

A binge eater. Otherwise normal, one who, at times, feels himself powerfully drawn towards the non-salad end of the buffet table.

I became pie-curious after an enjoyable but ultimately damaging experience in my second year at college.

by Lord Grimcock January 19, 2008

baby boomer

The generation that destroyed the West.

This fucking baby boomer fought no wars, underfunded the welfare state, failed to have any kids, bought the White Album and was a generally self-righteous hippy cunt while Rome burned. Now he wants MY taxes to pay his pension and medical costs for 40 years of mounting senility? Fuck that.

by Lord Grimcock January 14, 2008

gleet

British. Ball glaze, pre-cum. The few clear drops of fluid that struggle past the Jap's eye during sexual stimulus, prefiguring the blowing of the gentleman's stack. Nature's none-too-efficient lubricant.

Despite a generous yield of gleet I ended up with terrible friction burns. That's the last time I fuck a book of carpet samples.

by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007