Lord Grimcock's definitions

rainbow cocktail

With a loving partner, after a long night of fornication, to husband the combined essence of your ejaculate, gleet and the lady's fannybatter and, when available, menstrual runoff; to mix it with the contents of the liquor cabinet, fetch two straws and share a tall glass of the results.

The night we shared our first rainbow cocktail was the night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Ah wait, I tell a lie - we done it once before the night you was conceived.

by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

ecky thump

What Bill Oddie says when a normal person would say 'fuck me rigid' or words to that effect.

Kate Humble: I'm going public about our relationship, Bill. By tomorrow morning the world will know about your propensity for freeform nambling and Belgian biscuit, you sick bastard.

Bill Oddie: Oh, ecky thump.

by Lord Grimcock November 15, 2009

Celine Dion

A quasi-sex act that combines the worst aspects of the Cleveland steamer, Darjeeling standpipe, Hawaiian muscle fuck, Trimdon Piledriver and Pasadena mudslide, with or without the use of goosefat, performed in groups of six to eight to the sound of contemporary rock.

Shields is going to the fucking dogs. Only last week behind Majestic Bingo I happened on a group of youths engaged in some sort of half-arsed Celine Dion.

by Lord Grimcock October 30, 2007

swollocks

British. Swollen bollocks; overfull testicles, cliffhangers. Together with heightened aggression, cold-sweating and the shakes, symptomatic of DSB.

I gave him a right punt up the swollocks, mam.

by Lord Grimcock September 14, 2007

jizzoon

A sexually indiscriminate woman; a slapper. A conflation of the word jizz with '-oon', to evoke a spitoon, as it were, for glob. Like the cuspador, a place you can release problem fluids where spitting them at the wall isn't a graceful option.

I found half a dozen foil wrappers and a pack of gonorrhea pills in Trish's handbag again. That bitch is a Forrestal-class jizzoon.

by Lord Grimcock September 18, 2007

TUBE

Medical shorthand. Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.

Female, 19, mild foot pain. 5ml sodium pentathol. TUBE.

by Lord Grimcock August 26, 2007

WRNS

Officially, Women's Royal Naval Service, a sort of auxiliary RN for women that was brought in to relieve manpower shortages during the war. Also known as the Wrens.

Unofficially, for quite obvious reasons, Weekly Ration Naval Snatch.

I crave flange, when's that new WRNS arriving?

by Lord Grimcock May 8, 2009