Lord Grimcock's definitions

grimling

Like 'darling', but necrovertedly grimappropriate. AVE NEKROVIZARDATHS!

Let's use the Catterick condom tonight, bitter grimling mine.

by Lord Grimcock October 17, 2008

GROLIES

Medical shorthand. Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence In Ethnic Skirt.

Female, 45, complaining of intense stress-related chest pain. Diagnosis: GROLIES. Prescription: 5mg ketamine, diurnal, to be taken anally.

by Lord Grimcock August 26, 2007

custard cousin

A man to whom one is related by virtue of having had a slice of the same pie. Bird's Second Law of Custardation states that six degrees of custard kinship would unite virtually the whole mammalian population of Earth. Most of them by way of a certain bitch-whore I used to work with.

Justin Timberlake, Kevin Federline, that Brummagem Paki, the Dave Clark Five, the fourth 'Lassie' and half the population of Detroit are custard cousins.

by Lord Grimcock October 16, 2008

Darjeeling standpipe

A pleasurable sex act whereby a teapot is filled with hot, not boiling water, the scrotum suspended therein, and a consenting adult partner encouraged to blow through the spout while wanking one off. The effect is similar to a testicular jacuzzi.

Don't put the leaf in yet, sweetness. I fancy a Darjeeling standpipe.

by Lord Grimcock October 15, 2007

Ron Paul

I can't remember the last time a US presidential candidate (or British MP for that matter) looked so good. He's got more bottom than all the rest of those opportunistic hack nobodies combined. American non-voters don't have any excuse this time. You get to choose between him, some compromised douchebag like Giuliani and oblivion under the unspeakable Hilary Clinton.

That bastard wouldn't let me in to vote for Ron Paul. Some bollocks about not being a US citizen.

by Lord Grimcock September 16, 2007

faggoth

Conflation of faggot / goth. Largely redundant, because all goths are fags. No exceptions whatsoever.

Another faggoth gone below, praise that from whom all blessings flow.

by Lord Grimcock October 7, 2008

baby boomer

The generation that destroyed the West.

This fucking baby boomer fought no wars, underfunded the welfare state, failed to have any kids, bought the White Album and was a generally self-righteous hippy cunt while Rome burned. Now he wants MY taxes to pay his pension and medical costs for 40 years of mounting senility? Fuck that.

by Lord Grimcock January 14, 2008