56 definitions by L.MARTIN
Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"
HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."
HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."
GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."
GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"
Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."
Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
IF YOU'RE A STRAIGHT MAN:
1)Out and about with one woman...RESPECT.
2)Out and about with two women...MUCH RESPECT.
(Quick note:This scenario was more likely to happen
in days gone by.(the 70's)Nowadays...to have two
women out for fun...then back to the pad for more
fun...is exceedingly rare.Unless they're "proffessionals".
Which by the way is not a bad thing in itself.
3)Out and about with three women...YOU'RE FEMME GAY.
Nothing wrong with that...but if you're not...one can
assume the worst case scenario...that you are deemed
SAFE and NON-THREATENING.
1)Out and about with one woman...RESPECT.
2)Out and about with two women...MUCH RESPECT.
(Quick note:This scenario was more likely to happen
in days gone by.(the 70's)Nowadays...to have two
women out for fun...then back to the pad for more
fun...is exceedingly rare.Unless they're "proffessionals".
Which by the way is not a bad thing in itself.
3)Out and about with three women...YOU'RE FEMME GAY.
Nothing wrong with that...but if you're not...one can
assume the worst case scenario...that you are deemed
SAFE and NON-THREATENING.
GUY 1:"Hey..check out that guy over there walking into the Victoria's Secret with those three hotties."
Guy 2:"No love.He's at the ass end of the the RULE OF 123.
Guy 2:"No love.He's at the ass end of the the RULE OF 123.
by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005
ONE PHONE CALL: If she/he can't decide to get together after one phone call...it was'nt meant to be.Either they're not into you or worse...they're indecisive.
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
TWO DATES:If he/she is'nt in the bed of your choosing after two dates-(They know if they want you)-end all contact.Either they're not into you,or worse...they're indecisive attention whores.
THREE FUCKS:Get past the first two? Got him/her in bed? Good.Make it enjoyable for all involved...but at about that third session...someone will want to be involved more deeply.Time to bounce.Who's on deck?
DUDE 1:"Gina is hot...but whatever happened to Josie?"
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
DUDE 2:"She wanted commitment.I got a RULE OF 123 I tend to follow.Just was'nt in the cards."
by L.MARTIN October 3, 2005
AGENT:"Dammit Harvey! My clients' a wreck.I thought we left
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
by L.MARTIN September 27, 2005
You walk into a strip club flush with cash.Beautiful women take their clothes off and dance for you.One in particular
catches your eye.She's hot...charming...smart...and seemingly
level-headed.You know it's too good to be true.So does she.
Remember you're in a STRIP CLUB.You're paying women to behave
like their real-world polar opposite.She moves in...with her kid.Has yours.You're FUCKED.
catches your eye.She's hot...charming...smart...and seemingly
level-headed.You know it's too good to be true.So does she.
Remember you're in a STRIP CLUB.You're paying women to behave
like their real-world polar opposite.She moves in...with her kid.Has yours.You're FUCKED.
INVESTMENT BANKER 1:"I've taken Mylene to dinner a coupla' times outside of this place.I'm thinkin' I might move her in.
IB2:"You'll beee sooorrry!Have'nt you ever heard of PSP?"
IB1:"PSP?"
IB2:"PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX.She's on her best behavior...until she moves in.Then
the fangs and the claws come out.
Been there."
IB2:"You'll beee sooorrry!Have'nt you ever heard of PSP?"
IB1:"PSP?"
IB2:"PSYCHO STRIPPER PARADOX.She's on her best behavior...until she moves in.Then
the fangs and the claws come out.
Been there."
by L.MARTIN January 30, 2006