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J. Michael Reiter's definitions

Aquascutum

a top class British manufacturer that makes an every bit classy double breasted ten button trench with belt and cuff straps as Burberry. It is also found on the backs of the world's miscreants, but this unfortunate happenstance is cancelled out be the fact that enough of the world's beautiful to MOST beautiful women in possession of these coats... and they know precisely how to wear them;

with the buttons buttoned, the collar open and the belt fastened tightly by the buckle with the cuff straps fastened just snugly enough to ward off chills...
An Aquascutum trench coat should be in the closet of every beautiful to most beautiful woman, in sufficient quantity to be had one every day of the week, 52 weeks of the year...
by J. Michael Reiter October 25, 2004
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Paintball

A dumb fucking "sport" played with "guns" that in reality are a gadget that shoots "paintballs", the eponyms of note.

This game takes on an eerie and all together too close for this author's comfort resemblance to small unit tactics that this author practised when this author was in his country's armed forces...

The players of this "game" are usually wealthy overgrown adolescents that have yet to grow up; Also, one finds the washouts and unsuitables that can't make it into their own country's armed forces...

The ones that think that this is a great game should try carrying a Rifle, a Full and HEAVY Rucksack, Tactical load bearing webbing, and a STEEL HELMET THAT WEIGHS MORE FOR EVERY SECOND YOU WEAR THE FUCKING THING!!!

The Rich and Powerful like Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings, and Princes should do this themselves, and get their family members in on the fun. It won't go on for long...
Paintball! What a ridiculous excuse for reality!!!
by J. Michael Reiter November 7, 2004
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pot

Otherwise known as Marijauna. Or Shit, wacky tobacky, weed, bhang, or Mary Jaise, Mary J's, or MJ.
Dog, Yo, Yo, YO! Let's score some fine ass pot, ma bruzzle!!!
by J. Michael Reiter September 6, 2004
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up the spout

Found in the Military(Canada's, The US's and Elsewhere), This means to load your weapon, or denote that your weapon is already loaded...
E.g, The Glock-17 holds 16 rounds: 15 in the magasine and 1 up the spout.
by J. Michael Reiter January 13, 2008
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learn you a lesson

VERY POOR Junky English. The author/s need the Grammar Bammer to Hammer Correct Grammar into them...

It should be Teach or Taught; and It was in My Day.
You call that winning at Gotham City Project?
Gimme that controller and I'll TEACH YOU A LESSON!

Learn you a lesson? That's shabby, poor and utterly bad english! Learn some, before I teach you some!
by J. Michael Reiter April 19, 2006
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Sword

A weapon from days gone by that has yet to be equalled for its sheer simplicity and elegance; A thing that at its simplest is a long knife with different rules and expectations as well as some different techniques from standard knife fighting. Also this is a weapon that inspires fear and devotion.
Just ask all the Kendoka and Martial Artists; Check out Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2. Oh, Yes; Note that the scimitar , a sword originating in the Middle East, was one that was wielded by the Saracens(Ancestors to the present day's population) and wielded "blade to the wind", the right way, to be true...


ii) In the parlance of today, however, a sword is merely an erect penis, as a nod to freudian psychoanalytic theory...
The ancient Persians had a disconcerting habit of scaring their adversaries by standing in ranks on the battlefield and holding their sword in the air and allowing the wind to be cut as it blew throug their ranks... This sort of thing was what originated the modern day military's honor guard's drill command and movement known as "blades to the wind".
by J. Michael Reiter November 7, 2004
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Banana Split

1. a tasty, TASTY treat made with a Banana, ice cream, chocolate, caramel and strawberry toppings or something like them in some semblance of that order, with whipped cream, nut sprinkles, in a special Vessel called a Banana Boat. Made for eating on hot days in summer, or when the consumer feels crappy and needs victuals for oroesopha-Gastrointestinal comforting...

2. When pluralised, and preceded by the specific 'The', as The Banana Splits,
is a children's cartoon, that defies that description, given the content and the time (Late sixties vintage) that it was made...
tra la la, tra la la, tra la la!
Tra la la, tra la la, tra la la...
one banana, two banana....
You get the rest.
by J. Michael Reiter May 6, 2005
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