vagnostic

One who has a solid trust in vagina despite having somewhat vague beliefs.

The vagnostic was a deep believer in vagina, although he/she knew not of just quite what.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013

playing fetch

golf always; soccer usually

TV's on. Wasn't paying attention. Realized I've been ignoring golf, not soccer*. What is with these people playing fetch with their balls?

*world football (whatever)

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013

old people upsetting

can mean upsetting old people for fun,

or the feeling you get from watching old people being frisky

It's fun like old people upsetting, not like having fun old people upsetting.

by Emerson Crossjostle May 12, 2015

Asshole Fractal

The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.

I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 09, 2013

remote viewing

Staring at the remote control wondering why the TV won't turn on.

I spent the last ten minutes remote viewing and missed the start of my favorite show.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

mashed couch potatoes

Oftentimes what you'll find left behind after a tornado and a trailer park merge.

It's a simple recipe. Only 2 ingredients are needed to make mashed couch potatoes: a tornado and a trailer park

You don't even need to add the tornado, though.
Just let the trailer park attract it.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

This Poo Shall Pass

positive affirmation used to cure constipation

Went to New Age doctor for cure to my ‘having trouble pooping’ problem. Cost: $100 bucks.

Suggested I say affirmation.

THIS POO SHALL PASS

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013