El ritardo's definitions

Whipping up some Jelly

British(generally Birmingham) slang for wanking.

After a long day’s work, it’s always nice to come home and start whipping up some jelly.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

Painting some sea dragons

A rather obscure term for wanking. Supposedly originated in Australia.

When they asked me about why I put ‘painting some sea dragons’ on my resume, I told them it was part of the scholastic art competition.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

helping a friend get an oil change

A rather working-class term for jacking off.

My boss asked me why I was fifteen minutes late for work; and I told him I was helping a friend get an oil change. Thankfully, he believed me.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

dealing myself a hand of solitaire

A rather sophisticated term for masturbating.

My therapist asked me what I did to keep myself busy when I was bored, so I told him that I was always dealing myself a hand of solitaire on Sunday afternoons.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

milking the missile

Jacking off

My wife divorced me after realising I’ve been milking the missile to Uncle Grandpa hentai for the past five years.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

Hibbert Syndrome

Hibbert Syndrome is a tendency found in some people to laugh at tragedy or any other overly facetious moment. It is named after Dr. Hibbert, a character from the Simpsons renowned for this behaviour.

After laughing at the fires ongoing, Jeremy was diagnosed with Hibbert Syndrome and was given a bipolarity prescription.

by El ritardo September 14, 2020