11 definitions by DSeanK

A #Hoagie or #Submarine Sandwich minus the delicious bread and Rolled in Tasteless Lettuce. Not a sandwich at all.

A #Salad that almost stays together disguising itself as a Sandwich.

A #Lettuce Wrap
Customer: "Hi college dropout... can I get the Number 1 as a Lettuce Wrap?" Sandwich Artist: "Oh you mean the Handheld Meat Salad."

I see you ruined your Sub by ordering it as a Handheld Meat Salad.
by DSeanK May 13, 2021
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Each Bottle of Alcohol has specific rules for drinking it.
Hey Sam, Each drink has Bottle Rules. The Jack Daniels Bottle rules are, you must include a toast to Jack himself. The Makers Mark must be drank while naked. Each Shot of Wild Turkey must be accompanied with a text to your Mom. You have to take your shirt off when drinking Cuervo.
by DSeanK January 16, 2015
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Failing to deliver a shit in the toilet.

The Shit keeps poking its little head out but crawls back up into its hole.
I went to the bathroom, but I got Golden Gophered.

Spent 20 minutes on the can, but I was Golden Gophered.
by DSeanK January 28, 2015
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When you have to poop so bad and it feels as if it is starting to poke out. Only to have you force it back in via a strong clench.
I must get back to the room I am Turtleing right now. Hurry Up! I am Turtleing!
by DSeanK January 26, 2015
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