Cosmo's definitions

Colombian Flu

The incessant sniffling that inevitably follows insufflating a line of cocaine. So called because cocaine is a stereotypically Colombian export, and sniffling is a symptom of flu.

Chris: Yo, Kev, man, why you keep sniffling like that?
Kevin: Just a bad case of Colombian Flu.

by Cosmo February 7, 2007

St. Monday

The act of taking Monday off from work/class because you got crunk so hard over the weekend that you couldn't recover in time. The joke is that you're celebrating "St Monday's Day" and so you can't come to work.

The term actually dates back to pre-revolutionary America. Benjamin Franklin makes fun of his co-workers for taking a large number of "Saint Mondays" in "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin".

"This, and my being esteem'd a pretty good riggite, that is, a jocular verbal satirist, supported my consequence in the society. My constant attendance (I never making a St. Monday) recommended me to the master; and my uncommon quickness at composing occasioned my being put upon all work of dispatch, which was generally better paid. So I went on now very agreeably."

-The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

by Cosmo July 17, 2006

fuschk

an English euphemism for fuck. Used in front of parents, small children, people of the cloth and other situations where profanity is unacceptable. It's meaning is additionally mollified by its funny sound. Some claim it's Russian for "screw off" but this is not true.

Gas is 2.75 a gallon? What the fuschk?

by cosmo August 17, 2004

jimjams

condoms. a variant of jim-jams

"You need some jimjams, man?"

"No, dude. And besides, they're "jim-jams."

by Cosmo January 3, 2005

Clintonian Virgin

A man or woman who claims to be a virgin, on the grounds that they've never engaged in vaginal intercourse. This is in spite of having had a great number of what Kenneth Starr would consider "sexual partners".

As opposed to technical virgin, which carries no overt implication of promiscuity, association with Bill Clinton's reputedly expansive sexual conquests makes the Clintonian Virgin something of a slut or man-whore.

Chris: Hey, did you know that chick's never had sex before?

Kevin: Yeah, but she's been around. And around. And around.

Chris: Ah - a true Clintonian Virgin.

by Cosmo March 23, 2007

poop

A corn log.
Golden brown floater.
Taking the kids to the pool.
losing weight.
A Cpt. Brown Eye Wink.
long range torpedo.

Why's poop tapered at the end? So your ass hole doesn't slam shut.

by Cosmo April 10, 2003

take the grenade

To sacrafice yourself by feigning interest in the hot girl's/guy's fat/ugly/annoying friend. Generally done while going out with a group of people, as it would be senseless to fall on the grenade solo.

see also fall on the grenade, jump on the grenade, sit on the grenade.

Rupert: Thanks for taking the grenade last night, man. It was totally sweet hooking up with that really hot girl. How was hooking up with her ugly friend?"

Cornelius: Not so bad once I got the brown paper bag over her head.

by cosmo October 8, 2004