Carl Willis's definitions
n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
Get the amurkin mug.n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboarding is not a crime mug.v. (from ghetto)
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
by Carl Willis February 12, 2005
Get the ghettify mug.v. To cook something on a grill.
n. (1) A grill (can be used to mean a person's face).
(2) "grass" (marijuana).
n. (1) A grill (can be used to mean a person's face).
(2) "grass" (marijuana).
You got the wings? Let's grizzle that shiznit!
1. Fo' real nizzle, why you always got 2B up in ma grizzle?
2. Antwan be bluntin' some grizzle and the 5-0 roll up on his ass.
1. Fo' real nizzle, why you always got 2B up in ma grizzle?
2. Antwan be bluntin' some grizzle and the 5-0 roll up on his ass.
by Carl Willis February 7, 2004
Get the grizzle mug.n. Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. On this day, one apparently does not work, get in a car, fucking ride in a car, pick up the phone, turn on the oven, or partake in the game of bowling, among other things.
"I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times I don't roll on Shabbos!" --Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski)
by Carl Willis July 20, 2006
Get the Shabbos mug.by Carl Willis November 4, 2003
Get the trow mug.n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.
Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.
by Carl Willis July 26, 2004
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