turd in the punch bowl

n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.

This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.

The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis February 14, 2011
Get the turd in the punch bowl mug.

jack in the box

n. West-coast fast food chain. Your one-stop shop for E. coli and salmonella.
I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.
by Carl Willis July 23, 2006
Get the jack in the box mug.

Hello Kitty

n. A Japanese psychological mass-casualty weapon, developed by scientists at the Sanrio Corporation; unleashed upon humanity in 1974 with the goal of subjugating the planet under Japanese imperial rule.

Nobody knows how Hello Kitty works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon and Dragonball Z.

Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.
"The people of the United States have already formed their opinions regarding Hello Kitty, and well understand the implication to the very life and safety of our nation."
by Carl Willis January 12, 2005
Get the Hello Kitty mug.

briznitch

n. A prostitute with an attitude.

The term is derived from "brizzle" and "biznitch", where "brizzle" = "br(oad)" + "izzle" and "biznitch" = "bitch". Snoop Dogg's influence on language is very evident in this word.
"Nigga went down to EZ Lay's Cathouse fo a little somethin-somethin, you know, but all they got up in that piece is a bunch of nasty briznitches".
by Carl Willis February 21, 2005
Get the briznitch mug.

spamlist

n. A list of email addresses, usually obtained illegally, to which a spammer distributes his spam. The spammer optimistically calls these addresses "leads" and may pay several hundred dollars for a list of good leads such as eBay or AOL users.
"If you do not remove me from your spamlist in the next 24 hours, I'm gonna come down there and flay you to death with a power sander."
by Carl Willis February 27, 2005
Get the spamlist mug.

westinghouse

verb. westinghoused; westinghousing: fr. name of American inventor George Westinghouse. To put a person to death in an electric chair (which in early embodiments were operated from an AC power supply). The attachment of Mr. Westinghouse's name to the electric chair was a form of negative advertizing devised by Thomas Edison.
"The Rosenbergs were westinghoused at Sing Sing Prison yesterday for treason, and the bodies were sent to the morgue in nine-dollar pine caskets."
by Carl Willis January 20, 2006
Get the westinghouse mug.

liebercrat

n. (fr. Joe Lieberman + Democrat) A closeted Republican; A neoconservative wingnut parading as a member of the Democratic Party because of political expediency. Someone who has checked all reason and responsibility at the Senate door.
Republicans and liebercrats voted last night to drop a nuclear weapon on Iran in order to "send a message" that the pursuit of nuclear weapons there was morally wrong.
by Carl Willis September 25, 2007
Get the liebercrat mug.