Carl Willis's definitions
n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboarding is not a crime mug.n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.
This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.
The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.
The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis March 2, 2011
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1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.
2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).
3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.
2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).
3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. After years of patent hostility, US Emperor-For-Life George Bush finally nuked France in 2020, resulting in the formation of the "Freedom Sea".
2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."
3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.
2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."
3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.
by Carl Willis March 12, 2005
Get the nuke mug.Adj. Presenting the outward appearance of one's identification with urban ghetto culture through affected attitudes, mannerisms, language, or dress.
Deshante sauntered slowly to the principal's office in his F.U.B.U jacket and do rag, making his best effort to look thugged out despite being only twelve years old.
by Carl Willis July 28, 2003
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by carl willis March 22, 2014
Get the kav mug.n. A female who provides sexual services in exchange for rocks of crack cocaine, upon which she is physiologically dependent.
Daequon's bitch a crack ho--you gotta git out the rock before you can git out the cock, dogg. Dat's just how it works.
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
Get the crack whore mug.n. An outspoken, irrational person with deeply-held, nominally conservative, political views. A person who chooses on principle to be flagrantly ignorant. A "right-wing nut".
Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps are examples of the wingnut element in modern America.
by Carl Willis February 18, 2006
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