Carl Willis's definitions
n. A four-wheeled board used for personal transportation, and as an instrument for denting railings, grinding stairways, chipping benches, and committing other acts of vandalism against public property.
"You get that skateboard off of my property, you filthy little pot-smoking delinquent! Or I'll call your mama up so she can give you a spanking!"
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboard mug.n. A Japanese psychological mass-casualty weapon, developed by scientists at the Sanrio Corporation; unleashed upon humanity in 1974 with the goal of subjugating the planet under Japanese imperial rule.
Nobody knows how Hello Kitty works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon and Dragonball Z.
Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.
Nobody knows how Hello Kitty works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon and Dragonball Z.
Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.
"The people of the United States have already formed their opinions regarding Hello Kitty, and well understand the implication to the very life and safety of our nation."
by Carl Willis January 12, 2005
Get the Hello Kitty mug.adj. Used in reference to a decorative or jewelry item containing a prolific quantity of diamonds ("ice"). Connotes an ostentatious display of material wealth accumulated through slangin' crack, pimpin' 'hoes, hustlin' at the swap meet, MCing, and not paying chile support to tha baby's mamas!
Montrel was all frontin' his shit for the ladies like he's Mr. President or something, 'til I step in sportin' an iced out 24-karat Rolex on BOFE arms! Dayyumn, nigga, guess who got the booty now.
by Carl Willis August 4, 2004
Get the iced out mug.n. An outspoken, irrational person with deeply-held, nominally conservative, political views. A person who chooses on principle to be flagrantly ignorant. A "right-wing nut".
Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps are examples of the wingnut element in modern America.
by Carl Willis February 18, 2006
Get the wingnut mug.Adj. Having an absence of faeces in one's colon, typically due to involuntary discharge of the bowels from extreme fright.
"After hearing what happened to bad little boys at Old English Preparatory Academy, William was scared shitless."
by Carl Willis November 16, 2004
Get the shitless mug.n. (Can be disparaging) The Japanese.
The term's origin was in World War II, when it was often used by Americans in the context of decrying the perceived treachery, cunning, and craziness of the Japanese.
The term's origin was in World War II, when it was often used by Americans in the context of decrying the perceived treachery, cunning, and craziness of the Japanese.
Joe: "Did you know that in Japan, you can buy a 14-year-old's used panties from a vending machine?"
Bob: "Those crazy nips."
Bob: "Those crazy nips."
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004
Get the the nips mug.n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.
Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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