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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Geek God

A geek who, under his dorky cloths and silly glasses, has a really hot body and beautiful face. Usually has a great personality and is often socially awkward and completely unaware of his physical beauty.
Eric was shocked to see Steve from IT dancing at the bar. It turns out he's got the body of a Geek God under his lame, ill fitting work cloths.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
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Calling Cassandra

Named after the Greek prophetess. When you first warn someone about the trouble you see ahead.
“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”

When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Exposure Disclosure

When you need to notify someone that they may have been exposed to an STD.
Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.

Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Pull a Palin

To avoid answering questions directly because you don't know the answer, or you don't want the person to talking to knowing the real answer, and talking about another subject you do know something about, or something to flatter or distract the other person, instead. Also resorting to speaking in talking points, folksy colloquialisms, or buzz words to avoid answering questions while trying to look like you know what you're talking about and to keep from having to give an honest or valid answer.
"I didn't do any research for my oral report on raising chickens so I pulled a Palin and started talking about how to make fried chicken."

"I knew that car salesman was full of crap when he pulled a Palin on every question I asked about the car. The last straw was when I asked him about gas mileage and he just said, 'Little lady, I can tell you all day about how few times you'll need to take this pony to the trough but we ought to close the barn door on it before some eagle eye rustles it up from ya. Why don't we just talk about it in the office while I get the papers ready' I ran as fast as I could.

"When I asked my boyfriend about the rumor he was doing gay porn, he pulled a Palin and mumbled something about my friends trying to pull a smear campaign."

"If he asks you what you were doing afternoon, pull a Palin and talk about your new car and how cute his kids are."
by Brett Burkhardt January 16, 2009
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Porno No-No

Someone who’s just too ugly and unappealing even for cheap, skanky, depressing porn.
Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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HSN Nut

A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.
Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Facebook Fraud

The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.

We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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