Brett Burkhardt's definitions
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Golden Parachute Punk mug.A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
Get the whorephaned mug.A moment of self denial, privation, or sacrifice that a person uses for sympathy and pity for years on end or to guilt people into doing what they want.
Ed knew that driving his girlfriend to the airport at 4am was just the martyr moment he needed to get more oral.
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Martyr Moment mug.When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Hold Hostage mug.A girl who acts like an out of control monster while planning her sweet 16 and should get an ass whooping instead of a party. She’ll also make outrageous demands and try to waste as much money on this event as possible.
“DADDDYYYYY!!!!! I wanted a BLACK Escalade, not a white one! You’re ruining my life!” Screamed the Sweet 16 Succubus
The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Sweet 16 Succubus mug.Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Secret Smoker mug.Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Guido Hair mug.