Brett Burkhardt's definitions
A moment of self denial, privation, or sacrifice that a person uses for sympathy and pity for years on end or to guilt people into doing what they want.
Ed knew that driving his girlfriend to the airport at 4am was just the martyr moment he needed to get more oral.
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Martyr Moment mug.Someone who thinks that living downtown is the only way to go and that everyone else is an uncultured rube.
“I can’t visit her, she lives in the suburbs for God’s sake! You might as well ask me to go to the deep south or the dark heart of Africa or some other place with no running water or appletinis!” Shrieked the uppity urbanite.
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Uppity Urbanite mug.Named after the Greek prophetess. A way of saying “I told you so” or to remind people not to complain to your ass about shit because you warned them all about the problems you saw coming a mile away.
I filed a Cassandra Claim when you hired his dumb ass so don't start in with me. I told you he was a sticky fingered shifty bastard and you still hired him so it’s your fault that he stole over $9,000 worth of stock.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Cassandra Claim mug.“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Crusty tube sock mug.Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Guido Hair mug.Ever since Casey got a raise, Missy has been waging a whisper war about him all over the office.
“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Whisper War mug."He sent me 20 texts today which is odd. He hardly ever texts and said he had the runs."
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Toilet Texting mug.