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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Slow Burn

An insult that doesn’t sink in for awhile.
When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.

He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Ratty Cathy

Someone who accidentally rats out someone during their usual stupid rambling conversations.
“...and then we were all at the bar, and Misty looked hot in that dress and everyone was looking at her. Then Laura blew a guy in the men’s room but, oh my god, this guy bought us all shots and then..”
“Wait, so Laura cheated on her boyfriend.”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” mumbled the Ratty Cathy.

No one ever told Clayton anything because he turned into a ratty Cathy after just one drink.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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whorephan

One who has been left behind at the bar by a friend and/or ride so that they can hook up. Also known as being whorephaned.
The bartender knew that the chunky girl with the hot friend was going to be a whorephan by midnight the second they walked up to the bar.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
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Release the Beast

Usually used when fighting or about to fight, in this case it is used when hanging up on a rude or abusive caller. Can be used as a passive aggressive weapon if calls are being monitored or if a manager is nearby and you don't want them to hear you rip said caller a new asshole
If this bitch raises her voice to me again, I'll release the beast and hang up on her ass.

"So then I told her that we don't allow non-service dogs in this hotel and she flipped out on me, calling me a cunt and all this other shit."
"What did you do?"
"I released the beast. I wasn't going to stand there listing to someone scream at me over shit I don't control."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Nutrition Nazi

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.
“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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tab abuse

When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.
"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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