Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Prowling for Predators

1. When police officers pretend to be pre-teens to lure out sexual predators on youth oriented websites and chat rooms.

2. When a teen goes into a sexually explicit chat room or website as if they don’t know what’s going to happen.

Robert loved his job prowling for predators. Sure pretending to be a 12 year old girl was a bit odd but he loved nothing more than busting pervs who tried to meet up with his alter ego at the park.

The girls at Stephanie’s slumber party thought it would be fun to go into the “hot nasty XXX NY/NJ” chat room and start prowling for predators until the creepy messages started.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Geek God

A geek who, under his dorky cloths and silly glasses, has a really hot body and beautiful face. Usually has a great personality and is often socially awkward and completely unaware of his physical beauty.

Eric was shocked to see Steve from IT dancing at the bar. It turns out he's got the body of a Geek God under his lame, ill fitting work cloths.

by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008

Calling Cassandra

Named after the Greek prophetess. When you first warn someone about the trouble you see ahead.

“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”

When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Mumblefuck

When the person you're talking to is mumbling and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. Usually used in situations where they're giving you important information like a reservation number or directions on how to get somewhere.

A typical mumblefuck conversation.
"Can I get your order please?"
"Yeah-um...I'd *mumble*...and then *mumble* large *unknown stammering*"
"I'm sorry, what?"

"Hey, Amy, how do we get to your house from downtown?"
"You'll go down *mumble mumble mumble*...after that you'll take a *mumble* onto 4th *mumble*
"Hold on, Amy, just a sec....Guys, can you shut up for a sec, this is a real mumblefuck conversation and all your talking isn't making this any easier to hear."

by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008

Sweet 16 Succubus

A girl who acts like an out of control monster while planning her sweet 16 and should get an ass whooping instead of a party. She’ll also make outrageous demands and try to waste as much money on this event as possible.

“DADDDYYYYY!!!!! I wanted a BLACK Escalade, not a white one! You’re ruining my life!” Screamed the Sweet 16 Succubus

The Sweet 16 Succubus who’s parents had rented the yacht was rolling around screaming and crying on the floor like a five year old because the roses aren’t the right shade of pink. What a bitch.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Secret Smoker

Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.

Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

whorephaned

A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger

Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.

by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008