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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Drag Dowager

An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.
“Girl, check out that drag dowager in isle three. I half expected to see an Adam’s apple on her.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Mrs. Mannerless

An asshole, especially an old asshole, who’s insanely rude to everyone and then bitches and lectures about how no has any manners these days.
“I’ve been on hold for three fucking minutes! In my day, we knew how to say sir and ma’am and not keep people waiting all day for a simple answer, you mongoloid sonofabitch! Now get me to someone who speaks real fucking English...damn Spics...and don’t put me on hold!” said the cranky 90 year old Mrs. Mannerless to a customer service rep.

Mrs. Mannerless felt the need to lecture the cashier on the proper way to greet a customer, ring up items, and bag groceries in a 23 minute long obscenity laden rant which included her spraying thick globs of menthol stinking spit all over register 10 during her more animated moments.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Girls Night Out Shepard

The girl who stays sober and keeps all of her friends together at the bar or a party. Usually the one who will step in and cock block you the second you start getting somewhere.
A girls night out shepard is like a Marine...she won’t leave anyone behind.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Jewelry Junky

Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.
April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.

Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Pregnancy Prevention Patrol

Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.
With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.

Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Prowling for Predators

1. When police officers pretend to be pre-teens to lure out sexual predators on youth oriented websites and chat rooms.

2. When a teen goes into a sexually explicit chat room or website as if they don’t know what’s going to happen.
Robert loved his job prowling for predators. Sure pretending to be a 12 year old girl was a bit odd but he loved nothing more than busting pervs who tried to meet up with his alter ego at the park.

The girls at Stephanie’s slumber party thought it would be fun to go into the “hot nasty XXX NY/NJ” chat room and start prowling for predators until the creepy messages started.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Mumblefuck

When the person you're talking to is mumbling and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. Usually used in situations where they're giving you important information like a reservation number or directions on how to get somewhere.
A typical mumblefuck conversation.
"Can I get your order please?"
"Yeah-um...I'd *mumble*...and then *mumble* large *unknown stammering*"
"I'm sorry, what?"

"Hey, Amy, how do we get to your house from downtown?"
"You'll go down *mumble mumble mumble*...after that you'll take a *mumble* onto 4th *mumble*
"Hold on, Amy, just a sec....Guys, can you shut up for a sec, this is a real mumblefuck conversation and all your talking isn't making this any easier to hear."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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