Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Exposure Disclosure

When you need to notify someone that they may have been exposed to an STD.

Rick didn’t mind working for the county health dept but he hated having to try and give exposure disclosures when all he had to work with were screen names.

Mrs. Manners says, if you’re going to make an exposure disclosure you should at least have the balls to do it by phone.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Post Secret Poser

Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.

Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.

"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Girls Gone Wild Wench

Girls who go to GGW parties trying to get their tits on video so that they can brag about it or hoping that it will launch their career.

Ebony just knew that if she could get on the next GGW tape that record labels would be dying to sign her, everyone knew she was a Girls Gone Wild Wench.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Gym Widow

Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.

Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.

Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

2 Beer Bisexual

A guy who starts to act out his bisexual desires after just one or two drinks.

The guys at Alpha Sig didn’t care that Mark was bi, they just wished he would be honest about it instead of being a 2 Beer Bisexual who uses drinking as an excuse to be his real self.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Secret Smoker

Someone who decries smoking during the day, but at night loves nothing more than a nice menthol.

Kim was a classic Secret Smoker. She would lecture her kids about the evils of smoking all day but, come 2 am, she would sneak behind the garage and relax with a nice cigarette.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.

“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008