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Brett Burkhardt's definitions

Little Girl Lisp

The insanely annoying little girl voice that immature and stupid women love to use, especially when trying to weasel shit from other people.
When Steve heard the hottie at the bar talking in a little girl lisp he knew she was going to be a pain in the ass.

“Damn it, woman, you’re 27 years old, stop talking like a fucking 5 year old! It’s just fucking sad at this point! This little girl lisp shit isn’t cute anymore, it’s just pathetic!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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QVC Crack Head

A person who spends all their money ordering shit on QVC and then returning it.
I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Toilet Texting

"He sent me 20 texts today which is odd. He hardly ever texts and said he had the runs."
"I think he was toilet texting you."
"Gross!"
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Whisper War

Using gossip and slander to stir shit up.
Ever since Casey got a raise, Missy has been waging a whisper war about him all over the office.

“If that bitch thinks she’s going to start a whisper war with me I’ll beat her ass after study hall.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Trailer Treasure

Something that’s just so trailer park kitsch that you just can’t help but love it.
When Maryann saw the black velvet painting of Elvis, Princess Diana, and Dale Earnhardt drinking beers while floating on clouds in heaven, she just couldn’t pass it up. It was just TOO great a Trailer Treasure to not buy.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Bathroom Blather

When a person insists on having a long, drawn out, pointless conversation on their cell phone when going to the bathroom, especially if it is a public bathroom.
"Dude, is there another bathroom here?"
"No, why?"
"There's some asshole in there talking on his cell phone and I just couldn't take a leak."
"Bathroom blather is so fucking rude."

When I heard I toilet flush I knew that this conversation was just bathroom blather.
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Credit Creep

Someone who’s always begging for more credit on an account even though they can’t pay for what they already have.
Ashton was a credit creep who would call all of his credit cards each month to demand a higher credit line even though he never paid them on time.

“Barkeep, I want to open another tab!”
Go fuck yourself credit creep. You still owe $900 from last month and until you pay it off you will have to pay cash.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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