Biff Justice's definitions

Variety Pack

1. noun. The term used to describe a pack of cigarettes containing many different brands of cigarettes. The pack, through trading or mixing, has at least 3 different kinds of cigarettes, allowing the owner many choices.

"Can I bum a grit off you?"
"Sure, I got 3 Camel Lights, 1 Marb Red, 2 Winstons, 1 Virginia slim, a Camel Strait, 5 Parliaments, and 3 USA Golds. Which one?"
"I'll take the Slim, and that's one hell of a variety pack you got there."

by Biff Justice March 22, 2006

Dagwood

Is a small to unusually large piece of driftwood that, when high, a stoner will consistently cast at and continue to lose fishing lures on.

Holy shit guys, check out that awesome dagwood. There's gotta be 50 fishing lines stuck to it!

by Biff Justice October 28, 2005

Minderer

A person who constantly drifts off to places unknown, within the realm of their own mind. Usually, this person has A.D.D. or another disorder that renders them unable to pay attention.

"Hey, hey, in down front fat guy." No point in trying anymore to reach that minderer, he was off to places unknown.

by Biff Justice October 20, 2005

Yoda-Talk

Changing the order of words in a sentence as the Jedi Yoda from Star Wars would. It makes the sentences a drunk person speaks funnier and very laughable.

Dam that cats funny, he yoda-talks like no one else I know!

"Read the dirty magazines you will."
"Rubbed one out you have?"
"Young one failed, you have not"

by Biff Justice October 19, 2005

Republicans

A political party, formed in Ripon Wisconsin in 1850s. Funny that their main platform was anti-slavery but now Democrats have the black vote. Lincoln was the first Republican, he was killed (durr). The elephant symbol was actually created in a cartoon after Democrats attempted to scare Republicans into thinking that President Grant would run for a 3rd term. The cartoon showed the Republicans as a huge elephant unscared by the rearing of the Democrat Jackass. The Republican philosophy encourages individual liberty, individual decision-making, entrepreneurship, and creativity.

I wish they'd be against welfare, food stamps, government grants, border jumpers (wet backs), and other idiots that ruin this fair country. They should be more for weed, drinking, and free liberties. But, you can't have both, so, between Republicans and Democrats, I choose the better compromise.

Democrats would be a whole lot smarter if they voted for Republicans

by Biff Justice December 28, 2005

Jessica Simpson Disorder

A girl, either ugly, fat, or unpopular, that believes she is a splitting image of Jessica Simpson. Most usually, this girl has a very warped mind about the world, women in general, and mainly herself. She is led to believe due to this disorder that since she is so much like Jessica Simpson, she should be treated as such. If in any case you fail to treat her this way, with all her power, she will attempt to make you conform.
Many believe Jessica Simpson disorder to be related with heavy MTV viewing, cheese intake, and a long/drawn-out menstrual cycle, lasting an entire year. The only known cure is immediate psychiatric treatment. Removal from MTV/Cheese will combat some of the symptoms, but relapse is common.
Currently, 1% of the female population has this disorder, with 10% of those afflicted residing in Wisconsin.

"Dude, just fucking dump Heather already, nobody likes her. She is manipulating you with her Jessica Simpson Disorder."
"I thought the tv remote had a lot cheese powder on it."
"You better wash those hands, she'll lick 'em clean to the bone."

by Biff Justice November 2, 2005

illinosion

ill-i-ne-schon
1. A resident of the state of Illinois, that drives.
2. All of the Illinois residents are horrible drivers. Turn signals??? What the fuck are those for!?! Ahh, gas and brake, that's all they need. Car life expectancy in Illinois, 3 years (if it doesn't get in an accident).

"I fucking hate Chicago, chok full of Illinosions"
"Me to man, me too."

by Biff Justice November 5, 2005