Alex-2598's definitions

Hither, thither and yon

Everywhere; Here, there and everywhere

From hither (“here, in this place”), thither (“there, in that place”) and yon (“over there, in a distant place”)

The title of a 1961 song by Brook Benton.

So long had I sought a love sweet and true
Hither, thither and yon did I roam
Yet the love I desired was here all along
Just across the way from home

by Alex-2598 February 9, 2023

I Did Not Hit Her

1. It’s not true, it’s bullshit, I did not hit her, I did not.

{Oh hi Mark}

Friend 1 (has not seen The Room): I can’t believe they’re saying this about me, I did not hit her!

Friend 2 (has seen The Room): it’s not true, it’s bullshit, you did not hit her, you did not *limply throws water bottle*

Friend 1: Huhh??

Friend 3 (named Marcus) shows up randomly

Friend 1: Oh, hi Mark.

by Alex-2598 February 23, 2021

Bigfeet

The plural of Bigfoot.

We were exploring the woods one fine morning when we stumbled upon a herd of Bigfeet.

by Alex-2598 September 11, 2023

306-232

(political humor, rare) An inevitable outcome, something that cannot be avoided no matter what one tries.

A reference to the Electoral College tally in the previous two US presidential elections, where, if you discount faithless electors, the result both times was 306-232.

Only three things in life are certain: Death, Taxes, and 306-232. There is no escape.

by Alex-2598 October 3, 2022

"Yes" joke

Possibly the most incorrectly formulated joke found on the internet, especially in YouTube comments. Here is how it is usually phrased, let's say we're talking about a song with a lot of autotune. A commenter who's feeling clever might quip:

Producer 1: How much autotune should we put in this song?

Producer 2: Yes

This is INCORRECT, it is nonsensical and ungrammatical if you stop to think about it for two seconds. How much and how many are not yes / no questions, you can't answer "how much?" with "yes" unless you also specify two or more options. For example:

Q: How much autotune should we put in this song, a few touches or a robot-stroke inducing truckload?

A: Yes

Person 1: Should we make a few grammatically incorrect "Yes" jokes or spam the entire internet with them?

Person 2: Yes

by Alex-2598 July 24, 2023

♭

“Flat”, from the musical notation for a flat note, not to be confused with the letter “b” to which it does bear a striking resemblance.

However, ♭ can also be used as a general replacement for the word “flat” in writing (it is always pronounced “flat”, in spite of its resemblance to “b”), much like & can substitute for “and”, or @ can stand in for “at”.

My soda tastes a bit♭

I can’t stand♭ earthers

The performance fell♭ on its face

That dress really♭ers her figure (flatters)

His♭top and♭cap are straight out of the 50s (flattop, flatcap)

My♭mates kept me up all night with their horribly♭ karaoke (flatmates)

by Alex-2598 January 19, 2021

Bill Clinton Gambit

A defense strategy where one seeks to extricate oneself from a bad situation by claiming to be innocent by (a usually absurd) technicality. Named for former US president Bill Clinton, who popularized this strategy in the 1990s with his creative explanations for how he didn't actually smoke weed because he didn't "inhale", and most infamously, how he didn't technically lie when he said there is no sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky because "it depends on what the definition of "is" is."

Person 1: I just read an article about how Senator Rob Johnson claimed he didn't technically commit a crime by being involved in a plot to replace legitimate Electoral College electors with fraudulent ones in the 2020 election, because he was only involved for "a couple seconds"...

Person 2: A Republican using the Bill Clinton Gambit? Oh the sweet irony.

by Alex-2598 August 23, 2022