Alex-2598's definitions

Ambiundextrous

For both of one’s hands to be equally useless, the natural opposite of ambidexterity.

I write just as badly with my right hand as with my left, therefore I am ambiundextrous.

by Alex-2598 April 12, 2023

I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew ass…and I’m all outta ass

A phrase that ought to be on this site so as to preserve it in perpetuity as a culturally and aesthetically significant remark.

As expected, the phrase announces that the speaker intends to both kick bubblegum and chew ass, only to express regret that he is all out of ass to chew. Cue furious bubblegum kicking.

You think you’re the shit, huh, pal? You think you got what it takes? Well let me tell you this: I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew ass…and I’m all outta ass.

by Alex-2598 April 22, 2023

m12

Four orders of magnitude above a m8. If someone is your m12, they are not just your friend anymore, they are your soul mate.

Here is a simple chart to explain:

m7 - acquaintances

m8 - pals

m9 - really good friend

m10 - best friend

m11 - in love

m12 - soul mate

She is the love of my life, she is my m12.

by Alex-2598 April 23, 2023

All my base are belong to you

A particularly endearing Millennial love confession. It should be noted that if said to a non-millennial, there is a very high probability that it will come off as extremely confusing and likely result in your sanity (and grasp of the English language) being questioned.

John: "Sarah, all my base are belong to you."

Sarah: "Oh John, I love you too!"

Bewildered bystander: "Huh?"

Knowing bystander: "It's a Millennial thing."

by Alex-2598 April 27, 2023

"Yes" joke

Possibly the most incorrectly formulated joke found on the internet, especially in YouTube comments. Here is how it is usually phrased, let's say we're talking about a song with a lot of autotune. A commenter who's feeling clever might quip:

Producer 1: How much autotune should we put in this song?

Producer 2: Yes

This is INCORRECT, it is nonsensical and ungrammatical if you stop to think about it for two seconds. How much and how many are not yes / no questions, you can't answer "how much?" with "yes" unless you also specify two or more options. For example:

Q: How much autotune should we put in this song, a few touches or a robot-stroke inducing truckload?

A: Yes

Person 1: Should we make a few grammatically incorrect "Yes" jokes or spam the entire internet with them?

Person 2: Yes

by Alex-2598 July 24, 2023

Bigfeet

The plural of Bigfoot.

We were exploring the woods one fine morning when we stumbled upon a herd of Bigfeet.

by Alex-2598 September 11, 2023

Bill Clinton Gambit

A defense strategy where one seeks to extricate oneself from a bad situation by claiming to be innocent by (a usually absurd) technicality. Named for former US president Bill Clinton, who popularized this strategy in the 1990s with his creative explanations for how he didn't actually smoke weed because he didn't "inhale", and most infamously, how he didn't technically lie when he said there is no sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky because "it depends on what the definition of "is" is."

Person 1: I just read an article about how Senator Rob Johnson claimed he didn't technically commit a crime by being involved in a plot to replace legitimate Electoral College electors with fraudulent ones in the 2020 election, because he was only involved for "a couple seconds"...

Person 2: A Republican using the Bill Clinton Gambit? Oh the sweet irony.

by Alex-2598 August 23, 2022