A WHITE GUY's definitions

Redneck pizza

Roadkill that has been run over so many times that it’s just a scattered pile of blood and guts that’s almost completely flat, resembling a pizza.

To eat the redneck pizza, just slap it on the engine block of yer truck until it congeals, cut it into 8 slices with yer buck knife, take a big ol’ hit off yer meth pipe, then enjoy with yer friends Bubba and Jim-Bob. Best served with pabst blue ribbon or some other piss beer.

by A WHITE GUY December 25, 2018

Ghettophile

A woman who only dates the biggest piece of shit bums from the shittiest possible neighborhoods with the most possible baby mommas and longest possible criminal record, typically letting him sponge off her while he openly sells nickel bags of the poorest quality drugs out of her home.

Or it’s a guy who’s a hopeless romantic and tries turning a hoodrat into a housewife, and is completely oblivious to her whorish behavior when he isn’t around.

The thing that both types of ghettophiles have in common, they’re just being used by the other for the sexual and/or financial gain. And when the ghettophile has nothing left to give them, they’re gone faster than a plate of bacon in front of a starving cannibalistic pig.

by A WHITE GUY January 17, 2019

Mountain don’t

Store brand Mountain Dew knock offs or Mello Yello (which is made by coke as their competition.)
Some are great, some are just ok, some are quite terrible and taste like straight up sugar water with no fizz or citrus flavor (shasta moon mist, aka mountain doo-doo).

For $5.99 I can get a 12 pack of Mountain Dew, but for $2.75 I can get a 12 pack of mountain don’t. If it turns out to be mountain doo-doo, I won’t be too disappointed because it was only $2.75 for a 12er, I just won’t buy it again.

by A WHITE GUY January 27, 2019

Religion

An excuse for willfully ignorant and stupid bigots to justify their intolerance and hate against people who are different than them (race, creed, gender, sexuality etc...)

Don’t let those assholes discourage you from believing in god since most religious people are good people.

Gay couple: Why did you vandalize our house?
Bible thumper: GOD HATES FAGS!!! THE BIBLE SAYS ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM AND STEVE!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE AN INSULT TO MY RELIGION!!!
Gay couple: But we didn’t choose to be gay, it's not our fault.
Bible thumper: That’s not true, there are camps where you can pray the gay away. I’ve been there twice and I got cured.
Gay couple: Are you sure you’re cured?
Bible thumper: (covers ears) BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH JESUS LOVES ME BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

by A WHITE GUY January 27, 2019

Mudbutt

When you take a shit and there’s literally more poop on the toilet paper than there is in the toilet, and the poop is extremely sticky and thick (almost tar like)and impossible to clean off your asshole without scrubbing intensely in the shower. Usually happens when you eat too much junk food.

P1: “WTF took you so long in the bathroom? Were you writing a novel or something?”
P2: “Sorry, had a bad case of mudbutt. It was like the labrea tar pits down there.”
P1:”Maybe if you didn’t eat all those god damn Doritos every day and ate a fucking salad once in a while, you wouldn’t have that problem.”

by A WHITE GUY January 29, 2019

Hippie haircut

When you set your hair on fire, or at least singe it, while trying to light the bong. Especially bad if you’re a long haired greasy hippie, you’ll end up looking like ghost rider. That’s why you should get a haircut you god damn hippies.

They’ve been telling Hippie Steve to get a haircut, or at least take a shower for years now, but he didn’t listen. Then one day while trying to enjoy the marijuanas, unwashed for days and extremely greasy, his hair went up faster than nascar. That was the most brutal hippie haircut in the history of stonerhood. RIP Hippie Steve.

by A WHITE GUY April 19, 2021