it is very hard to define a guido, but the archetype includes: an inordinate amount of hair gel, tight neon colored polo shirts (usually more than one) with the collars popped, and large designer sunglasses. this group is pretending to be of Italian decent if they aren't actually Italian. they enjoy things like lifting, being pussies and taunting without anything to back up their threats or taunts. The areas most densly populated with guidos are the Jersey Shore and parts of new york
by hatethegamenottheplayer October 19, 2009
The complete misrepresentation of anything remotely italian because italians, who are actually from europe, have class and do not concentrate their energies on date rape, frollicking, steroids, expensive material items that no one else would buy, cheap girls (who share the same, uncanny resemblance), work construction (which anyone can do), the stupid blowout hear that makes them ALL look related (which may be taken into account due to their lack of intellect), frequenting clubs in NJ, NY, etc on a nightly basis, investing in working out and continuing to dress in those work-out clothes daily, wearing make-up that make them look like dead crack whores, fake tans that make them orange (if one dyes their hair green they will be less respectable umpa lumpas) and egotistical maniacs to the point where ALL of them should be sterilized to prevent further cultural contamination.
Who's the douche who looks like they stood in front of an industrial fan for too long?
That's an unecessary element of society, a guido.
Holy crap! How do I get rid of that guido?
An irish curb stomp usually clears those parasites out of the area.
That's an unecessary element of society, a guido.
Holy crap! How do I get rid of that guido?
An irish curb stomp usually clears those parasites out of the area.
by (/Leprechaun/) January 25, 2008
A guy who works out way too much, wears muscle shirts, has his hair slicked back, and has problems forming a coherent sentence.
by Rodger Dodger August 1, 2003
A certain type of douchebag that lives in the New York City metro and is usually of Italian descent (although in my town, some of the Guido-types are Irish, Jewish, Hispanic, or Eastern Europea in addition to Italian.) You can find him in Brooklyn, in Westchester, the Bronx, Long Island, New Jersey, Staten Island, etc.
They are known for driving fast, tricked-out cars like BMW's, with which they blast their God-awful techno music.
They can be spotted wearing spiked-up hair smothered in gel, and often go out for fake tans.
They sport clothes such as A|X (an alternative, Politically-correct term for Guidos in my town is "A|X kids.") They also wear wife-beaters (they're behavior mirrors the name of those clothes.)
They also carry around Nextels that make the awful chirping noises.
They are generally all-around assholes who smoke pot, drink, harass people, live frivilously off of their wealthy or middle class parents, and trash people's property.
They are known for driving fast, tricked-out cars like BMW's, with which they blast their God-awful techno music.
They can be spotted wearing spiked-up hair smothered in gel, and often go out for fake tans.
They sport clothes such as A|X (an alternative, Politically-correct term for Guidos in my town is "A|X kids.") They also wear wife-beaters (they're behavior mirrors the name of those clothes.)
They also carry around Nextels that make the awful chirping noises.
They are generally all-around assholes who smoke pot, drink, harass people, live frivilously off of their wealthy or middle class parents, and trash people's property.
"I just heard a Nextel, must be the Guidos again."
"Those Guidos were blasting their crappying techno by my house last night."
"Those Guidos were blasting their crappying techno by my house last night."
by I hate NYC-area subgroups July 31, 2006
a person so uneducated that he judges the success of another individual by the amount of jewelry or car they drive.
this really happened: I met a Guido at my company's training seminar and one of our speakers was Tony Jeary, who is known in certain circles, but Guid' goes, " I dunno, he ain't got no nice watch. ring or nuthin (it's hard to type this and keep from laughing), so he ain't doin that good."
by Kathryn Stone June 1, 2003
A species of porcupine, confined to mostly New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island
See: thegirlbehindthelipstick.blogspot.com/2010/10/guido-survival-mechanisms.html
See: thegirlbehindthelipstick.blogspot.com/2010/10/guido-survival-mechanisms.html
by LipstickRed October 19, 2010
A sad excuse for a male. Guido's spend most of their time at the Jersey shore at a bar called Dejays. There, you can find them pounding yegabombs and hitting on under age girls. The guido attire consists of shirts two sizes too small. They will then pop the collar on their shirt and undo about three or so buttons to reveal their shaven and tanned (sometimes with ingrown hairs) chest. Guidos will wear sunglasses not just during the day but also at night and inside dark night clubs. This makes them feel cool and "gangsta". They are usually involved in many violent attacks where usually 10 of them will jump one single person. This is due to their rage brought on by growth hormones and steroid which have an effect on their already undeveloped brains. Also known as Douche bags, the guido will idolize TV shows such as The Sopranos or Entourage and will try to impress douche bag girls with their Tony Montana (AlPacino in Scarface) impersonation. As mentioned before, it is best not look directly at them as this will make them feel threatened, and because they have usually overdosed on Protein powder and steroids, they may become violent and initiate a fight for no reason at all.
" Eww look at that Guido..he's all prickly. He obviously didn't shave his chest and arms today."
"What a douche"
"What a douche"
by whatahell May 29, 2009