The chocolate pastry bag was invented by President Herbert Hoover's wife as a practical joke. She ran the gag on President Hoover daily over the course of five years. Simply, you cut a hole in the tip of someone's shoe and then shit in the shoe. When the unsuspecting party puts his/her foot in the shoe . . . SQUIRT . . . the chocolate pastry bag. However, the innocent joke went sour in the hands of Al Capone. He gave wiskey to midgets and intelligent children then tricked them into giving each police officer in the country at least one chocolate pastry bag per week.
Mrs. Hoover: Honey, would you go give the shanty townsfolk some lemonade? SQUIRT! Hahahahaha . . . "the chocolate pastry bag!" You are one dumb bastard. Cop: See, aw shucks, see . . . the crooks got the whole station with the "chocolate pastry bag" again. That's the last time I take off my shoes to answer the telephone, see.
by Toby Doughbawaski February 25, 2008