Jared's Law 

The fact that a woman's response rate is purely arbitrary and the very fact that she chooses to respond is better than her responding quick or late.

Person 1: Yo Felicia ain't responding to my messages bro
Person 2: Relax man, she'll get back to you
(after 5 hours)
Person 1: Yo she got back to me man!
Person 2: Jared's Law always holds

Jared's Law by theincrediblesmith November 12, 2019

Jared’s Pose 

The peace sign over the individuals face/head area

Did you see that dweeb doing the Jared’s pose? What a loser

Jared’s Pose by Fat Mano March 31, 2020

Jared's Revenge

Sometimes when you go to Subway, you're too hungry for a six-inch sub, but not hungry enough for a footlong sandwich. That feeling you get once you've eaten the footlong sandwich when you should have just had the six-inch sub is known as Jared's Revenge.

"Oh man, I definitely should have got the six-inch Italian BMT, not this footlong Steak & Cheese... I've got a serious case of Jared's Revenge!"

Jared's Revenge by King Rustler, Bane of Jimmies May 28, 2012

Jared S 

Fuck up, ugly piece of shit

The biggest mistake in the world is knowing Jared S.

Jared S by Pussyeater96 September 10, 2018

Jawad's driving lessons 

Brown to Brown action involving a car and 2 Brown guys.

Yo! I fucked the shit out a dude in a car dude!
Damn dude! That's crazy bro! Thank god you had a fun time with Jawad's driving lessons!

Jawad's driving lessons by Tacobell_Lords October 31, 2022

Jared's Fingers 

The most gracious fingers known to man, known to make any man or woman bust upon sight. These fingers have fueled entire societal movements, and are some of the most significant fingers in history.

Nick: I think I'm going to hell
Saul: touch'a'my Jared's Fingers.
Nick: *ascends*

Jared's Fingers by No_Name_Bob December 19, 2022

Jared's Ears 

Most ticklish ginormous, and gargantious motherfuckers on this planet, in the solar system, in our galaxy, in our milkyway, and especially, on this side of the Mississippi. These existing figures that we call ears are the biggest most pergananant beings on the face of the same planet i breathe on

Man I got a real Jared's Ears on my balls

Jared's Ears by Christophlak March 30, 2024