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Floppy Calamari 

When you stick a firework in your urethra and it explodes, proceeding to look like a peeled banana.
“Jason put a firework in his penis and made a floppy calamari out of it.”
Floppy Calamari by Crackston June 6, 2021

Rocky Mountain Calamari 

Deep-fried and battered foreskins.

Clobber the calamari

To engage in male masturbation with a very aggressive stroke
Billy went into his room to "Clobber the calamari" after inadvertently walking in on his parents during a bout of intense lovemaking.

rocky mountain calamari 

sheep, goat, cow assholes cooked the same way as traditional calamari
Suzy doesn't care for rocky mountain oysters but she really digs rocky mountain calamari if they are prepared correctly

Kill Calamari 

When you say that you're going to "kill a calamari" it means that you're going to masterbate...this comes from the popular line "Everytime you masterbate, god kills a calamari".
"I'm going to take a shower and kill a calamari in there"
"I'm a serial calamari killer"

Syon Calamari 

SYON IS RETTARDEEEDDDD LIKEEE ZAVVIERRRRR
Syon Calamari by DIG BICK BOIII October 29, 2020