Coitus

A sexual act between male and female in which the penis is inserted into the vagina, or as Stewie Griffin would say:

"Inert your pen-is ('pen' as in for writing, fallowed by 'is') into her vag-in-a (like 'Badge' with a 'V' fallowed by the two words 'in' and 'a')"

Quagmire was playing a sex game with an asian woman in his country house, and he was dressed as a geisha, then he took of his robe and positioned himself over her, and saw the griffin family had walked into the room. He then said:

"Oh.....is this the weekend you guys were coming up?.......Well here I am, cream on my face, hair a mess, and in mid-coitus, I must look a sight!"

by does it matter.....? February 4, 2009

Coitus

When 2 people commit intercourse wearing nothing but bowties and secrete wine instead of semen. Also known as fancy sex.

"Doth mother know you commiteth coitus upon your sister"
"You shan't telleth her the truth"
"I shall"
"Shan't"

by FancyBritishAccent April 8, 2021

Coitus

A nerdy word for "sex"

Sheldon doesn't want to have coitus until after he had his first child.

by presidenko_putin April 9, 2015

Coitus

Fancy way of saying sex

I want someone you **** me then say I had coitus

by Jacob black December 21, 2020

Coitus

When you get fucked by a large inverted dragon cock with a mutant plant growing through it.

Example 1: I committed coitus last night
Example 2: would like to have coitus baby boo hunny bun?

by InsanityUB March 30, 2017

airborne coitus

Periphrastic speech for flying fuck, usually preceded by "I don't give a . . . . ".

I don't give an airborne coitus what Massachuetts senators think!

by Duckbutt November 20, 2005

Coitus Procrastination

The act of thinking about football, soccer, golf, dead puppies, your mom etc etc during sexual intercourse causing a disruption in your exitement level and thus, not cumming as fast as you normally would (i.e. 1 minute)

Joe- I was about to cum while having sex with my girlfriend, but i had to resort to coitus procrastination since it had only been 45 seconds since penetration.

Mark- Awesome bro! I will start coitus procrastinating from now on!!

Pablo- Que? No el inglishh

by MrPollo2010 February 23, 2010