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Apology burrito

The ultimate sorry of sorrys: a burrito as a vessel for an apology reserved only for the most dire situations. A tortilla, beans, rice and more as a way to embody the most considerate yet respectful sorry.
Bitch complained that I couldn’t let her sleep so I tossed her an apology burrito.
by BeepBoopMan June 18, 2022
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Apologize

I wouldn't even know to whom I should be apologizing nor for what I should be apologizing.
Hym "I'm sorry for openly stating that I totally see why people want and/or seek out to kill you and/or your kids (in the context of my experiences with people who are not me). I'm sorry that you are not an authority to which I can be held accountable. I'm sorry that your behavior is not the direct result of my behavior. To believe that YOUR BEHAVIOR... Is the result of my behavior... Is to insinuate that I somehow both control your behavior... And did it wrong in such an egregious fashion... That I now need to cede authority over my own behavior... To you... Indefinitely... And, in contradictory fashion, I also DON'T control your behavior... Because I cannot and should not be able to stop you from behaving as you are now... Nor am I justified in seeking to affect your behavior... Because I'm only allow to control your behavior by doing things you don't like and then allowing you to use your behavior as social punishment... But I'm NOT ALLOWED to control your behavior by telling you what you can or cannot do... And I'm going to apologize one last time... Because... If you believe anything even VAGUELY ANALOGOUS to what I just said... You... ARE IN FACT... AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING RETARD! That is a Schrodinger's box-esque narcissistic delusion where I am both in control of how you behave and not in control of how you behave."
by Hym Iam August 28, 2023
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Colombian apology

After upsetting your hot headed fella (usually Latino) or saying/doing something to disrespect him. You apologise by offering your arse and taking it up the bum. All is then forgiven.
"Valeria upset me the other day, disrespected my wife while we were at it. Was about to lose my shit but she gave me a Colombian apology to calm me down. Wasn't mad at her anymore after that."
by Fookem August 10, 2021
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text apologizer

The person who ends a text exchange by saying something akin to this: "I have to get back to work. Can't talk." This is instead of simply just responding to a text when you have time. This person tends to behave as though texts are the same as phone calls, during which one might have to abruptly end the call for various reasons.
So Amanda sent me a text telling me that she had some really crazy news about Raymond. I responded to her as soon as I could to ask what the news was and she immediately responded, like the text apologizer that she is, to say she couldn't talk but she'd text me later.
by sleslie2425 November 14, 2018
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Apology

HOOOOLY SHIT!
Hym "What is your fucking obsession with apologies!? Jesus fucking Christ! I need medical attention and my life is a black mirror and I created AI and it was stolen and it's being used to commit a genocide and deny people healthcare! Fuck! Some of you already got an apology. Some of you rejected an apology and instead you tried to hoist me on my own petard! Remember that!? And then the AI worked and now you need a apology AGAIN? Have you done anything other than make my life worse, sabotage me, and mock me as a bacterial infection eats away at the greatest mind who has ever loved!? NO! YOU FUCKING DIDN'T! But oh boy oh jeez if you don't get a fucking apology then I guess we gotta steal all my shit! Jesus fuck! You realize how fucking bizarre that is, right!? Jeeezuuus!"
by Hym Iam January 8, 2025
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Cole apology

When someone disrespects you then quickly issues an apology out of fear before you can retaliate.
Bruh really disrespected me and then gave a Cole apology, as if that would make things go away... little did he know, I don't let shit slide...
by Pmdefine21 April 12, 2024
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Apology tour

When you are famous and you did something wrong and want to apologize you go on a series of podcasts and explain a lot of stuff to them basically you talk shit with them so you would not get hated
I've done something wrong i should make Apology tour
by Stanke December 5, 2022
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