toolguru's definitions

mccain

A fossil who is the best thing the Republicans could come up with this year. May have a chance of winning because many American think he will keep us safe, think his vice is hot, and fear that Obama is a closet muslim. As you can see, many Americans are clueless! Put your pride aside and vote for who will make you life better-- Obama!

I ain't voting for that slick-talking Muslim just cause he gonna get us out of Iraq, improve our economy and schools and make almost everybodys lives easier! I'm gonna vote for the old man mccain because he is a former POW and I don't care that he wants us to stay in Iraq for another 100 years and build more air-conditioned ferris wheels there!

by toolguru January 13, 2009

Bible thumper

An individual who justifies his/her actions by quoting Bible passages. They often reject scientific evidence, pass judgement on others, and have a know-it-all attitude. Most have lost the ability to think critically.

As our Biology teacher showed us pictures of Lucy, a fairly well-preserved Australeopithicus fossil and tried to explain how she had characteristics of both extinct primates and some current primates such as apes, chimpanzees, and humans, some Bible thumper in the back of the room yelled out "We din't come from no monkeys!"

by toolguru November 12, 2007

sloppy fish

A potentially dangerous, yet at the same time hilarious and mostly unintentional maneuver in which an individual who has inhaled too much nitrous oxide suddenly keels over mid-laugh and begins to unawaredly mimic a fish out of water.

Mikey Nitrous brought a tank to the bachelor party and 3 dudes pulled a sloppy fish.

by toolguru January 29, 2008

tool

That guy who makes us shake our head in disbelief but at the same time makes us feel better about ourselves since we are not him.

"Jake just spent $80 buying those hot chick shots and then they walked off with those other guys!" "He's such a tool!"

by toolguru January 5, 2009

mother hen

In a group of girls, the one who feels responsible for her friends. She often will push away guys and or pull away her friends from guys physically. She is usually either fat, ugly, annoying or all of the above. (Can be used as a noun or a verb)

I spent like $100 on drinks from this hot chick in a Vegas club and as we were heading up to my room, I got mother-henned out of nowhere! The nerve of the fat bitch!

Allright, guys, we need one of you to occupy the mother hen for a bit while I lead this chick out the dance floor!

by toolguru January 13, 2009

Sarah Palin

A tool used by the Republicans to try to win female votes that would have gone to Hillary. What the women who vote for her don't realize, though, is that she is the complete opposite of Hillary on the political spectrum. Sarah Palin wants to make even rape victims or women whose baby may kill them still have it. She also wants to ban the sale of condoms and preach abstinence in schools instead of safe sex. BRILLIANT!

I don't agree with any of her policies, but I may vote for Sarah Palin because she looks decent for politician. Around February or March, I will regret it though when I realize what she has been doing to our country and my wallet!

by toolguru January 13, 2009

penomach

the male counterpart to the vagomach-- the flabby area beneath the belly button of a man's beer belly

I need to switch to Miller Lite because the Miller has caused me to develop a penomach.

by toolguru January 13, 2009