the comand'r's definitions

dick date

When two guys hang out together in a non-romantic fashion over dinner or a show. Also referred to as a "man date".

I was planning to take my wife out to see the Bostones with dinner beforehand. She bailed at the last minute, so I invited Eric and we went out on a dick date.

by the comand'r August 26, 2014

whoopsie wave

When you wave to someone you know and another person intercepts your wave mistakenly as if you are waving to them, e.g. caught in the crossfire of your wave.

I was waving to Eddy at the show and Phil thought I was waving to him. Awkward... Phil waved back to me as he was caught in a whoopsie wave. It's almost as bad as when Jim invited me to lunch, thinking I was Tony because his phone contacts were screwed up resulting in Jim texting me with an invite.

by the comand'r April 14, 2014

submarine shot

Similar to a "floater shot" aka "floater", but at the bottom of the cocktail.

Tamara: My husband was lit last night, I apologize for him at the wedding, he was plowed and loud.

Brie: I had a blast with Adam - classic Adam. He was ordering everyone bushwhackers with floaters, though ordering his bushwhackers with a submarine shot as well as a floater!

by the comand'r November 11, 2021

two new ears

What a very talkative person is always in search of, e.g. someone who has not yet tuned them out.

At the party Tyler was droning on about politics that no on really cared to hear about as we had been with him all day and the guy did not stop talking. Four girls suddenly showed up the party and Tyler latched onto one of them as a new victim - two new ears.

by the comand'r February 24, 2019

crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.

Eric: Why, happy ending?

Dana: Nope. Actually, it was the polar opposite. I was so relaxed I shat myself at minute 45.

Eric: Oh dude, crappy ending...

by the comand'r October 27, 2014

reaper reminder

What you get the morning after tangling with a Carolina Reaper pepper, the burning sensation of taking the dump to get it out of your body.

Ted really went after it when he ordered 10 Carolina Reaper chicken wings last night. He powered through 6 and then tapped out, though he took the remaining four to-go and finished them later in the eve. The next morning he got the early morning reaper reminder and remained skittish about his PMBM that was coming later that day. The whole experience gave new meaning to heat seat.

by the comand'r February 4, 2021

home coworker

Your spouse or family member when you are working from home. Corollary to office husband or office wife.

Dennis: Pam just walked in while I was on my conference call. As we have to share our home and both sustain our working environments, I am learning to manage along with my home coworker. When this Coronavirus blows over, I am going to introduce Pam to Jenny so that my home coworker can meet my office wife. Perhaps tonight I will call a meeting with my home coworker to put some effort toward producing a corona boomer.

by the comand'r April 3, 2020