the comand'r's definitions

crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.

Eric: Why, happy ending?

Dana: Nope. Actually, it was the polar opposite. I was so relaxed I shat myself at minute 45.

Eric: Oh dude, crappy ending...

by the comand'r October 27, 2014

bake up call

Requesting a hotel, typically a motel, to call you at a certain time to remind you to smoke the doobage. Essentially a wake up call for stoners.

My roommate Carson used to set the alarm clock to wake him up for a smoke session early in the am, aka wake n bake, so much so that when he travelled and was too high to figure out how to set the alarm clock in a hotel, he'd call the front desk and request a bake up call. Typically at 4:20am.

by the comand'r November 30, 2013

plowed and loud

When someone is hammered thereby driving their voice up significantly.

I love the Gru, but he's noisy enough when he's sober, but when he drinks he is plowed and loud

by the comand'r October 26, 2017

dutch gloven

A smaller version of the dutch oven. When you fart in to your cupped hand and deliver the prize to an unsuspecting victim, aka dutch oven mitt.

Brendan like to ease in to relationships. That boy has some wicked gas, so to acclimate girls in to a long-term relationship, he will give a girl a dutch gloven within the first three dates. If she survives that, the next step is to turn up the heat and introduce her to his full-on dutch oven.

by the comand'r December 9, 2013

rip syncing

Similar to, but different from, lip syncing as rip syncing is the act of actually singing words, typically at the top of one's lungs when very drunk and having little care for the actual lyrics.

Jim was hammered last night and got rip syncing with Jill the entire Boston album. Between the two of them, they knew about 40% of the lyrics and 100% of the choruses, which the yelled very loudly.

by the comand'r October 26, 2017

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat with anonymous tips

Hub: ah, total douche defined...

by the comand'r November 20, 2023

fonduece

What comes out of you the morning after eating a whole lot of cheese. Also known as a fondump.

Dude, I went to this wine and cheese party last night and ate so much cheese that I blew out a fonduece this morning. It was sloppy!

by the comand'r October 5, 2013