old lang guy's definitions
This is the last survivor of one of many "Haven't heard anything like that since Grandma (Grandpa) ..." expressions that used to mean someone was overdramatizing their problems. Implied the person commented on was acting like a whiny old person. "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny got her tit caught in the wringer" was what you'd say when, e.g., a coworkers spent the morning complaining about someone having taken the last cup of coffee and not making a fresh pot.
"And everyone forgot to tell me that Awards Day is next week! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me? Doesn't anyone care ...." etc.
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
by old lang guy September 18, 2008
Get the tit in a wringermug. Also songs used when people needed to work in rhythm. Many are familiar folk songs. Like
--sea chanteys where the lead singer's solo line would get everyone set, and then they'd all sing (and therefore exhale) when they put out their effort pulling on a line.
-- field hollers that were used to keep lines hoeing a field up with each other. (And field hollers, speeded up and with some rhythm and some guitar added, might have been one of the origins of the blues, and thus of most American popular music since 1920)
-- capstan chanteys that kept people pretty much walking in the same rhythm while they turned giant cranks.
Very often work songs were subversive, making fun of the boss, complaining about the conditions, and sometimes carrying instructions for prison breaks, union organizing, or the Underground Railroad.
--sea chanteys where the lead singer's solo line would get everyone set, and then they'd all sing (and therefore exhale) when they put out their effort pulling on a line.
-- field hollers that were used to keep lines hoeing a field up with each other. (And field hollers, speeded up and with some rhythm and some guitar added, might have been one of the origins of the blues, and thus of most American popular music since 1920)
-- capstan chanteys that kept people pretty much walking in the same rhythm while they turned giant cranks.
Very often work songs were subversive, making fun of the boss, complaining about the conditions, and sometimes carrying instructions for prison breaks, union organizing, or the Underground Railroad.
Work songs examples:
Sea chantey,
Leader (while the end man belays, and everyone walks up the line and gets a grip): Reuben was no sailor ...
Crew (Singing while they pull the line back): Ranzo, boys ranzo!
(later in the song it turns out Reuben is now the captain ...)
Field holler ...
Leader: (while the crew picks up their hammers, stretches, and gets ready to swing): When Israel was in Egypt land ...
Crew (hitting on the drills on let, peop, and go): LET MY PEOPLE GO!
Capstan chantey, used to turn the winch to move the locks on the canal ...
Leader (while crew breathe and get set): I got a mule, her name is Sal ...
Crew (Walking forward, pushing on the capstan bars): FIFTEEN MILES ON THE ERIE CANAL!
Sea chantey,
Leader (while the end man belays, and everyone walks up the line and gets a grip): Reuben was no sailor ...
Crew (Singing while they pull the line back): Ranzo, boys ranzo!
(later in the song it turns out Reuben is now the captain ...)
Field holler ...
Leader: (while the crew picks up their hammers, stretches, and gets ready to swing): When Israel was in Egypt land ...
Crew (hitting on the drills on let, peop, and go): LET MY PEOPLE GO!
Capstan chantey, used to turn the winch to move the locks on the canal ...
Leader (while crew breathe and get set): I got a mule, her name is Sal ...
Crew (Walking forward, pushing on the capstan bars): FIFTEEN MILES ON THE ERIE CANAL!
by old lang guy July 14, 2008
Get the Work Songsmug. Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
Get the monkey fuckmug. Variant spelling of "run the gantlet." Spelled either way, it's pronounced gauntlet. A gantlet is a double line of people with clubs, whips, tomahawks, fraternity paddles, or other weapons; the poor bastard being punished runs between the lines and everyone hits him as he goes by. Depending on weapons and circumstances, this has been used as an initiation, a test of courage, a way to decide which prisoner to let go (to take the message back that you are holding hostages), or a way to execute someone without making any one person responsible. Often used to describe what the in-crowd does to a noob before accepting him -- "Making him run the gantlet" is a stronger, more violent expression than "making him pay some dues" or "putting him through all the hoops."
The Indians made old Zeke run the gauntlet and when he made it through with just some cuts and a lump on his head, they let him go.
My first year on the job they made me run the gantlet, but after that I was in.
At Kappa Kappa Kappa they make us pledges run the gauntlet for three months, and then on initiation night they make us run a real gantlet; I got through with my ass only getting about five hits, but my roommate fell down and they flayed his pathetic ass.
My first year on the job they made me run the gantlet, but after that I was in.
At Kappa Kappa Kappa they make us pledges run the gauntlet for three months, and then on initiation night they make us run a real gantlet; I got through with my ass only getting about five hits, but my roommate fell down and they flayed his pathetic ass.
by old lang guy January 11, 2008
Get the Run the Gauntletmug. The rule that if you listen very seriously and intently, with a deeply caring expression, to anyone until 4:30 a.m., they then must have sex with you. Sometimes a verb as well. Comes from the original, good version of Bedazzled, with Peter Cook (as the devil) and Dudley Moore (as the guy being tempted).
"Have you thought of just applying the rule of half past four?"
"What is it?"
"If you can stay wide awake and gaze at her thinking 'You are fascinating,' the whole time she talks, for everything she says, no matter how pointless and no matter how stupid, till half past four in the morning, you're in." (Not an exact quote)
I wanted her so bad that one night when she was drunk and dumping all this self pity, I kept telling her what an interesting person she was, until I finally half past foured my way into her pants.
"What is it?"
"If you can stay wide awake and gaze at her thinking 'You are fascinating,' the whole time she talks, for everything she says, no matter how pointless and no matter how stupid, till half past four in the morning, you're in." (Not an exact quote)
I wanted her so bad that one night when she was drunk and dumping all this self pity, I kept telling her what an interesting person she was, until I finally half past foured my way into her pants.
by old lang guy August 31, 2007
Get the rule of half past fourmug. Nick Bilton, whose March 10 article in the New York Times managed to explain how to be a digital/electronic douchebag for the audience of the New York Times.
Nick Bilton, of the New York Times, is such an utter douchebag that, in a section of the country and a social class noted for its production of douchebags, he is an instructor of others in how to extend douchebaggery to the digital realm.
by old lang guy March 20, 2013
Get the douchebagmug. Gradual but inexorable increase in anger, eventually becoming outright rage or fury; what happens as a patient or slow-witted person figures out what has happened and why it is significant. NOT the insult, but the process that the insult (or other upsetting thing) starts in the victim.
"Beware the fury of a patient man" -- Seneca was talking about the consequences of a slow burn here.
At first Ned liked to think his new girlfriend was popular, but as that progressed to flirty, and then to "widely available even when Ned was right there", he began to do a slow burn about it; finding her topless in the kitchen at a party was the last straw.
She did a slow burn over the fact that her roommate borrowed things, didn't return them, gradually assumed she owned them, and finally began to lend them out and give them away herself.
He dented my car and at first it was no big deal; I left a note on his windshield saying we'd figure out what to do about it, but when I didn't hear from him for months, except promises that we'd get in touch real soon, I started to do a slow burn.
At first Ned liked to think his new girlfriend was popular, but as that progressed to flirty, and then to "widely available even when Ned was right there", he began to do a slow burn about it; finding her topless in the kitchen at a party was the last straw.
She did a slow burn over the fact that her roommate borrowed things, didn't return them, gradually assumed she owned them, and finally began to lend them out and give them away herself.
He dented my car and at first it was no big deal; I left a note on his windshield saying we'd figure out what to do about it, but when I didn't hear from him for months, except promises that we'd get in touch real soon, I started to do a slow burn.
by old lang guy December 18, 2008
Get the slow burnmug.