old lang guy's definitions

pube jeans

Jeans so low cut that some pubic hair curls over the belt buckle; thought to be daring and sexy by a certain kind of younger woman.

That can't be her real hair color!

It's not, check what's sticking out of her pube jeans.

by old lang guy October 17, 2006

tits up

Show biz slang for hyper positive attitude. From the legendary rallying cry of the lead chorine for Broadway shows, just before they go on stage -- "Tits up, girls!" Usually an adjective -- a tits up attitude, taking the tits up approach, they want someone who's totally tits up for the job.

Everything is going to shit but my boss is so tits up I may have to kill him.

They want to see a lot of tits up attitude this quarter, when the new product rolls out.

by old lang guy October 17, 2006

monkey mind

Meditation term for a mind that refuses to be quiet and concentrated, so that your meditation is interfered with by your attention constantly finding new objects, like a monkey roaming through your brain.

If I concentrate very quietly I am sure I can think of an example, such as I wonder if Sandra wears panties in the summer?, no I mean an example of monkey mind, for which I need to concentrate like lemon juice concentrate god that's the best stuff for making lemonade to families with dependent children like monkeys infesting the mind and asking questions authority and authorizes questions come on there has to be an example of monkey mind your own business monkey business suit monkey suit

by old lang guy October 17, 2006

tits on a rooster

1: Double useless, something with no point at all. Comes off of "tits on" any male mammal, since males don't nurse the young; chickens of course don't nurse their young at all, so tits would be especially useless on a rooster.

2: derogatory for tiny or very small breasts

He's not even tits on a boar, at best he's tits on a rooster.

So we had it about worked out when Tits on a Rooster finally showed up, and it all had to have his input.

She's got about the same tits God gave a rooster.

by old lang guy October 29, 2006

testin' my gangsta

Checking whether I am a real street thug or just a guy doing the clothes and the talk.

First party out of jail and this little suburban Megan was testin' my gangsta, she only wanted me if I'd really done time.

by old lang guy November 16, 2006

cinderella fuck

In the ancient days of the 1970s, when dinosaurs ruled the earth and men were tiny squeaking rodents (not all that much has changed), a cinderella fuck was getting intercourse from a girl in her dorm room before the curfew when men were thrown out of the women's dorms. If you were really lucky, she'd want to get started early, but a lot of women preferred to start the cinderella fuck at about ten minutes to midnight. The opposite of a "rule of half past four."

"So you getting any?"

"I got about five minutes of a cinderella fuck before the PA announced 'all men off the floor.'"

by old lang guy August 24, 2007

rule of half past four

The rule that if you listen very seriously and intently, with a deeply caring expression, to anyone until 4:30 a.m., they then must have sex with you. Sometimes a verb as well. Comes from the original, good version of Bedazzled, with Peter Cook (as the devil) and Dudley Moore (as the guy being tempted).

"Have you thought of just applying the rule of half past four?"

"What is it?"

"If you can stay wide awake and gaze at her thinking 'You are fascinating,' the whole time she talks, for everything she says, no matter how pointless and no matter how stupid, till half past four in the morning, you're in." (Not an exact quote)

I wanted her so bad that one night when she was drunk and dumping all this self pity, I kept telling her what an interesting person she was, until I finally half past foured my way into her pants.

by old lang guy August 31, 2007