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newsvava's definitions

The most spectacular event imaginable in the universe.

Preceded by if/when/unless to represent the sort of circumstances under which you might change your mind about something.
Girl 1: Are you coming to Josh's party tonight?

Girl 2: Meh, I gots to work tomorrow. But call me when you're there if Angelina Jolie turns gay with Megan Fox.

**Later that night**

Girl 1: Hey! They just found Osama bin Laden hiding in Josh's basement!!

Girl 2: Dude, I'm sleeping. I said to call me if Angelina Jolie turned gay with Megan Fox.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
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Douché

Douché: A retort for when someone corrects or one-ups you in a total douchebag-like fashion that serves only to ruin the moment.
Me: "i had the CRAZIEST time last night! At the Strokes concert, they played a cover of All Along the Watchtower – you know, the Jimi Hendrix song? – anyway, their bass player pulled me up on stage and I sang the chorus with the band!! It was fucking amazing!!"

Idiot: Actually, Along Along the Watchtower is originally a Bob Dylan song. And it doesn't really have a chorus at all – it's not structured like that."

Me: Douché.
by newsvava March 5, 2009
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hello program

If you are required to say hello to someone when you see them, you are on a hello program with them.

The hello list is comprised of all the individual people with whom you are on a hello program.
Girl: Hello

Guy: Hello

Girl's friend: Why the fuck did you say hello to that guy?

Girl: Gaa, he bought my textbook. Now we're on an eternal hello program.
by newsvava February 13, 2009
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facesuck

Noun. A facebook message that sucks, often due to its level of gayness.

Verb. To suck at facebook, for example by sending only messages that are boring and/or totally gay.
Girl 1: Did you hear Colleen got engaged?!

Girl 2: I know, yawn. She sent me the gayest facesuck.

Girl 1: Yeah, Colleen sucks in real life and she facesucks.
by newsvava February 11, 2009
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trader nugget

Links to videos or websites etc. that people send each other, i.e. nuggets that people trade.
Girl 1: Holy fuck have you been on urbandictionary.com? Soooo funny!

Girl 2: Dude, staple trader nugget.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
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hells mells

Totally relaxed and chill, a.k.a. hella mellow.
Girl 1: So I hear you scared off George Clooney with your repeated text messages.

Girl 2: Whatever!! I sent him like TWO texts. It was hells mells!

Girl 1: Whoa, you need to mellow out. You know George Clooney scares off easily.
by newsvava February 12, 2009
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baby unicorn tears

Guy: Baby, the airport's closed and I can't make it home for Christmas!

Girl: Are you serious?! Baby unicorn tears!
by newsvava February 12, 2009
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