66 definitions by nethcev!

Poetry

The art of unlocking one’s most restrained and repressed emotions before manipulating them for aesthetic purposes in a feeble, half-ass attempt, to get into some college freshman’s panties.

Verbal Ejaculation

Poetry is such bullshit,
Nothing truly profound could ever be put on paper.
Self-awareness? Who needs it!
All I ever do is end up crying anyway.
It's like the dehydration of an emotional masochist;
Invisible pain, evaporating joy.
Someone oughta build a dam on my stream of consciousness,
But where then would all the fish go to spawn?
Why does Jesus ask for so much faith?
Where is Allah’s justice?
Yahweh hasn’t written a book in two millennia.
There’s too much order in the chaos.
My eyesight is failing; I fear I may soon go blind.
Not that there’s much worth seeing anyway.

by nethcev! September 10, 2006

Alcohol

Man’s most misunderstood culinary achievement.

Alcohol can be found in countless things that makes your day either better or worse.

by nethcev! August 21, 2006

Joke

Like matchsticks of humor, jokes, when kept dry, ignite flames of laughter.

"It was just a joke!"

by nethcev! August 26, 2006

grades

Either a letter, check mark, or numerical percentage, awarded to students to serve as an arbitrary means of evaluating one’s academic performance regarding various scholarly subjects and thus assessing one’s comparative worth against his/her pupils. Grades originated out of social necessity through individuals who were too stupid to recognize whether or not someone had any intellectual value without a universal standard to measure by.

The most stupid example of grades is the minus/plus system, which penalizes the achievers and rewards the slackers.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

hypocrite

A title given to one who has found Jesus.

If you would like an example of a hypocrite, odds are you need only look in the mirror.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Astronomy

A scientific study for those who seek to understand the intricate ways of other worlds and galaxies because they’ve given up trying to fathom the ways of this one.

"I didn’t see this coming when I left Kansas for the Windy City. At the time I was in college, Loyola University, majoring in astronomy. Why astronomy? Simple, there wasn’t anything on Earth that could motivate me enough to go to an 8 AM class on a half-way regular basis."

My Keys to Success
Published in Crosscurrents Magazine 2006

by nethcev! August 20, 2006

Anthropology

Sociology for the long since deceased.

"It's hard to find a job when your major is in anthropology."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006