mtf's definitions

Ghetto Croutons

Seen at your typical road-side diner or coffee shop: crushing a pack of saltine crackers still in the wrapper, then carefully opening the pack and sprinkling the bits and crumbs over your greens. This is generally done after a light dusting of pepper and dressing has been added to your side salad.

Customer to Waitress:
Flo, you seem to have forgotten the imported, seasoned bread croutons atop my mixed green salad.

Waitress to Customer:
Jerome, have you lost your damn mind? This ain't no fine-dining establishment! Grab your ass some of them saltine crackers at the table and leave me alone fool.

Customer to Waitress:
Don't try to pass them Ghetto Croutons off on me!

by MTF February 15, 2009

iPhone 4

"The" Smart Phone. Apple re-invents itself. Again. This newest creation is being made available to the public on June 24, 2010. The "new" iPhone is faster, thinner, and prettier than its predecessors. The "4" features a new stainless steel and glass design. It has integrated antennas that promise to improve reception on Wi-Fi and 3G wireless networks, and it boasts a second video camera on the front that will permit video calling.

Overheard:

The iPhone 4 is going to change the "smart phone" world as we know it.

You could very well be right.

by MTF June 17, 2010

Barack-In-The-Box

A novelty toy item released just days after Barack Obama being sworn in as 44th President of the United States. Simply turn a handle on the side of the box, hear the tune "Hail to The Chief", and "POP", there's Barack, a caricature of the new president grinning ear to ear!

Kid 1:
Hey, wanna play with my new Barack-In-The-Box?
Kid 2:
That ain't new, it's just an old Jack-In-A-Box. What did Barack do with Jack? Anyway, let's play!

by MTF January 22, 2009

oral sex

Mouth to genital stimulation. Also referred to as "fellatio"- when done to a male, and "cunnilingus" when done to a female.

Example 1: Dick had oral sex with Jane. Jane had oral sex with Dick. (i.e. Dick's Dick. Pun intended).

Example 2: Jane was able perform cunnilingus on herself, much to Dick's surprise, curiosity, and delight. Quite a scene! (Jane was a contortionist and gymnast.)

by MTF January 26, 2010

Minuscule

Very small or tiny.

An atom is minuscule. Depending upon your perception, the earth, solar system, or our known galaxy, could look minuscule from far away.

by MTF October 1, 2008

Object Sexual

A person who deeply loves inanimate objects; also known asObjectum Sexual. Only 40 of these people are known of in the world, and all are women who are said to have found each other through the Internet. The vast majority of people who have this have a form ofAsperger's, a syndrome which can inhibit social behavior. A woman in Sweden is married to theBerlin Wall, another woman from the U.S. is married to theEiffel Tower. A facination with large-scale engineering structures seem to be common: bridges, buildings, and landmarks- i.e. theBrooklyn Bridge, and theEmpire State Building.

Onlooker #1-
Why is that woman hugging and kissing the bridge?

Onlooker #2-
She is an Object Sexual and finds comfort in loving a non-human object.

Onlooker #1-
You have to be f'ing kidding me!

by MTF March 17, 2009

Radio Station Withdrawal

A heart-felt feeling of sadness occuring when a long-listened to radio station suddenly changes formats, and with little or no warning, your regularly listened to programing entertainment is gone.

A sure sign of tough economic times, after many years, 97.1 Free FM in Los Angeles switched formats from Talk Radio to Top 40. Gone are my daily favorites such as Adam Carolla in the morning, and Tom Leykis in the afternoon. I felt that these DJ entertainers were like family to me after listening to their programs for years. I am feeling depression and anxiety since I can't get my daily fix, something I can only describe as Radio Station Withdrawal.

by MTF February 27, 2009