kofi's definitions

Essex girl

a "common" (or very common) girl, not very bright, both overdressed (in cheap jewellery and tacky fashion) and underdressed (displaying her assets), always materialistic (loves shopping), likes drinking heavily (alcopops will do), and fucks indiscriminately and like a bunny, preferably with guys with a bit of money and claahhhss, but after a few drinks ... well, has to ask her best mate "Who WAS that guy I was with last night, 'Chelle?"

Fred: I heard you scored last night.
Rob: Yeah, just an Essex girl though. What about you?
Fred: Just went home.
Rob: Oh yeah, I forgot Trish is an Essex girl too!

by kofi May 12, 2003

hizz house

Saying what's up to yuor friends or It can mean somebody or something is cool

What's happening in the hizz house my brother for sho

That's awesome in the hizz house

by Kofi July 26, 2004

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003

shag

can mean rough tobacco, or else amateur beach-style dancing in the US. But in the main UK sense, as noun or verb, is an alternative to "fuck" ... but with a slight, important difference of effect. To some ears, "fuck" (like "bang") can sound like an aggressive act, and/or violent conquest, whereas "shag" (a softer sound) sounds more like an enjoyable fun activity. "Shag" is still often the preferred term among women who are very keen on "shagging", very much enjoy shagging men (and/or women) and getting shagged themselves. But don't so much want to get "fucked" (though if talking about another woman, especially a rival, it may well be a different story!). (Note also: "fucking" can also suggest "meddling" or "cheating", "fucked" is also associated with "broken" or "finished", "had it" - "shagged" is used simply to mean "very tired" .... one more reason for the preference by some people for "shag" over "fuck"!)

Tracy to Sharon at a party: "Don't know about you ge-ww, but I need a good stiff shag right away".
Sharon: Yeah, so do I, but steer clear of that Darren, Trace, he just fucks ge-wws an' leaves 'em on their arses!
Tracy (eyes lighting up): Oh yeah? Which one's him then, Shazz?
Sharon (laughs out loud): Come on ge-ww, surely even YOU can do better than DARREN, ya randy little slag?!!!

by kofi May 14, 2003

troilism

Formal (pompous or discreet) Greek word for a threesome. Minimalist group sex.

Before the examination, I admitted to my doctor I'd had another threesome a couple of weeks back. "Ah, another case of troilism", he smiled. "No, doc, I wasn't experimenting - I've done it before...."

by kofi June 30, 2003

saucy

cheeky, fresh or brash (saucy is also heard as "sassy"), often also with strong overtones of sex. (No doubt an obvious link of sauce with sexual activity plays a part in this ....)

1. That new guy in your office was very saucy to me this morning ...
2. The "Carry On" films are classics of saucy English humour

by kofi May 9, 2003

callgirl

(British): woman working either as an escort, at the higher end of the sex industry, or as a sex worker, prostitute, at its bottom end.

"Don't you dare call ME a callgirl, you asshole .... I DON'T do this just for the money, you know!"

by kofi May 14, 2003