hansonpaulsey's definitions

Bloom

Verb: The act of having explosive diarrhea and accidentally getting feces on your balls; the act of defecating on someone else's balls in order for them to be pleasured by the act.

"Damn. After that Chipotle we ate last night, I ended up accidentally blooming. My balls looked like they were dipped in chocolate."

"Sandy bloomed on my balls last night before sex. The warmth turned me on to no end."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Virgin Mary Jane

Noun: A person who is smoking marijuana for the first time, usually followed by excessive coughing and a repeating statement of "I'm so high."

The Virgin Mary Jane began eating all of my pizza rolls and kept saying "I'm so high."

That pussy only took one hit.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

A Snappy Cassy

For a girl to let out a vaginal flatulent or "quiff" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Spicy Michael" when a guy farts into someone's mouth.

"Kayla gave a snappy cassy to her ex-boyfriend after he fell asleep at the party. He woke up humiliated, scarred, and possibly the most turned off by a girl he had ever been."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen

Phrase: Used sarcastically in reply after someone tells you a personal story that was overall stupid, uninteresting and hard to follow;

said in order to imply that the story would only be funny if you were there to witness/experience

Person 1: "... Then the girl was all like "At least I didn't do this and such!" and then I was like "No, you don't get it like that. It's like this you bitch! HAHA!" It was seriously so funny, like you have no idea!"
Person2: "Wow that is The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen."

by hansonpaulsey November 15, 2009

619

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner.

609 is the same as a 619, but with a more chubby partner in the middle.

"Last night, my girlfriend and I 69nd for the first time."
"Big deal. Last night, me, your girlfriend and your mom 619nd."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

Freeload Party

Noun: A house party where in order to get in you have to either bring your own booze (BYOB) or pay the host to drink; usually done by trading off the rights to have a party at the host's house as long as he or she gets profit or free alcohol/substances in the process.

Antonym: Gatsby Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It's better than just sitting around here."
"I don't know, is there going to be alcohol?"
"Yeah dude! Well, no... Only if you bring it yourself or you pay someone to drink theirs."
"So you're saying it's a freeload party..."
"Yeeeaaah..."
"Then no, those are fucking lame."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Sleeping Drill

The act of masturbating before going to sleep;
usually done in order to fall asleep faster and more relaxed;
the "sleeping pill" drill.

"I was on a horrible sleeping schedule all summer and now that school starts tomorrow, I'll have to perform a "sleeping drill" in order to fall asleep at a decent time tonight."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009