25 definitions by cut the cards

Beth: I will always love you, but I think it's best we break up. We can still be friends though.

Roger: OK I guess. It's you, not me. Would you still bend for a friend here and there ?
by cut the cards November 24, 2022
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Relatives that wear old reeking sweaters that smell like cigarettes.
Mabel: How do you like my vintage Christmas sweater I have not washed for decades ?

Junior: It's nice.

Mabel: I am taking a smoke break I will be right back. We will be reeking around the Christmas tree soon.
Junior: Thanks for the warning.
by cut the cards December 19, 2022
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When you run a playing card through your crack then give somebody the business with it.
Greg: I gave my girlfriend the card trick when she fell asleep last night. She was mad, it woke her up out of a dead sleep when I waved it under her nose. She deserved it though.
by cut the cards August 3, 2022
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Mike: That gal you picked up last night just left when you were in the shower.
Harvey: Thanks.

Mike: You sure can pick em. She was a big gal.

Harvey: I know, when I woke up out of my stupor I saw her underwear on the floor. I thought I left my window open and a parachute landed through the window. Never again, man.
by cut the cards January 25, 2023
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Jill: There's a Chinese balloon headed our way.

Joe: No worries, I will go down on the beach and flash the landing pad for it to land on.

Jill: Good idea. Maybe it is dropping off our cash too.
by cut the cards February 5, 2023
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That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows
Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.
by cut the cards March 8, 2023
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Somebody with huge nostrils
Donnie: That girl at the end of the bar looks pretty cute.
Ronnie: I walked by on the way to the can, she has a real pair of twin barrels.

Donnie: She's getting her fair share of free air then I guess.
by cut the cards January 23, 2023
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