cockjuggling thundercunt's definitions

Warpaint Cumshot

To explode the most powerful load into the face of some poor unsuspecting prey, the result should end with cum drenched in the victims entire face, and every facial orifice, seriously, in the eyebrows, hair, nostrils, eyeballs, everywhere.

Chick:"Give it to me!!!"

Guy:". . . ok!"

*SPLOOOOSHH!

Chick: "WTF WAS THAT?!?! I ALMOST DROWNED!!!"

Dude: " ahhhhhh Warpaint cumshot baby."

by cockjuggling thundercunt January 12, 2010

Smash Testicle

The everlasting glowing sphere of fiery power that can sometimes be sequestered from a crate, barrel or will occasionally burst from the womb of the universe. Some go there whole lives without ever seeing the elusive bright shine that can drive even the most lowly knave to supreme glory. Its origins date back to ancient times, (Jan 31 2008). Its raw energy derived from the NUTSACK OF CHUCK NORRIS, shooting from his throbbing urethra, the energy shot forth into the bowels of the universe's cunthole. It gestated for countless millenia waiting for the opportune moment to blast through and reveal its supreme power in a display of unparalleled awesomeness. Gaining the power of the deceptive orb requires cunning, skill, stamina, endurance, luck and pure testosterone. It may last only for a moment, but for that brief instant... you are god.

Nadsack: no... dont get it...

Dude: Im gonna get it!!! IM gonna get the smash testicle!!!!!!!

Nadsack: NOOoOOo!!!

Dude: YES! I GOT IT!

Nadsack: *blown away in blinding light AAAUAHAUAGAHAAGH!!!!

Dude:....I love this game.

by cockjuggling thundercunt October 13, 2009

Pinewood Derby Car

An easily attainable wooden block used for boyscout races. Or self taught physics classes.
Locations where you can find them:
K-Mart, Wal Mart, McDonalds, CVS, Walgreens, Publix, BJ's, Sams, Costco, Petco, Borders, Barnes and Noble, Piggly Wiggly, Lowes, Home Depot, Burger King, Olive Garden, Busch Gardens, Spencers, Hollister, Goodwill, Beefs, Moes, Shanes Rib Shack, Quiznos, Subway, Sears, Cuck E Cheese, Dentists Office, Verizon, AA meetings, Sushi Bars, The Gym, The YMCA, Urologist, Suntrust, Gynecologist, Wendy's, Dicks sporting goods, Five Guys, Auntie Annies, Sonic, Blockbuster, Smoothie King, Ben n Jerrys, Starbucks, The Movie Theatre, Winn Dixie, Virgin Megastore, Nike Store, Walmart.com, Amazon.com, Ebay, Burlington Coat Factory, ABC Liqour, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, The Beach, Sunglass Hut, Bowling alleys, Hallmark, Taco Bell, Denny's, DQ, Arby's Captian D's, Long John Silvers, Apple Store, iTunes, Best Buy, Ford dealers, BMW, and GMC dealerships, The Barber Shop, Krusty Burger, Super Cuts, ROTC Buildings, Vending Machines, Garbage Cans, inside fish, in your garden, in your yard, Office Depot, Staples, In your kyphs, Target, Juice Zone, Orange Groves, The Grand Canyon, Ellis Island, the Eiffel Tower, the Great Pyramids, The Great Wall of china, in txt messages, UPS, FedEx, Chilis, Applebees, Nordstrom, Dillards, PacSun, Macaroni Grill, Champs, I sell them!

Nadsack: I cant find a friggin pinewood derby car!

Jon: Really? I got mine at CVS! they also sell them at ( insert blank from above)

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 23, 2009

classturbation

To be in a class so boring that you take your non-dominant ( or dominant) hand and reach into your pants pocket and proceed to stimulate your genitals.

Matt: Dude that class was so boring, I just classturbated the whole time.

Nadsack: Me too. Classturbation helps with my tourettes.

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 21, 2009

farmville

The absolute worst, most unappealing, downright stupid, idiotic, mind numbing, horrendous, dick-limping, vagina-drying, waste of time humanly possible. This sad excuse for an online game represents how far mankind has fallen, and shows just how severe peoples dumbness can be. How someone can find such a chore like FARMING so entertaining is laughable. So many lives are wasted everyday when people go and play this shit stained program on their facebook profiles. Some even have the audacity to speak of this wretched atrocity, gloating about how useless they are and how great their farm looks. This ends up disturbing the lives of the majority of the population who actually matter (the people who dont play farmville). Farmville is the kind of bad habit that can destroy life-long friendships or end a marriage, the hate inducing game is so downright awful, people go so far as to plot the murder of those who play it, which is understandable. When it comes to the future of the human race, all the addicts who believe there are part of something popular when playing farmshit, will hopefully be killed off by natural selection. While the rest of the people in the world, who deserve to live, are out living their lives continue to procreate, all of the inept addicts who are busy locked up by their computers playing farmfuck will slowly make the world a better place, right before they get to harvest that last goddamn crop, by dying.

Example 1

Guy(winner): Hey, just got off the phone with 100 hot horny girls, they want us to come over to their place! Lets go!!!

Nadsack(loser): Can't, I'm playing Farmville, waiting to harvest my crops.

Example 2
Guy(winner): Hey man, I'm soo sorry your family died in that plane crash.

Nadsack(loser): I DONT CAAAAAAAARRRRREEEE!!!! I GOTTA CHECK MY CROPS!!!

by cockjuggling thundercunt November 3, 2009

nutshoved

To receive (or give) an extreme uppercut, similar to a falcon punch, directly into the ballsack and ending up with either one or both testicles lodged up within the abdomen. The reversal of this process could take days or even weeks, all dependent on how big the nutshovers biceps were. Until the said testicles descend, the victim in a constant condition that is a.k.a NUTSHOVED.

Nadsack: Dude, u still nutshoved?

Matt: Yeah... B nutshoved me a week ago.

Nadsack: I wanna get nutshoved too!

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 23, 2009

premenstrual

To be in an obnoxiously bitchy and uncompromisable state for no apparent reason. It can effect both males and females, if is a female, the only socially acceptable thing to do is to simply tune out any unnecessary jabber that might be escaping the premenstrual bitches noise hole. If male, however is acceptable to comment on the size, and/or visibility of their newly attained vagina.

Bitch: "I hate this! Today sucks! I hated Wall-E!"

Dude:" ...mhm...whatever you say..."

or

Male bitch/ Nadsack:" Im so bored, Im friggin hungry, wake up already! Feed me!"

Dude: "Hey, don't be so premenstrual, I can see ur vagina from here."

by cockjuggling thundercunt June 22, 2009