cockjuggling thundercunt's definitions

apus history

One of the most ridiculously difficult, most fucking aggravating and profoundly anal retentive classes ever to be conceived by a devil worshiping baby eater. It alone can bring down an honor role student to virtually failing grades, anybody who gets a fraction of a point above above a 79% in this class and has the audacity to state that it is easy, or complains about their grade, has the choice to either literally drive 16 ford f350's directly into their tight pink virgin, soon to be bleeding, assholes, or rip out their sexual organs and sell them on eBay for no more that $1.35.

Bum: Spare some change??

Pedestrian: Why didn't you finish high school ya lazy bum?

Bum: I took apus history.

Pedestrian: ...how much do you need?

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 22, 2009

Warpaint Cumshot

To explode the most powerful load into the face of some poor unsuspecting prey, the result should end with cum drenched in the victims entire face, and every facial orifice, seriously, in the eyebrows, hair, nostrils, eyeballs, everywhere.

Chick:"Give it to me!!!"

Guy:". . . ok!"

*SPLOOOOSHH!

Chick: "WTF WAS THAT?!?! I ALMOST DROWNED!!!"

Dude: " ahhhhhh Warpaint cumshot baby."

by cockjuggling thundercunt January 12, 2010

twittling your nutsack

To be in a state of complete and absolute uselessness to any one or anything. No productive action or thought can be sequestered while in this annoying as hell state. Repeatedly dunking one's head into a bucket of rusty razors is more useful to the universe than twittling your nutsack.

Matt: DUDE!, UR MY PARTNER! STOP FUCKING TWITTLING YOUR NUTSACK AND HELP ME WITH OUR PHYSICS BRIDGE PROJECT!

Nadsack:...

Matt: I should have taken the entire class's advice.

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 31, 2009

farmville

The absolute worst, most unappealing, downright stupid, idiotic, mind numbing, horrendous, dick-limping, vagina-drying, waste of time humanly possible. This sad excuse for an online game represents how far mankind has fallen, and shows just how severe peoples dumbness can be. How someone can find such a chore like FARMING so entertaining is laughable. So many lives are wasted everyday when people go and play this shit stained program on their facebook profiles. Some even have the audacity to speak of this wretched atrocity, gloating about how useless they are and how great their farm looks. This ends up disturbing the lives of the majority of the population who actually matter (the people who dont play farmville). Farmville is the kind of bad habit that can destroy life-long friendships or end a marriage, the hate inducing game is so downright awful, people go so far as to plot the murder of those who play it, which is understandable. When it comes to the future of the human race, all the addicts who believe there are part of something popular when playing farmshit, will hopefully be killed off by natural selection. While the rest of the people in the world, who deserve to live, are out living their lives continue to procreate, all of the inept addicts who are busy locked up by their computers playing farmfuck will slowly make the world a better place, right before they get to harvest that last goddamn crop, by dying.

Example 1

Guy(winner): Hey, just got off the phone with 100 hot horny girls, they want us to come over to their place! Lets go!!!

Nadsack(loser): Can't, I'm playing Farmville, waiting to harvest my crops.

Example 2
Guy(winner): Hey man, I'm soo sorry your family died in that plane crash.

Nadsack(loser): I DONT CAAAAAAAARRRRREEEE!!!! I GOTTA CHECK MY CROPS!!!

by cockjuggling thundercunt November 3, 2009

nutshoved

To receive (or give) an extreme uppercut, similar to a falcon punch, directly into the ballsack and ending up with either one or both testicles lodged up within the abdomen. The reversal of this process could take days or even weeks, all dependent on how big the nutshovers biceps were. Until the said testicles descend, the victim in a constant condition that is a.k.a NUTSHOVED.

Nadsack: Dude, u still nutshoved?

Matt: Yeah... B nutshoved me a week ago.

Nadsack: I wanna get nutshoved too!

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 23, 2009

Pinewood Derby Car

An easily attainable wooden block used for boyscout races. Or self taught physics classes.
Locations where you can find them:
K-Mart, Wal Mart, McDonalds, CVS, Walgreens, Publix, BJ's, Sams, Costco, Petco, Borders, Barnes and Noble, Piggly Wiggly, Lowes, Home Depot, Burger King, Olive Garden, Busch Gardens, Spencers, Hollister, Goodwill, Beefs, Moes, Shanes Rib Shack, Quiznos, Subway, Sears, Cuck E Cheese, Dentists Office, Verizon, AA meetings, Sushi Bars, The Gym, The YMCA, Urologist, Suntrust, Gynecologist, Wendy's, Dicks sporting goods, Five Guys, Auntie Annies, Sonic, Blockbuster, Smoothie King, Ben n Jerrys, Starbucks, The Movie Theatre, Winn Dixie, Virgin Megastore, Nike Store, Walmart.com, Amazon.com, Ebay, Burlington Coat Factory, ABC Liqour, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, The Beach, Sunglass Hut, Bowling alleys, Hallmark, Taco Bell, Denny's, DQ, Arby's Captian D's, Long John Silvers, Apple Store, iTunes, Best Buy, Ford dealers, BMW, and GMC dealerships, The Barber Shop, Krusty Burger, Super Cuts, ROTC Buildings, Vending Machines, Garbage Cans, inside fish, in your garden, in your yard, Office Depot, Staples, In your kyphs, Target, Juice Zone, Orange Groves, The Grand Canyon, Ellis Island, the Eiffel Tower, the Great Pyramids, The Great Wall of china, in txt messages, UPS, FedEx, Chilis, Applebees, Nordstrom, Dillards, PacSun, Macaroni Grill, Champs, I sell them!

Nadsack: I cant find a friggin pinewood derby car!

Jon: Really? I got mine at CVS! they also sell them at ( insert blank from above)

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 23, 2009

classturbation

To be in a class so boring that you take your non-dominant ( or dominant) hand and reach into your pants pocket and proceed to stimulate your genitals.

Matt: Dude that class was so boring, I just classturbated the whole time.

Nadsack: Me too. Classturbation helps with my tourettes.

by cockjuggling thundercunt March 21, 2009