chris wheelie's definitions

mohawk

Once, the punkest hairstyle on the planet, adapted and adopted from various native North Americans, including the Huron and Blood tribes. The originators of the mohawk style in punk circles were Wes Beech (of US band Plasmatics) and Rainy (of UK band Discharge). The punks went on to spike their mohawks with soap, eggwhite, glue and hairspray, as the Native Americans had with buffalo grease, before going into battle. A hairstyle which used to guarantee ridicule and abuse from braindead trendies. Since David Beckham's half-arsed style around 2000, the mohawk has become trendy and acceptable, so what's the point?

Now these trendy sheep think a mohawk's cool, I think I'll grow a comb-over instead.

by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

drippy tiddler

The consequence of having a weak willy. The condition which leads to damp patches at inopportune moments.

If it weren't for my drippy tiddler I'd wear beige trousers more often.

by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

Ritz

Apart from crackers, style or wiggers, this word can also be uttered by disappointed or ungrateful persons. It's a simpler way of saying 'big deal', 'so what?', 'Is that all there is?'.

Deek stared with incredulity at the meal set before him. In the dead centre of a plate, the size of a small coffee table, lay one solitary dod of potato salad.
"Ritz", he rumbled.

by chris wheelie April 30, 2005

Punk

A late 20th century phenomenum. The greatest, most earth-shaking popular culture since rock'n'roll. Musically, an natural evolution of folk/protest music. For the people, by the people, an accessable documentaion of modern times. Genuine eccentricity for the modern age, lampooning all trends before it and sticking two fingers up to a confused and plastic world.

The Bus Station Loonies.
Ruptured Ambitions.
Dick Lucas.
Vivian Stanshall.
Ian Dury.
John Peel.
Punk is punk is punk is punk.
There is no authority but yourself.
Do anything you wanna do.

by Chris Wheelie July 18, 2008

Spasm

From the mid to late 1970s. When a person has eaten their fill of a meal, their body creates an inner shudder at the thought of a further mouthful.

"Would you care for a wafer-thin mint, Mr. Kreosote?"
"No thanks you, I've just had a spasm, I couldn't eat another thing".

by chris wheelie April 21, 2005

felcher

Birmingham, circa 1994.
Became a nickname to which I have been cursed, not due to my practising said 'art', but through an innocent mispronounciation of my surname. I'm stuck with it.

Man: (at door of concert): "I've come to see Chris..."
Woman: (on door) "Chris who?"
Man: "Erm... Chris.... Felcher??"

by chris wheelie April 21, 2005

Bibby

A childish term for a hideous cherub or picture of a sickly-sweet baby or seraph. The sort that puts you off your meal.

"Yuch! I don't want to eat my sanwdwich in the Cistine Chapel, it's too full of Bibbies".

by chris wheelie April 21, 2005