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Yet Another Josh Cohen's definitions

farts per million

A measure of the stinkiness of a fart, it refers to how much of the "million" parts of air are replaced by farticles.

A fart with higher fpm is stinkier.
"Aww, dude, did you just break wind?"

"It's okay, it was only a few farts per million. You won't even notice."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen May 14, 2008
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bopsa

Bunch Of People Standing Around -- usually a good descriptor for still shots of political rallies, protest marches, and concert audiences.
Someone sent me a bunch of pics for the website, but most were BOPSA and I couldn't use them.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen October 5, 2007
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viking funeral

An overblown, overpriced funeral for a public figure -- such as a musician, politician, actor, or athlete -- that is vastly disproportionate to how much attention s/he needed to receive.
Peter: "Hey, did you see Paris speaking at the Michael Jackson funeral?"

Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
by Yet Another Josh Cohen July 14, 2009
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safe call

1. An outgrowth of the BDSM safeword, by which you arrange with a friend before meeting someone new that you'll call him/her at a certain time. If your friend receives this call, all is well. If your friend does NOT receive this call, it is the friend's sworn duty to call the police and report a problem. Very popular in a world where you meet someone from the internet who might be crazy.

2. A friend you can call when you want to evoid someone else. You can literally call and start a conversation mid-stream, and your friend knows what you're doing and plays along.
1. Herbert, you'll have to uncuff me so I can make my safe call.

2. It may sound weird when Susan's on the phone, but that's because I'm her safe call.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen October 28, 2005
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standard cycle

The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.

If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.

Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.

Dude 1: Your wife sucks.

Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
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yogurt spooge

The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.
Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?

Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009
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ass-to-pants ratio

The percentage number that indicates how nice someone's ass looks inside their pants, shorts, bathing suit, skirt, dress, or underwear. The closer to 100%, the better that ass looks. May be abbreviated as ATP.
"Denise always buys the pants that make her butt look perfect. Every day, she's got a 100% ass-to-pants ratio."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 9, 2007
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