Definitions by Yet Another Josh Cohen
standard cycle
The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
standard cycle by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
viking funeral
An overblown, overpriced funeral for a public figure -- such as a musician, politician, actor, or athlete -- that is vastly disproportionate to how much attention s/he needed to receive.
Peter: "Hey, did you see Paris speaking at the Michael Jackson funeral?"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
viking funeral by Yet Another Josh Cohen July 14, 2009
genre twist
The "twist ending" that pervades science fiction, horror, mystery, and fantasy writing, television, or film -- basically, anything that might get the label "genre". The classic example is that Bruce Willis was dead the entire time.
Marlene: Hey, did you watch Criminal Minds last week?
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
genre twist by Yet Another Josh Cohen April 27, 2009
facebook singing
The practice of, when you see a song lyric on Facebook or another social networking website, singing the next lyric. Usually someone will add a third, then a fourth, and so on.
(originally coined by Sethual Chocolate)
(originally coined by Sethual Chocolate)
Jeff Smith says I believe I can fly
John Jones says I believe I can touch the sky
Kim German says I think about it every night and day
Phyllis Seymour wants to spread my wings and fly away
Andrew Rickenbacker just doesn't understand all this facebook singing.
John Jones says I believe I can touch the sky
Kim German says I think about it every night and day
Phyllis Seymour wants to spread my wings and fly away
Andrew Rickenbacker just doesn't understand all this facebook singing.
facebook singing by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 30, 2009
yogurt spooge
The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.
Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
yogurt spooge by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009
prius tetris
When driving a Prius, you can view a bar-graph of your fuel consumption over the past 30 minutes. A "prius tetris" is when you go five consecutive minutes (or more) at 99.9 miles per gallon. This shows on your bar-graph as a long, straight bar, similar to the four-high bars in Tetris.
prius tetris by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 10, 2009
youtube fight
When someone in your office watches a video on YouTube that is silly or strange and you try to respond and top them, you have started a YouTube fight.
"I'll see your Banana Splits and raise you a Jem and the Holograms."
"Dude, I'm busy. No time for a YouTube fight."
"Poop."
"Dude, I'm busy. No time for a YouTube fight."
"Poop."
youtube fight by Yet Another Josh Cohen February 25, 2009