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Well, shit.'s definitions

blue balls tease

a form of sexual torture when a lady has sex with a dude and stops right before he orgasms, leaving him with blue balls syndrome.
Ethan was pulled into his girlfriend’s apartment and was tugged onto the bed. They performed foreplay, then Ethan started eating her out. His girlfriend returned the favour by giving him a blowjob. Ethan felt immense pleasure and his breathing became uneven. Then he was right about to orgasm when she pulled out.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

Ethan was naked, wanting more.

“C’mon, gimme more!

“No.”

“Just finish the job!”

Ethan was promptly kicked out, naked on the street. He then felt a swelling sensation on his balls. It felt as all circulation was cut off. He grasped his balls in pain and doubled over. His balls bragged across the pavement as he tried crawling away. He is a victim to the blue balls tease.
by Well, shit. January 17, 2018
mugGet the blue balls teasemug.

masturbate

To stimulate the genitals for a jolt of pleasure (orgasm).
John wanted to masturbate, so he clicked on the computer in the darkly lit room. He typed “porn hub” into the search bar and took off his jeans. He quickly took off his boxers and let his dick feel the fresh air. He clicked the most popular result and started watching the porn.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.

He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.
by Well, shit. December 21, 2017
mugGet the masturbatemug.

blowjob

Sucking sensation on the penis for an orgasm.
Matt heard his mom shut the door behind her. He raced to the utility closet and got out the vacuum cleaner. He quickly took off his pants and boxers. His penis felt the fresh air. Matt had a boner. He plugged in the vacuum and switched it on.

He jammed his dick and ballsack into the nozzle and felt it suck. The setting was in the middle. He felt pleasure throughout his body. The blowjob felt amazing. He moaned and groaned. His penis became heavily coated with precum. He felt the head become heavy and swollen.

He let out a moan as he released jizz all inside the nozzle. Pleasure tingled in his cock. His penis let out lots of cum. He then decided to put it on maximum. It was so good. His cock and ballsack were covered with jizz and he loved the hard suck.

He became flaccid, and the vacuum cleaner was still sucking, so Matt went to switch it off. He was too far from the switch, so he tried taking out his penis. The vacuum cleaner was too strong. His balls started to ache. His penis was being stretched so much, it hurt. Cold air rushed and hit his balls. His genitals were being sucked on so hard, they were stuck. He fell to the ground, unable to get up.

He was stuck for about an hour now, and his balls were hurting so bad. His dick was numb and flaccid. He was trapped in the blowjob. His testicles were red and blotchy. His genitals were droopy and semen covered. The vacuum cleaner didn’t stop sucking. It even felt as it sucked harder every minute.
by Well, shit. December 23, 2017
mugGet the blowjobmug.

Blue Balls Bailout

When a close friend has sex with someone - but only to cure their blue balls.
David had extreme blue balls. He couldn’t even sit down from the excruciating pain. “C’mon, Joe,” David asked his roommate. “You gotta give me the Blue Balls Bailout!” Joe had agreed only because David had given him some bing on Thursday. David sat down in a chair, naked. He spread his legs and Joe bent over. Joe began stroking his dick until it became hard and when it did, Joe started sucking him off. His balls jiggled from the hard succ and he had cummed. Joe spat out the cum. Joe put his clothes back on but David didn’t. “Maybe we could try anal?” David said.
by Well, shit. January 18, 2018
mugGet the Blue Balls Bailoutmug.

teabag

The procedure of dipping one’s testicles into one’s mouth in an up and down motion.
Secretly gay Devin stood on top of his best friend Harold, who was asleep. He dipped his balls in and out. His saliva lubricated his testicles and it felt so good. Devin accidentally slipped, and his entire ballsack went in his mouth. He tried getting back up, but it was too hard. Harold then started biting. It hurt like hell, squatting naked with pain spreading throughout his balls.
His cock lay across Harold’s neck and Harold’s cat who slept on Harold’s bed woke up. The cat looked at his cock and started to scratch it. Harold bit harder, making Devin hard. This went on for the entire night. Devin vowed to never teabag again.
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
mugGet the teabagmug.

cumsplosion

An enormous amount of jizz to come out during masturbation or sex.
Carl was jerking off to some porn when he finally cummed. A hot load of jizz coated everything in front of him, a cumsplosion. He didn’t stop though. The stream of hot jizz didn’t look like it was about to stop. The stream kept coming. Carl tried to stop it by holding his dick tight but it hurt like hell. He stepped out of his chair and it still rushed out. The dripping stream didn’t stop. He tried putting on pants but filled up with cum. He went out naked. He bravely stepped out of his house to try and get help but then the door locked behind him. His cock dripped with cum faster and faster. His raging boner was rock hard. He then saw his crush walking toward him.
by Well, shit. January 18, 2018
mugGet the cumsplosionmug.

CBT

Cock and ball torture - a fetish for pain inflicted on the male genitalia or just for torture.
Andrew woke up completely nude, in a van. He was tied up and ball-gagged, something felt wrong. He looked down and his testicles were connected to some kind of contraption. It had the label “CBT Machinery” on it. Someone walks into the van. Andrew is tied onto a leash. The person switches the machine on. Instantly, pain is delivered to Andrew’s balls. Blood seeps out, pain shivering throughout his body.
Andrew is knocked out again, only to wake up in a room. The room is pitch black with the only light coming from the exit. He is handcuffed to a roof pipe and his feet tied together. The person walks up with a three pound weight, with a string attached to it. The person ties it around his balls, and let’s go. He tries screaming, but he is ballgagged. He is knocked over the head with a plank.
He wakes up with a metal casing around his cock. It is firm and strong. He is tied in a chair, bolted to the ground. The casing is connected to a contraption, slowly wheeling in. It stretches his cock, creating immense pain. Tears fill his eyes, and more blood seeps out.
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
mugGet the CBTmug.

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