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Well, shit.'s definitions

Damn girl,

The start of a really cheesey pick-up line.
*Damn girl,* are you from Tennessee? Well you’re the only ten year old I see!
*Damn girl,* did you fall from heaven? Because you look like your face broke in eighteen places.
*Damn girl,* I just lost my phone number, and my social security details.
*Damn girl,* do you have an oxygen mask? Because I’m FUCKING DYING
*Damn girl,* I’m new here, can you give me directions to the nearest AA meeting?
*Damn girl,* if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put D, I, C, K, and S together.
*Damn girl,* is it hot in here, or is it just climate change?
*Damn girl,* are you tired? Because I slashed your tires.
*Damn girl,* lucky I have my library card so I can slit your neck!
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
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Blue Balls Bailout

When a close friend has sex with someone - but only to cure their blue balls.
David had extreme blue balls. He couldn’t even sit down from the excruciating pain. “C’mon, Joe,” David asked his roommate. “You gotta give me the Blue Balls Bailout!” Joe had agreed only because David had given him some bing on Thursday. David sat down in a chair, naked. He spread his legs and Joe bent over. Joe began stroking his dick until it became hard and when it did, Joe started sucking him off. His balls jiggled from the hard succ and he had cummed. Joe spat out the cum. Joe put his clothes back on but David didn’t. “Maybe we could try anal?” David said.
by Well, shit. January 18, 2018
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ho

Someone who will have sex with anyone, in hopes of making them either popular or money.
Amber felt horny at school. She excused herself to the bathroom and masturbated. She felt more and more wet. The bi school ho burst through the door. She saw Amber and drunkenly said “HELLOoOOoOoO horny!” Before Amber could react, she grabbed her and dragged her to the abandoned library.

She greedily ripped off of all Amber’s clothing and started making out with her. She stole some handcuffs (her sugar daddy was a police officer) and handcuffed both her hands to a railing. She heard the class bell ring and she took out some vibrators. She slid one in Amber’s ass, her screaming with pain. Tears filled her eyes. She then fit one in her cunt. Then she left her there.

During the night, she squirmed and moaned with her horny pussy dripping. She cummed eleven times that night. The next morning, the ho came back. She massaged her boobs and kept the dildos in her. The ho ate her out and Amber freaked out. This went on for two weeks.
by Well, shit. April 23, 2018
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balls deep

When the penis is so far in the vagina, the balls are the only thing on the surface.
Rob kept thrusting till his testicles hit her ass. He was balls deep and kept thrusting, but only with much more force.
by Well, shit. December 23, 2017
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teabag

The procedure of dipping one’s testicles into one’s mouth in an up and down motion.
Secretly gay Devin stood on top of his best friend Harold, who was asleep. He dipped his balls in and out. His saliva lubricated his testicles and it felt so good. Devin accidentally slipped, and his entire ballsack went in his mouth. He tried getting back up, but it was too hard. Harold then started biting. It hurt like hell, squatting naked with pain spreading throughout his balls.
His cock lay across Harold’s neck and Harold’s cat who slept on Harold’s bed woke up. The cat looked at his cock and started to scratch it. Harold bit harder, making Devin hard. This went on for the entire night. Devin vowed to never teabag again.
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
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milk raped

When a woman sticks her breast forcefully in someone’s mouth and the victim has to “milk” her.
milk raped.

Dean was strapped to the chair. He was blindfolded and naked, and couldn’t move. The abandoned warehouse was Dean’s new home. Somebody walked in, and stuck her boob in his mouth. His sounds were muffled and it only pleasured the woman more. He felt something penetrated his ass and thrust in and out, tearing it. He felt a cock enter his mouth and he was forced to suck it of. The man had cummed in his mouth and was forced to swallow. They all left the room, but little did Dean know, he was being used as a male hooker.
by Well, shit. May 4, 2018
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cumsplosion

An enormous amount of jizz to come out during masturbation or sex.
Carl was jerking off to some porn when he finally cummed. A hot load of jizz coated everything in front of him, a cumsplosion. He didn’t stop though. The stream of hot jizz didn’t look like it was about to stop. The stream kept coming. Carl tried to stop it by holding his dick tight but it hurt like hell. He stepped out of his chair and it still rushed out. The dripping stream didn’t stop. He tried putting on pants but filled up with cum. He went out naked. He bravely stepped out of his house to try and get help but then the door locked behind him. His cock dripped with cum faster and faster. His raging boner was rock hard. He then saw his crush walking toward him.
by Well, shit. January 18, 2018
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