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Well, shit.'s definitions

snowman sex

A dare/punishment where you must have sex with a snowman, naked. The action may go on for 20-30 minutes.
Jack was playing beer pong at his friend’s house during a snowstorm. Dan, his opponent finished before him. The punishment was snowman sex. Jack stripped down naked, put his clothes on the kitchen table and went outside. The guys locked the door behind Jack so he couldn’t escape. There was a ready-made snowman outside, so he started shallow fucking it. The cold crept up his dick, making it hard. He stuck his entire cock inside the snowman and kept fucking. The guys were taping the whole thing. He then stuck his dick inside the snowman’s mouth and kept fucking. The cold was unbearable. He orgasmed and cummed inside the snowman and kept fucking it for another good twenty minutes. His balls hit the snowman’s hard ass repeatedly. After, his balls were frozen and his dick hard. His entire body was freezing.
by Well, shit. December 23, 2017
mugGet the snowman sexmug.

teabag

The procedure of dipping one’s testicles into one’s mouth in an up and down motion.
Secretly gay Devin stood on top of his best friend Harold, who was asleep. He dipped his balls in and out. His saliva lubricated his testicles and it felt so good. Devin accidentally slipped, and his entire ballsack went in his mouth. He tried getting back up, but it was too hard. Harold then started biting. It hurt like hell, squatting naked with pain spreading throughout his balls.
His cock lay across Harold’s neck and Harold’s cat who slept on Harold’s bed woke up. The cat looked at his cock and started to scratch it. Harold bit harder, making Devin hard. This went on for the entire night. Devin vowed to never teabag again.
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
mugGet the teabagmug.

Damn girl,

The start of a really cheesey pick-up line.
*Damn girl,* are you from Tennessee? Well you’re the only ten year old I see!
*Damn girl,* did you fall from heaven? Because you look like your face broke in eighteen places.
*Damn girl,* I just lost my phone number, and my social security details.
*Damn girl,* do you have an oxygen mask? Because I’m FUCKING DYING
*Damn girl,* I’m new here, can you give me directions to the nearest AA meeting?
*Damn girl,* if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put D, I, C, K, and S together.
*Damn girl,* is it hot in here, or is it just climate change?
*Damn girl,* are you tired? Because I slashed your tires.
*Damn girl,* lucky I have my library card so I can slit your neck!
by Well, shit. April 22, 2018
mugGet the Damn girl,mug.

blowjob

Sucking sensation on the penis for an orgasm.
Matt heard his mom shut the door behind her. He raced to the utility closet and got out the vacuum cleaner. He quickly took off his pants and boxers. His penis felt the fresh air. Matt had a boner. He plugged in the vacuum and switched it on.

He jammed his dick and ballsack into the nozzle and felt it suck. The setting was in the middle. He felt pleasure throughout his body. The blowjob felt amazing. He moaned and groaned. His penis became heavily coated with precum. He felt the head become heavy and swollen.

He let out a moan as he released jizz all inside the nozzle. Pleasure tingled in his cock. His penis let out lots of cum. He then decided to put it on maximum. It was so good. His cock and ballsack were covered with jizz and he loved the hard suck.

He became flaccid, and the vacuum cleaner was still sucking, so Matt went to switch it off. He was too far from the switch, so he tried taking out his penis. The vacuum cleaner was too strong. His balls started to ache. His penis was being stretched so much, it hurt. Cold air rushed and hit his balls. His genitals were being sucked on so hard, they were stuck. He fell to the ground, unable to get up.

He was stuck for about an hour now, and his balls were hurting so bad. His dick was numb and flaccid. He was trapped in the blowjob. His testicles were red and blotchy. His genitals were droopy and semen covered. The vacuum cleaner didn’t stop sucking. It even felt as it sucked harder every minute.
by Well, shit. December 23, 2017
mugGet the blowjobmug.

ho

Someone who will have sex with anyone, in hopes of making them either popular or money.
Amber felt horny at school. She excused herself to the bathroom and masturbated. She felt more and more wet. The bi school ho burst through the door. She saw Amber and drunkenly said “HELLOoOOoOoO horny!” Before Amber could react, she grabbed her and dragged her to the abandoned library.

She greedily ripped off of all Amber’s clothing and started making out with her. She stole some handcuffs (her sugar daddy was a police officer) and handcuffed both her hands to a railing. She heard the class bell ring and she took out some vibrators. She slid one in Amber’s ass, her screaming with pain. Tears filled her eyes. She then fit one in her cunt. Then she left her there.

During the night, she squirmed and moaned with her horny pussy dripping. She cummed eleven times that night. The next morning, the ho came back. She massaged her boobs and kept the dildos in her. The ho ate her out and Amber freaked out. This went on for two weeks.
by Well, shit. April 23, 2018
mugGet the homug.

Blue Balls Bailout

When a close friend has sex with someone - but only to cure their blue balls.
David had extreme blue balls. He couldn’t even sit down from the excruciating pain. “C’mon, Joe,” David asked his roommate. “You gotta give me the Blue Balls Bailout!” Joe had agreed only because David had given him some bing on Thursday. David sat down in a chair, naked. He spread his legs and Joe bent over. Joe began stroking his dick until it became hard and when it did, Joe started sucking him off. His balls jiggled from the hard succ and he had cummed. Joe spat out the cum. Joe put his clothes back on but David didn’t. “Maybe we could try anal?” David said.
by Well, shit. January 18, 2018
mugGet the Blue Balls Bailoutmug.

milk raped

When a woman sticks her breast forcefully in someone’s mouth and the victim has to “milk” her.
milk raped.

Dean was strapped to the chair. He was blindfolded and naked, and couldn’t move. The abandoned warehouse was Dean’s new home. Somebody walked in, and stuck her boob in his mouth. His sounds were muffled and it only pleasured the woman more. He felt something penetrated his ass and thrust in and out, tearing it. He felt a cock enter his mouth and he was forced to suck it of. The man had cummed in his mouth and was forced to swallow. They all left the room, but little did Dean know, he was being used as a male hooker.
by Well, shit. May 4, 2018
mugGet the milk rapedmug.

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