Tochterlieber's definitions

paperwork

Court documents revealing what a prisoner's charges, criminal history, downward departures, etc. are. This is used to determine whether a person is a snitch, child molestor, or other kind of person considered undesirable by other prisoners. The Presentence Investigation Report is the gold standard of paperwork, because it tells everything that the probation officer was able to dig up about the prisoner's life, and details any assistance he may have rendered to the government; but prisoners are often forbidden to have it in their possession for that exact reason. At higher security prisons, people are often expected to show their paperwork within a certain period of time (e.g. a week or a month) or they'll be checked in to protective custody by their fellow prisoners.

"Lemme see your paperwork."

by Tochterlieber March 19, 2014

Floodlikes

When someone floods your notifications with likes of your photos, wall posts, etc.

Thanks for the floodlikes, honey!

by Tochterlieber December 30, 2014

Prisingenuity

A knack for McGyver-like improvisation of tools using the scarce resources available in a prison environment.

"Wow, that's cool how you figured out how to make disposable one-hitters out of ferrules, so we can flush them after each session and not have to keep anything around that could be found if they shake us down."
"Once again, my prisingenuity saves the day."

by Tochterlieber June 30, 2012

noid

To become paranoid (usually temporarily, and often due to the influence of drugs such as cannabis or meth.)

After we smoked out in the parking lot, Kevin started noiding, thinking that someone might have seen us.

by Tochterlieber April 26, 2008

orthosexuality

Orthosexuality is a sexual orientation of being sexually attracted only to sexually mature individuals of the opposite sex, and of the same species.

"Look at that attractive, healthy-looking 18-year-old fellow human of the opposite sex over there! I want to get naked with that individual."
"Why do you flaunt your orthosexuality?"

by Tochterlieber May 3, 2014

Crawlback number

The phone number you use to call up your ex to try to get back together with them.

"So, after your ex told you that you're a failure as a man, that you were a failure as a husband, and that you would've been a failure as a father, you're still going to try to get back together with her? How are you even going to reach her? I thought she blocked you from everything."
"I think I still have her cell in my incoming call history, so I'll just use that as a crawlback number."

by Tochterlieber September 21, 2014

come out of the toy box

To "come out of the tox box" means to admit to being a pedophile.

"James got drunk yesterday and start saying what he most wishes he could do is tap a 7-year-old girl sometime."
"Damn, man, he decided to just come out of the toy box like that to you?"

by Tochterlieber March 23, 2014