Tochterlieber's definitions

Security through apathy

Reliance on nobody caring enough about your account or system to bother trying to hack into it.

"Dude, shouldn't you use a more secure password than 'qwerty' for your Tumblr account?"
"Nah, who would want to bother trying to hack into it? There's no credit card information or anything like that stored in it."
"Security through apathy. I like it!"

by Tochterlieber August 7, 2014

Crawlback number

The phone number you use to call up your ex to try to get back together with them.

"So, after your ex told you that you're a failure as a man, that you were a failure as a husband, and that you would've been a failure as a father, you're still going to try to get back together with her? How are you even going to reach her? I thought she blocked you from everything."
"I think I still have her cell in my incoming call history, so I'll just use that as a crawlback number."

by Tochterlieber September 21, 2014

orthosexuality

Orthosexuality is a sexual orientation of being sexually attracted only to sexually mature individuals of the opposite sex, and of the same species.

"Look at that attractive, healthy-looking 18-year-old fellow human of the opposite sex over there! I want to get naked with that individual."
"Why do you flaunt your orthosexuality?"

by Tochterlieber May 3, 2014

come out of the toy box

To "come out of the tox box" means to admit to being a pedophile.

"James got drunk yesterday and start saying what he most wishes he could do is tap a 7-year-old girl sometime."
"Damn, man, he decided to just come out of the toy box like that to you?"

by Tochterlieber March 23, 2014

acquaintancezone

Where you relegate people whose uninteresting posts clog up your social media feeds because they're in your "friends" circle.

"After about her 20th post this week bragging about her workout routine and the different health shakes she's trying, I had to put her in the acquaintancezone."

by Tochterlieber January 6, 2014

The french wave

A dismissive hand gesture that waves a person away, often impatiently or irritatedly. It is frequently made while not even looking at the person, who is usually someone who unwelcomely interrupted the conversation or activities of the person giving the french wave. A normal wave involves mostly motion of the arms and wrist pivoting from left to right; the french wave mostly involves motion of the fingers (which are held together) back and forth as though to say "shoo."

I tried to talk to him while he was watching soccer, and he gave me the french wave.

by Tochterlieber May 4, 2014

polyqueer

A catchall for polyamorous relationships and attractions with so many nuances that they can't be described in a short sentence such as "it's an open relationship" or "we're swingers" or "I want to have a stable of broads all to myself (i.e. a harem)". If the relationship would be described on Facebook as "it's complicated" then it's probably polyqueer.

"You guys are swingers, right?"
"Actually I'm in a polyqueer, ethically non-monogamous adelphogamous relationship with Jay and his brother Rob, both of whom also are part of a triad with their ambigusweetie Julia, when she is available under the terms of her geographical non-monogamous relationship with her husband Troy, who's serving in Iraq right now."
"Oh. So you're swingers, then?"

by Tochterlieber May 16, 2014