ThunderMummy's definitions

Annapolis

Capital of Maryland. Has many cool attributes despite most of its inhabitants. Many of the people are move ins who have decided that the city should be the model for Stepford wives everywhere. Had a cool working town flavor that is now virtually gone (The Little Campus was replaced by a fucking Irish Bar). Speaking of fucking Irish bars, every vomit reaked doorfront that charges $6 a Harp and thinks it is above Natty Bo calls itself an Irish Bar. They put O' or Mc or OAK in their name and get every 1/32 Irish blood and up motherfucker to pat themselves on the back for coming from someplace else. It is so obnoxious even Bostonians say "dude, too much". Full of fat fucking tourist who fill up the sidewalk as they ooh and aah at the overpriced cheesy nautical shit in the windows or stare at the Laura Ashley window that they could stare at back home. The food is 2/3 shitty as most involves $8 hamburgers, greasy crabcackes with non-Maryland crabmeat, and spoiled shellfish. Used to be cool but now full of pricks with lots of money but no class.

Did you hear, Annapolis just plowed under their last green space to put in a housing tract of McMansions. It is going to be called "Annapolis Greens"

by ThunderMummy November 3, 2005

penny method

Form of birth control in which it is okay to have sex as long as the woman squeezes a penny between her knees.

My parents used the penny method, I have thirteen brothers and sisters.

by ThunderMummy November 11, 2005

wisconsin

Was like Czechoslovakia, that is before communism came to an end, and is now worse. Has nice parts but suffers from childish inferiority complex to Illinois. That is silly, because while Chicago is a fine town, the rest of Illinois is a wasteland.

Hey, it's Wisconsin. It like going to Czechoslovakia, we'll zip in we'll zip out.

by ThunderMummy July 26, 2008

starbucks

Pure example of the power of marketing to people devoid of critical and independent thinking. Coffee chain whose business model is "what if we franchised the Death Star?" and sells millions of cups of coffee a year that tastes like it was brewed through the assholes of musty cadavers. Usually seen being consumed by soccer moms, overprivileged teenagers, and prissy douche bags who move into already gentrified urban heighborhoods but consider themselves edgy and courageous for living in the city. Just like you can get an elephant to fly if you strap a big enough jet engine on its back, Starbucks sells a shitload of coffee by forcing the idea that coffee should be expensive, shitty, and logoed to the above mentioned people.

I used to drink coffee for 60 cents a cup at my favorite diner but it was torn down to put in a Starbucks. If I wanted to drink that shit I'd microwave some rat turds in vinegar.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

gurgle jerk

One of the many names from an early Dave Letterman skit called "Name your baby when you're angry". Includes the names Crib Lizard and Mr. Drips. Can be used in place of the word baby.

Let's get out of the house before the missus sticks us with the gurgle jerk.

by ThunderMummy November 5, 2005

Ape Drape

A hair style related to but distinct from the mullet, hockey hair, Kentucky waterfall, and Cincinnati toupee. The ape drape is defined by its vigorous growth and lack of part. The drape should be shorter in the front but should ease in gracefully to the shoulders without showing any signs of human intervention. In the dim light of an alley, ape drapes should give their owners the silhouette of a mountain gorilla.

I burned all photos of me in eighth grade because I was sporting an ape drape.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

Philadelphia

Probably the most misunderstaood city in the U.S. Those not familiar with the city are usually aware of the Revolutionary history and maybe some unique quirks like cheesesteaks and pretzels. Philadelphia suffers from a bit of red headed stepchild syndrome in that it is a major population center with a unique character but largely goes unrecognized in the American psyche due to the overbearing reputation of nearby New York. The two cities are extremely different and Philadelphians take (sometimes hostile) offense to outsiders who don't bother to understand this. New Yorkers tend to have an arrogance that everything is better in their city. Actually some things are better in Philadelphia. Check it out, just don't mouth off because even though it is the City of Brotherly Love, the inhabitants aren't above giving you a brotherly pop in the mouth.

My girlfriend's folks are coming over to dinner and they have never been to Philadelphia. I guess I'd better get rid of the Schmidt's and invest in some Dockstreet.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005