The Original Slim Bavis's definitions

Pink Socrates

Any individual who uses philosophical debate to persuade someone to sumbit to anal sex. The individual can then perform the "pink sock" manuver wherein the sides of the posterior are struck while something is inserted into the anus. This causes the anus to spasm and "attach" itself to the inserted item. The item is then rapidly removed from the anus causing the rectal lining to be pulled out with it. Hilarity ensues when the item is covered with a nice, new "pink sock".

Yo, man, Salty is the new Pink Socrates. That guy ass-banged two chicks last night and totally pink socked them. Jaime Smith and Darren's mom aren't going to be shitting right for weeks!

by The Original Slim Bavis October 27, 2004

vaginal shoehorn

Any friend who introduces you to hot, slutty women they know in order to bed them.

Yo Luke, thanks for being such a good vaginal shoehorn. I totally nailed Melissa to the wall!

by The Original Slim Bavis November 15, 2003

Crown's Disease

A medical malady where the sufferer constantly has feces nearly protruding from the anus. The poo has yet to be "pinched off" or broken away from the remainder of the turd still inside the rectum. Some call this condition "turtle heading" or simply "crowning" (a reference to the birth process). Much research has gone in to curing this terrible disease but as of now only symptoms can be treated. Such treatments include adult diapers, stool hardeners and stool softeners.

Crown's Disease can effect both undergarment and odor masking budgets for any and all sufferers.

Ultra Dan: Man, I hate those David Garrard commercials where he bitches about his Crohn's Disease. That ain't nothing. I got Crown's Disease.

Salty: That sucks, man, constantly touching cloth. What's your underwear budget for a year?

by The Original Slim Bavis January 8, 2009

It's Rather Hard for a Deaf Woman to Hear an Assassin Coming

A phrase to be implemented, usually from one bloke to another, when a man can overcome the suspect defenses of a witless woman and cajole her into coitus.

Shawn: "Hey man did you make any headway with that Potbelly cashier?"
Slim: "Headway? I totally banged her. It's rather hard for a deaf woman to hear an assassin coming."

by The Original Slim Bavis March 31, 2005

Gin in the Brita

Anytime one thing is replaced with another. Originally invented as an April Fool's Day prank. Water can be removed from any container that holds it and replaced with gin, vodka or any other clear spirit. An unsuspecting person will pour a glass and drink it down. Hopefully that person will spit it out all over their large, heaving breasts or at least go to work at a pet store completely shit-faced.

Customer: "I think that salesperson is drunk!"
Store Mananger: "It's okay miss. His roommate put Gin in the Brita."
Customer: "Wow, Gin in the Brita. Gin in the Brita? Gin in the Brita is a fucked up idea!"
Store Manager: "By Jim!"

by The Original Slim Bavis April 1, 2005

Crown's Disease

A medical malady where the sufferer constantly has feces nearly protruding from the anus. The poo has yet to be "pinched off" or broken away from the remainder of the turd still inside the rectum. Some call this condition "turtle heading" or simply "crowning" (a reference to the birth process). Much research has gone in to curing this terrible disease but as of now only symptoms can be treated. Such treatments include adult diapers, stool hardeners and stool softeners.

Crown's Disease can effect both undergarment and odor masking budgets for any and all sufferers.

Ultra Dan: Man, I hate those David Garrard commercials where he bitches about his Crohn's Disease. That ain't nothing. I got Crown's Disease.

Salty: That sucks, man, constantly touching cloth. What's your underwear budget for a year?

by The Original Slim Bavis January 8, 2009

complete jackass

Any person that adds a new definition to a word in urban dictionary that is the exact same as or is a close approximation of the definitions already there. This can also be a person that decides to give a thumbs up to the myriad un-original entries and definitions in UD while over-looking the genius creations of The Original Slim Bavis.

Slim: Yo, that guy is a complete jackass. He posted a definition of pink sock. The one right before it is the EXACT same.
Dan: What a douche.
Salty: A complete jackass. And, he liked "put it a dually" more than "chicken pants."
Dan: Complete jackass.

by The Original Slim Bavis December 23, 2008