The Original Agahnim's definitions

Kingpin

The one that convinced everyone Spiderman was the bad guy.

The Kingpin wasn't going to tell anyone he was evil, he was going to wear a humanitarian facade and put a mask on everyone else.

by The Original Agahnim October 29, 2021

poseur

Someone that doesn't like their own shit, they like what they think other people would like, so that other people will like them.

Bach von Hitler never liked Nirvana as a kid, she liked Barney the Purple Dinosaur and Lil Kim, but now she's claiming to be a Nirvana fan because her brother she never got along with influenced her taste in music, which is bullshit coming from a poseur's mouth of the south, and trying to draw attention to the gift horse's mouth, as always.

by The Original Agahnim November 22, 2021

Classical

Black people are fucking up classical shit in a way it hasn't been done in a long time if it's been done before.

Black people might be fucking up country music, classical Greek history, and Nascar racing as much as white people fucked up the blues, rap, jazz, and African history, but at least they are getting even, and that's the point isn't it?

by The Original Agahnim December 17, 2021

Adam Lanza

Adam Lanza was quiet and socially awkward. There are too many quiet and socially awkward people in the world, male and female, to make identifying the next Adam Lanza a realistic priority. The one person that could have set the kid free (himself, to free himself from himself) failed to act, failed to tell anyone about who he was, so instead he decided to show the world something else, to take the freedoms and lives of many people in the process.

There are a lot of people with the personality similar to Adam Lanza that never take a life, so trying to give people information about his personality and hope they they will produce another Adam Lanza for you before the act (like Minority Report) is silliness. Everyone is part of the problem, but the kid had to be the one to do the work on himself, not every other person doing the work on him for him.

by The Original Agahnim January 26, 2022

Whitest boy alive

Kind of like the noble savage, there is whitest boy alive, he doesn't exist. There is nobody as shy and naive as the description. People are just people, and the weak one is the one always looking for the weak one to try and walk all over or take advantage of, no matter what they look like.

There is no whitest boy alive any more than there is a blackest boy alive, though you don't hear many black guys arrogant enough to call some guy the blackest boy alive.

by The Original Agahnim December 10, 2021

Cohabit

Something a guy might not want to do with a girl that is always trying to stick him with a fork, a knife, or a shank in his sleep, claiming to have had a dream that he was a killer. You just do the things couples do with her, then you both go home like you don't know each other until tommorrow, that way the guy knows he has a good chance of waking up in one piece if he really wants to stay with her.

If a guy tries to cohabit with the kind of girl that sticks shit in his shoulder overnight, what does he expect to happen besides a short lasting marriage that went South a long time ago, no matter how hard they tried to work on it?

by The Original Agahnim July 9, 2021

Phony

Fake every day of the week.

Everyone has a phony family member that always thinks they are on reality TV (which is the worst name for the kind of TV programming that it describes, as even TV shows and movies are closer to reality than reality TV, even if it's unscripted it's full of fake people and there is nothing to make up for or redeem it from that). The kind of family member that always laughs at everything and everyone, thinks of everything and everyone as hilarious, you always see a family member like that on instagram or one of those other sites with another video of them doing something that wasn't even interesting when they were a kid doing it (such as them with a hula hoop, big fuckin deal) but they think it makes them the most colorful and interesting person in the world (something they must have got from their mother telling them the home videos of them as a kid were awesome when nobody else would tell them that if they ever watched them).

by The Original Agahnim January 9, 2022