Skip to main content

Definitions by The Colonel

Fear of being abducted, or coming in contact with a hostile UFO.
The Colonel interviewed his subjects searching for ufobia in each of their eyes.
ufobia by The Colonel July 22, 2015
A baseball hit on the ground that takes an unexpected, usually sharp bounce upwards.

While any unexpected movement can be considered a bad hop - off to the side or even some unusual spin on the ball - most bad hops "leap up" suddenly just before reaching the player attempting to field it.

The negative ("bad") nature of the term refers to its difficulty to catch (inherent in catching a ball is successfully being able to predict the ball's exact path or trajectory).

Not only are balls which take a bad hop hard to catch, they are often dangerous and can hit a player in the face or upper body.

Bad hops can be caused by dry or wet spots on the grass or dirt, small rocks or weed clumps, or even tiny imperfections or divits on the surface of the ground.
It looked like a routine play, but the ball took a bad hop off the edge of the grass and hit the shortshop in the eye.
Bad Hop by The Colonel October 29, 2007

Gyneconography 

AKA Gynecological Porn. Pornography that focuses on the woman's vagina. This can range from poses where the woman is simply spreading her legs in every image, to extreme closups of, and practically inside, the vagina.
This chick is spreading her pussy lips in every picture. It's full on Gyneconography.
Gyneconography by The Colonel March 1, 2007
A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.
Bob wants to wrap his boxtrap around Neil's jockstrap.
boxtrap by The Colonel May 22, 2006
A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.
After Bob came out of the closet, the first thing he did was buy a white Miata and grow a boxtrap.
Boxtrap by The Colonel May 19, 2006

Flappy Baps

Large, saggy tits. Breasts that flap in the wind.
I used to think Jewel was a hot folk singer with big tits, but after seeing her perform during a NASCAR race, I realized that she's just an Alaskan chick with flappy baps and a snaggletooth.
Flappy Baps by The Colonel February 27, 2006

Chest Puddles 

Large, mushy boobs that melt into wide puddles when the woman lies on her back.
Her rack looked epic when she was in her bra, but as soon as she took it off and lay down on her back, they turned into chest puddles.
Chest Puddles by The Colonel February 27, 2006