The Colonel's definitions

rat-hole

To digress in an extensive way. To divert the conversation to a topic that is not only unrelated to the topic at hand, but a topic that will likely have no immediate resolution either.

That's an interesting discussion, but let's stay on track and not go down a rat-hole.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Defcon

Stands for "defecation condition" - a play off of the government acronym for "defense condition". Refers to the varying, and usually scaling, levels of severity relating to an impending bowel movement. The direction of the sliding scale varies from user to user, but typical usage labels Defcon 1 as the least urgent, and Defcon 5 as an imminent expulsion (the opposite of the defense department's usage).

Dude, I was at Defcon 5 and nearly shit my pants. Luckily we drove by a Carl's Jr. and I was able to drop a load.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

After Bob came out of the closet, the first thing he did was buy a white Miata and grow a boxtrap.

by The Colonel May 19, 2006

sponge

A boogie board - a soft, spongey flotation device used to ride waves on one's belly.

Look at all the little kids on sponges out in the water.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

stamp licker

a mentally handicapped person

that stamp lickers tongue hangs so far outta his mouth he should get a job outside the post office.

by the colonel December 6, 2003

rig

To have relations (of a sexual nature) with a woman.

Dude, see that hot blonde chick? I rigged her last night.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Crinkle Cones

Saline breast implants. Refers to creases in the saline bags which you can actually see on the surface of a woman's breast. Usually seen when a woman is bending over or in any non-vertical position - you'll see lines or creases running along the sides of the breasts (imagine a zip-lock sandwich baggie filled with water). Typically seen as a sign of a low budget breast augmentation procedure, as well as the inferior nature of saline breast implants when compared to silcone.

Dude, that chick at the beach was pretty hot but she had full on crinkle cones.

by The Colonel November 10, 2005