Telephony's definitions

bone crook

A bone crook is a dog who steals or hides a bone from other dogs in the household.
The bone crook is sneaky enough to pull off the crime without the other dogs knowing.

Murphy stole a big-ass ham bone from in front of the fireplace and stealthily skittered down the stairs with it without the other dogs' knowledge. When I looked for the bone, I had found that the bone crook ate the fucker!

by Telephony May 22, 2018

carmel

Pron. "\ˈkär-məl\" -- how many people say the word, "caramel"

I'm going to the store to buy some chocolate, carmel, and brown shurger.

by Telephony March 31, 2015

Pissed-off life

On Karl Bartos' song, "Overdrive", you can clearly hear him say, "Pissed-off life" yet it's supposed to be, "Kiss of life".

I blew the fuse
I blew my mind
Pissed-off life
Overdrive

by Telephony July 21, 2014

washingmachinemouth

A situation (usually occurring telephonically but may happen in face-to-face conversations as well) where the speaker talksandtalksandtalksandtalkinonelongboringrepetitivedroningsentencewithnospacesorpunctuationinit. :-/

Don't call Pete because he has washingmachinemouth and he will talk your goddamn ear off!

by Telephony December 21, 2013

risky milk

Milk that is close to or is slightly beyond its expiration date.
Drink risky milk at your own risk.

Ray, watch out before you chug-a-lug because that's risky milk!

by Telephony August 8, 2020

Debbieitis

Acting in a totally irrational manner; e.g. lying in bed all day and getting other household members (not even related to you) to do all of your bidding; e.g., getting you a cup of water when the tap is only eight feet away, getting them to steal rollios when the cabinet that it's in is only three feet away, not washing any of their dishes or dealing with the boatload of garbage in their room, forcing others to cook food (stolen from other housemates) and serve it to you on a silver platter, etc.

Man, Heidi is developing a terrible case of Debbieitis! She never picks up her garbage or washes even a single dish! I'm really getting shitted off at the little cunt!!! :-(

by Telephony September 7, 2019

I've Been Sittin on the Toilet

A phoney-bologna fake made-up song, sung to the tune of, "I've Been Working on the Railroad".

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ All the live-long day ♫

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ Just to piss my life away ♫

♫ Don't you hear the whizzer flushing ♫

♫ Sleep in so late in the day ♫

♫ Can't you hear your neighbour yelling ♫

♫ Quick, get the poo-poo spray! ♫

by Telephony July 30, 2016