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Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder

The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.

An example,

Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.

They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)

Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.

Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.

For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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Dog bless you

It's meant in jest, of course..what, you couldn't guess that? Dog bless you!
by Submitters of Words March 30, 2011
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politically correct (conservative)

Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
politically correct (conservative)

Examples of conservative correctness:

frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I

french fries became freedom fries in 2003

David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"

attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses

Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic

Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"

Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."

"Enhanced interrogation techniques"

"Homicide bombing"

Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.

Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"

Free speech zones

The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush

ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)

The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense

Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words December 11, 2011
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politically correct

a pejorative invented by conservatives so they can say whatever the hell they want without reprisal.
Kinda like a "get out of racism free" card. Go ahead and call Justice Sotomayor a spic on national radio, and when you get called out for it, blame the media for being too "politically correct".
"All Jews are good for nothing penny-pinchers! I would know, considering I've met every single one of them. What's that? You say I shouldn't assume things? Rot in hell, you politically correct bastard!"
-Conservative
by Submitters of Words June 28, 2011
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Jew Haters

Weird, obnoxious folks who find it suitable to blame almost 100% of the world's problems on "them jews".
They don't realize that while, yes, many Jews do indeed fulfill the stereotype of "greedy penny pinchers" ( I should know, i'm a jew and i live around them), rich jews did not get there by smoking pot all day. The jewish people historically have placed a heavy emphasis on hard work and education. So maybe if you stop yapping all day and criticizing us, and spend some more time reading up on stocks, you might get somewhere?
Jews are a convenient scapegoat since so many are well off. But they're wealthy for a reason. Did you know that the founder of Google, Sergey Brin, is Jewish? He's a very charitable man too, although this is less known since he prefers a low profile.
Jew haters should also know that while rich jews may often be greedy, so are rich Indians, rich blacks, and hell just rich people in general. It's a problem of the rich and of human nature, not jews.
Liberal Jew haters: They tie any form of judaism with radical zionism. Tend not to realize that the vast majority of Jews in the U.S. are extremely secular and are often some of the most liberal people around to boot. Also most american jews have very little if any connection with Israel.
Conservative Jew haters: They in turn are more prone to despise liberal, secular jews, especially for their perceived influence on Hollywood and the media. I won't lie, this image is probably more accurate. But it's still unfair to insult an entire religion for the actions of a few.
Lastly, the amount of judeophobia on this dictionary, is, frankly, disgusting. Just look up some of the definitions for "jew" or "jews" if you're skeptical of this.
by Submitters of Words July 7, 2011
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Thick

A word that, unfortunately, is now most often used as a euphemism for fat by heavy chicks. Which is a shame since a truly thick woman is undoubtedly a beautiful sight.
Sarah: "So what if I tipped the scale this week? I'm thick, that's all!"
Sarah is 300 pounds...
by Submitters of Words June 29, 2011
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Calibfornia

An alternative name for the state of California.
Since the state is full of liberals, the name is appropriate.
Calibfornia is a nice place to visit, and maybe even live. My ultra-liberal cousins live there, and they're some pretty cool people, after all.
by Submitters of Words August 5, 2011
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