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Submitters of Words's definitions

Personal responsibility card

Similar to the race card, but used by conservatives.

Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
"personal responsibility card"

Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
by Submitters of Words June 15, 2011
mugGet the Personal responsibility cardmug.

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder

The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.

An example,

Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.

They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)

Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.

Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.

For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
mugGet the Conservative Black and White Thinking Disordermug.

Kalam Cosmological Argument

An argument for the existence of God that is ultimately self-refuting.
It states that the universe must have had a beginning because "infinity cannot exist in reality", but then how can God exist?
There are many additional reasons why the Kalam Cosmological Argument fails miserably. Just look them up on the Web if you're interested.
by Submitters of Words June 28, 2011
mugGet the Kalam Cosmological Argumentmug.

Conservative

People who tend to have black and white opinions on nearly every issue in the universe. Don't realize the importance of situational ethics. This is most likely the result of a fundamentalist religious upbringing.
A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderate: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.
Liberal: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).
Conservative: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
mugGet the Conservativemug.

Celestial Dictator

Who else but a celestial dictator would set up an eternal concentration camp for nonbelievers?
by Submitters of Words May 12, 2011
mugGet the Celestial Dictatormug.

Religion

Religion is a failed attempt at understanding the natural world around us, why we exist and what the hell our purpose is.
Science may not be able to answer these questions, but that doesn't mean religion can instead does it?
Perhaps some questions simply don't have answers?
Grow up people!
by Submitters of Words April 18, 2011
mugGet the Religionmug.

Conservative Correctness

Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
Examples of conservative correctness:

frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I

french fries became freedom fries in 2003

David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"

attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses

Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic

Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"

Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."

"Enhanced interrogation techniques"

"Homicide bombing"

Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.

Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"

Free speech zones

The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush

ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)

The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense

Conservatives are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words December 12, 2011
mugGet the Conservative Correctnessmug.

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