Schnorkenschneider's definitions
Contrary to popular belief, the hipster ranges in age from teenager all the way up to elderly and everywhere in between. Younger hipsters generally receive their hipster indoctrination from elder burned-out hipsters and hippies who masquerade as qualified teachers and professors.
They can be spotted wearing carefully ill-fitting clothes, about a size too small, in order to project an image of poverty-chic.
Hipsterism requires strict obedience to recycling rituals, and a prohibition of creating new ideas or items. Subsequently, the hipster will generally be seen wearing logos from mid to late 20th Century capitalist brands. They also like to wear fashion-glasses in order to project a false image of intelligence.
They possess a deep misunderstanding of the word ironic, preferring to use the definition from Alanis Morisette's song rather than the dictionary.
Hipsters generate unusual and offensive odors due to their affinity for organic human waste products and a natural aversion to personal hygiene. In the male of the species, you can spot clouds of fleas living in their beards off of uneaten bits of cafe fare. In the female of the species, fleas can be found in their unshaven armpit hair.
They can be spotted wearing carefully ill-fitting clothes, about a size too small, in order to project an image of poverty-chic.
Hipsterism requires strict obedience to recycling rituals, and a prohibition of creating new ideas or items. Subsequently, the hipster will generally be seen wearing logos from mid to late 20th Century capitalist brands. They also like to wear fashion-glasses in order to project a false image of intelligence.
They possess a deep misunderstanding of the word ironic, preferring to use the definition from Alanis Morisette's song rather than the dictionary.
Hipsters generate unusual and offensive odors due to their affinity for organic human waste products and a natural aversion to personal hygiene. In the male of the species, you can spot clouds of fleas living in their beards off of uneaten bits of cafe fare. In the female of the species, fleas can be found in their unshaven armpit hair.
by Schnorkenschneider April 24, 2014
Get the hipster mug.by Schnorkenschneider November 21, 2013
Get the Activism mug.The blood soaked tampon that is extracted by a person's teeth when performing cunnilingus on a menstruating woman.
"Doris was on her period when I ate her out, she still had her tampon in but I pulled it out with my mouth. That blood clot sandwich was mighty tasty."
~ Billy Joe Bob
~ Billy Joe Bob
by Schnorkenschneider February 5, 2010
Get the Blood Clot Sandwich mug.An act of vandalism carried out by uneducated but highly indoctrinated activists, who act out from egregious misunderstandings of capitalism taught to them by college professors who dreamt up their ideology with the aid of hallucinogenics and other mind altering substances in the late 1960s.
It is also an act of increativity, since the culture jammer is freed from having to create something original of their own, and instead barnacles their messaging onto an existing work of art, mass media, or communication.
It is also an act of increativity, since the culture jammer is freed from having to create something original of their own, and instead barnacles their messaging onto an existing work of art, mass media, or communication.
"Dude, my professor told me that if I spray paint Che Guevara on a McDonald's billboard that I'll be culture jamming Mickey Dee's capitalist signal so they won't be able to disaffect the disproportionate disparities of the disenfranchised with their concentration camp chicken, man."
by Schnorkenschneider February 14, 2014
Get the culture jamming mug.1) Used to describe naturally occurring molecules, materials, or processes.
2) Marketing ploy to profiteer from indoctrinated hipsters by selling food at increased prices that was grown and cultivated using lower cost medieval farming methods, such as avoidance of the use of modern pesticides which kill or drive off disease breeding insects, or the use of modern fertilizers or genetic modification to make crops and livestock more resistant to disease and increase yields.
3) A Marxist assault on capitalist food production through the promotion of pseudoscience and urban legends.
2) Marketing ploy to profiteer from indoctrinated hipsters by selling food at increased prices that was grown and cultivated using lower cost medieval farming methods, such as avoidance of the use of modern pesticides which kill or drive off disease breeding insects, or the use of modern fertilizers or genetic modification to make crops and livestock more resistant to disease and increase yields.
3) A Marxist assault on capitalist food production through the promotion of pseudoscience and urban legends.
Elder Hippie: "This sandwich is so organic."
Rational Person: "So is the mold on the bread and the cockroach legs in the meat."
Yak feces, python venom, the Bubonic Plague, boogers, cancerous tumors, and Fromunder Cheese are all organic.
Rational Person: "So is the mold on the bread and the cockroach legs in the meat."
Yak feces, python venom, the Bubonic Plague, boogers, cancerous tumors, and Fromunder Cheese are all organic.
by Schnorkenschneider March 6, 2014
Get the organic mug.Unbathed miscreants from the flatulent 1960s who developed modern Progressive ideology with the help of LSD and other mind altering substances. They came to believe that hallucinogenics and finger-painting gave them great insight into complex socio-economic and political issues. They originally self-identified as "free love" flower children, but would fundamentally transform themselves into communist oppressors in their old age. What was once a call to live free, became a mad dash for mandates, bans, and suffocating regulation over anything that even remotely annoyed them.
They would eventually come to barnacle themselves to already existing Civil Rights movements. Although still attempting to rebel against their parents while pushing 70 years of age, they are oblivious to the fact that they are no longer counter-culture, that they are in fact: the culture, especially in academic sewers. Perhaps being the most unwise American generation in existence, even in old age they still cannot grasp the reality that the concept of Utopia is a fantasy.
Their lack of personal hygiene is legendary. They oftentimes like to surround themselves with bottles of their own urine, or feces filled compost heaps in their own basements. It's highly likely that between their affinity for their own human waste products and their anti-technology reverence for the Kaczynski-esque ravings of Karl Marx, that they will be bring back the Black Death some time before the next turn of the Century.
They would eventually come to barnacle themselves to already existing Civil Rights movements. Although still attempting to rebel against their parents while pushing 70 years of age, they are oblivious to the fact that they are no longer counter-culture, that they are in fact: the culture, especially in academic sewers. Perhaps being the most unwise American generation in existence, even in old age they still cannot grasp the reality that the concept of Utopia is a fantasy.
Their lack of personal hygiene is legendary. They oftentimes like to surround themselves with bottles of their own urine, or feces filled compost heaps in their own basements. It's highly likely that between their affinity for their own human waste products and their anti-technology reverence for the Kaczynski-esque ravings of Karl Marx, that they will be bring back the Black Death some time before the next turn of the Century.
That filthy hippie won't get his mouth off that bong long enough to read a book; how does he know anything about economics?
by Schnorkenschneider February 22, 2014
Get the Hippie mug.An uneducated and highly emotionally charged adolescent or man-child passive aggressively lashing out at the world through the safety of their computer over poorly understood political issues, usually while in their underwear.
Billy doesn't understand why he has to pay his electric bill, so rather than spend his time looking for a higher paying job, the hacktivist vandalized his local utility's website.
by Schnorkenschneider February 14, 2014
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