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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

chromosomes

Something that men have 24 kinds of whereas women have just 23. Although women have two X chromosomes while men have one X and one Y, one of the women's X chromosomes is "transcriptionally silent" i.e. completely inactive.

The Y chromosome is the sole distinguishing factor between men and women and therefore the home of the genes for rationality and abilities such as parking, understanding maps, inventing humourous jokes or indeed anything useful, using an ATM in 30 seconds or less and not turning into a blubbering mess when something trivial occurs, like a parent's death.
"Have you seen The Sarah Silverman Show? She is one funny ass chick!"

"Yeah but she's literally the ONLY one, makes me kinda suspicious about them chromosomes."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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special needs haircut

One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.

The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".

nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?

Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*

Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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brown

to murder someone, from cockney rhyming slang "brown bread": dead.
Hench: The weasel doesn't wanna pay.

Boss: Fackin' brown 'im!
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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PA

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.
A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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pornanza

I've never seen so much porn in one place at one time, it's a pornanza!
by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
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thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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