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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

freak out

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."

"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."

*infinitive of "freak out"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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al dente

Undercooked pasta which, upon regurgitation, resembles a squirming mass of worms and maggots. Al dente literally means "to the teeth", as it is almost crunchy, meaning it is cheap, dried pasta rather than fresh, soft pasta.

For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
"Sorry I puked all over your dress last night."

"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."

"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
by Mr. Cardboard November 3, 2011
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anal bacon

Untidy skin/flesh emanating from the ringpiece, giving it the appearance of chewed bacon. Usually as a result of overly aggressive anal sex but can equally be caused by prolapse or even be congenital.
Lord Asquith met Lady Jane at the Spring ball, and after months of wooing he finally came to court her. In time they were married and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Alas on their wedding night he discovered she had anal bacon, rendering him impotent. He obtained an anullment later that week.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
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sparent

A spare parent. A parent you could quite easily manage without for the rest of your life.

Usually people have either one sparent, but ideally no sparents until the age of 18. After this age one ought to have two sparents, but may feel as if they still need at least one of their sparents.

The maximum number of sparents a person can have is 4, when one's parents have divorced and both remarried such that one has two actual parents and two step-parents, but all of them are useless and hence spare.

The minimum number is -2, i.e. one is an orphan, under the age of 18 who really needs two parents.
"How many parents do you have?"

"2, although my dad is really a sparent."
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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Virgin Megastore

An all-girls highschool.
Dude 1: Are you coming to the canteen at lunch?

Dude 2: No I need to nip to the Virgin Megastore.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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brown

to murder someone, from cockney rhyming slang "brown bread": dead.
Hench: The weasel doesn't wanna pay.

Boss: Fackin' brown 'im!
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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