Mr. Cardboard's definitions
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."
"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."
*infinitive of "freak out"
"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."
"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."
*infinitive of "freak out"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the freak outmug. Undercooked pasta which, upon regurgitation, resembles a squirming mass of worms and maggots. Al dente literally means "to the teeth", as it is almost crunchy, meaning it is cheap, dried pasta rather than fresh, soft pasta.
For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
"Sorry I puked all over your dress last night."
"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."
"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."
"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
by Mr. Cardboard November 3, 2011
Get the al dentemug. One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the special needs haircutmug. Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the beereakfastmug. The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the Audrey Hollandermug. The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the footballmug. by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
Get the Jacksonsmug.