Mr. Cardboard's definitions

McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.

Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

time machine

A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.

Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."

John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

goober

Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.

"I have 3 kids and a large mortgage."

"You goober."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

beereakfast

Beer for breakfast.

Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.

Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

Audrey Hollander

The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.

"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"

"Audrey Hollander. Alive."

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011

thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.

Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

immolate

to impersonate a mole

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011