Skip to main content

Mr. Cardboard's definitions

anal bacon

Untidy skin/flesh emanating from the ringpiece, giving it the appearance of chewed bacon. Usually as a result of overly aggressive anal sex but can equally be caused by prolapse or even be congenital.
Lord Asquith met Lady Jane at the Spring ball, and after months of wooing he finally came to court her. In time they were married and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Alas on their wedding night he discovered she had anal bacon, rendering him impotent. He obtained an anullment later that week.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
mugGet the anal bacon mug.

Virgin Megastore

An all-girls highschool.
Dude 1: Are you coming to the canteen at lunch?

Dude 2: No I need to nip to the Virgin Megastore.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the Virgin Megastore mug.

Widespread Panic

Any situation where you are legs and/or cheeks akimbo and feel sudden terror, for example:

- you are getting fucked by the gardener when your psychopathic mobster husband comes home early

- the shit you are taking is so wide, long and dry you fear it might split your ring open and/or drag out some colon with it

- two guys hold you bent over a table while a third kicks your legs open in preparation for the gang that's about to ass rape and possibly kill you

- the glass jar you put up your ass for a sexual thrill suddenly breaks under the pressure
Dude have you seen one guy, one jar? Now THAT'S widespread panic.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
mugGet the Widespread Panic mug.

schlongs in thongs

An amusing way to refer to male transvestites and pre-op transexuals, in the same vein as other rhyming or alliterative means of alleviating the ridiculousness of encountering men who are so psychologically damaged that they believe they are actually women trapped in men's bodies, because no-one has bothered to explain to them that they have X and Y chromosomes whereas women have only X chromosomes, and that their assertion that they are female is therefore medically and scientifically impossible.

See also:
chicks with dicks, cocks in frocks, sluts with nuts, dames with dongs, women with wangs, girls with grapes, princesses with penises, mums with plums, lads in lingerie, gals with balls, boys with boobs
I have an annual subscription to Schlongs in Thongs.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
mugGet the schlongs in thongs mug.

facefuck

To comment on someone's facebook status or post and engage them in conversation, then delete all your comments so it looks like they have been talking to themself.
Victim: I know, they rock!
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the facefuck mug.

marmalade

The natural lubricant of the anus, designed to enable shit to slide out more easily but which also facilitates the insertion of golf balls.
"I was holding in a shit all last period but it turned out to just be a huge fart, however I wiped anyway in case some marmalade had come out."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
mugGet the marmalade mug.

brown

to murder someone, from cockney rhyming slang "brown bread": dead.
Hench: The weasel doesn't wanna pay.

Boss: Fackin' brown 'im!
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the brown mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email