Mr. Cardboard's definitions
The most epic porn star the world has ever seen. Hardcore wasn't good enough for her, no no, she had to invent supercore. Belladonna was top turkey for a long time, but then Audrey came along, crapped cum into her own mouth and swallowed it. Nobody can top that.
"If you could sleep with anyone, living or dead, who would you sleep with?"
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
"Audrey Hollander. Alive."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the Audrey Hollander mug.Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the beereakfast mug.The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the football mug.by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
Get the Jacksons mug.A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the sex keyboard mug.To comment on someone's facebook status or post and engage them in conversation, then delete all your comments so it looks like they have been talking to themself.
Victim: I know, they rock!
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the facefuck mug.Any situation where you are legs and/or cheeks akimbo and feel sudden terror, for example:
- you are getting fucked by the gardener when your psychopathic mobster husband comes home early
- the shit you are taking is so wide, long and dry you fear it might split your ring open and/or drag out some colon with it
- two guys hold you bent over a table while a third kicks your legs open in preparation for the gang that's about to ass rape and possibly kill you
- the glass jar you put up your ass for a sexual thrill suddenly breaks under the pressure
- you are getting fucked by the gardener when your psychopathic mobster husband comes home early
- the shit you are taking is so wide, long and dry you fear it might split your ring open and/or drag out some colon with it
- two guys hold you bent over a table while a third kicks your legs open in preparation for the gang that's about to ass rape and possibly kill you
- the glass jar you put up your ass for a sexual thrill suddenly breaks under the pressure
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the Widespread Panic mug.