Mike in Aurora, Colorado's definitions

Oyster in a Half Shell

Normally, Oyster in a Half Shell is taken to mean a food dish. However, the extended and additional definition of that expression leads to that of the sexual nature. Now, it is also a phrase that denotes when a male ejaculates onto, or, into a woman's palm after she causes such an incident to occur after performing digital sex, or more commonly known as a hand job. Although it is basically understood that this refers to the same regarding prostitution, many non-professional women, married and unmarried, call it the same thing. Boasting by men about the act often occurs, somewhat like a badge of recognition, et al.,.

Hooker After Satisfying a Client: "Wow! He howled when I jerked him off and I ended up with an 'oyster in a half shell'!"

A Conferring Couple After Intercourse: "I loved it, dear! Your 'oyster in a half shell' was great!!" said Linda.

Man Who is a Legend in his Own Mind: "Yeah, I'm the man! Just did that girl. She then rubbed me off. Talk about 'oyster in a half shell'! There was so much cum that she's thinking about suing me because it slid off the sides of her hands and onto her expensive carpet!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado May 21, 2008

Camel Ass Taco

1.) Based on the movie starring, Larry the Cable Guy, 'Delta Farce'. When he and two of his buddies are accidently dropped off by the Army in Mexico instead of Iraq, they are befriended and taken in by the small town they inadvertedly saved from a local drug lord. When fed tacos, the guys are still convinced that they are in Iraq. After hearing that they were tacos, the trio concluded that it might contain camel meat. Hence, the dubbing name of Camel Ass Taco. 2.) Now used by several service men that refer to any kind of woman's anatomy from the Middle East. Persian Pussy is also currently referred to as Camel Ass Taco. 3.) A rascist description of many business owners, (i.e. Convenience store, liquor stores, gas stations, et al.,) Nomally used in context with Middle Eastern people, it is quite often transgressed to mean almost anyone from the Asian subcontinent, such as India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, et cetera.

Cusine: "That was great! Some wicked, 'Camel Ass Taco'!"

Sex: "I know that chick is from Iran, but she is a narly 'Camel Ass Taco', dude!"

Convenience store patron: "That guy running that joint is a real 'Camel Ass Taco'! Must be from turbanville somewhere."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 14, 2008

Whoosh

1.) Predominately used in direct conjunction with a sound that is similiar, a 'whooshing' sound, as it were. 2.) A modern day word that follows a long history from origin to the present. Origin: From the word pussy, in direct application as used to describe either a vagina, or vaginas (plural), and/or can be used to describe either a coward or woos (part whimp and part pussy). Progression: In the early 1980's all the way up to now, the word woos was a hybrid of pussy and wimp. Present: Recently, the word whoosh has come into the spotlight. It follows up on all preceding definitons whereas the word dooche has been used to describe someone of low character, low esteem, loser, rip off artist, and any other applicable usages of that word. Hence, the word: Whoosh! 3.) A direct combination of the words: Pussy, * Woos, and dooche. Please note: Woos is already a derivative word.

Literature: He entered the building and the fresh air came in like a 'whoosh'! Needless to say, the fart smell vacated the front lobby expediently.

Sex: "He's such a 'whoosh'! He was quick on the trigger, didn't do any foreplay whatsoever, and he's been boasting 'bout what a stud he is! Sheeeit!"

Bad Drug Deal: "The stuff I tried was great, but the bag he sold me was mostly cut! That nigga Smith is such a 'whoosh'!"

Failed Relationship: "Karen appeared to be Ruth's friend, but after she pulled that number on her, she's nothin' but a big headed 'whoosh'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 20, 2008

Night Freak

Is when a person is involuntarily accosted sexually, normally in the form of oral sex, generally referred to when it is the female initiating the act while she is awake and her male target is asleep. Although the scenario thus described is the most common usage, it does have derivatives and alternative sexual encounters that relate to the same. 1.) When an awake female performs oral sex, or fellatio, on a male when he is asleep. 2.) Any sexual situation that is perpetuated by a waking party, or parties, as the sexual target is accosted. 3.) Having an orgasm during a 'night freak' session, whether awake or asleep, when climax occurs. It is often a reciprocal statement of the obvious.

After a female pulls such a stunt on a sleeping male: "Whoa! I couldn't believe that such a church going girl like Linda would pull a 'night freak' on me like that!"

When a guy awakes during a 'night freak' and cums: "Oh, God! I just 'night freaked', baby!"

A gay encounter: "I thought he was just dreamy and he shot out buckets and howled like a wolf when I did a 'night freak' on him! Whadda guy!!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 29, 2008

Buck Buck Buck

1. A term used in reference to a person who simply doesn't stop pontificating/talking. Usually the 'superpower' during a conversation. Someone who never runs out of material regardless of life situations for they do not stop talking! 2. A yappy little dog that resembles the features described in definition 1. Normally in the Terrier class of canine, but can just be a dog that, not unlike a human 'Buck Buck Buck', seemingly will not cease barking. 3. A political 'talking head' that promises things to no end in sight, however, more often than not, results in very little positive outcomes, though not always!

Cell phone patron: "She gets on the phone, girl, and is a real 'Buck Buck Buck'! Cannot keep her trap shut!!"

Houseguest: "Stan is a nice guy, but he's been here for three days and is too much of a 'Buck Buck Buck'! He needs to leave!!"

Bar: "Man! Normally Dave is reserved, but get a couple of Jaggermeisters in him and he turns into a real 'Buck Buck Buck'! Chatterbox city!!" Said the bartender.

A neighbor: "That little white Westie terrier is cute as hell, but man, what a 'Buck Buck Buck'! Won't stop yapping until either the owner shuts him up or if someone jokes about getting him fixed! Cares about his 'arf balls' too much!!

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 7, 2008

Bow Wow

1.) Refers to the sex act of doggie style or arf sex, where the male mounts the female from behind, normally vaginal contact, however, can also refer to anal sex in the same fashion. 2.) Having had good sex and boasting about the same, although it is not restricted in the sense of all within definition 1.). Can refer to almost any completed sex act.

Prostitute Query: "I charge the same for 'bow wow' as I would for missionary sex. Would you like that?"

Guy Talk: "We did it 'bow wow' for almost two hours, man!"

False Stud: "Yeah! Got her into 'bow wow' big time! I was good, dude!!" Said Andy, acting proud. However, Howard told Dilbert that it was not true because Sylvia never even saw Andy again. There was no way he could have had 'bow wow' with her, if anything.

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 24, 2008

Chode Probe

1.) A very specialized method of stimulating not only the prostate, but surrounding items as well, such as muscles, nerves, tissues, blood, and a slew of the same near the anus. It involves either a normally erect penis, finger, medical stimulating electrode, dildo, racketball, or any other item that can apply a fair amount of pressure to the said area: chode; the pubic region between the bottom of the testicles all the way down to the lower edge of the anus. The object of the sexual partner or self gratification: masturbation is to produce either sensations to obtain an erection for the purpose of other forms of sexual pursuits. However, if constant impact of either an erect penis or otherwise is persistent, it may well result in not only a very active center of nerves and sexual organs, but may well achieve an explosive orgasm. 2.) The act of chode probing, or, any act of the same nature as outlined in detail in 1.).

Gay Sex: "No penetration, just a wonderful 'chode probe'!"

Hetrosexual Encounter: "Raul wasn't very excited until I pulled out my largest, life like, dildo and pounded him silly until he came five minutes later. Raul really loves his 'chode probes'!"

Introspective Literary Work: He kept slamming his sister's huge dildo against his 'chode' area for almost an hour. Finally, he pounded heavier and faster than before. As he came, the satisfied man realized that his 'chode probe' had definitely paid off!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 28, 2008