Mike in Aurora, Colorado's definitions

Subway Transfer

1.) Pertains to the penetration of a female's vagina and then the anus by an erect penis on an alternating basis. Normally, it starts with first vaginal penetration, then anal, then vaginal again, and so forth. The duration can vary in length of either orafice, although it is standard to only apply this term to short durations for the same. (about three to ten seconds of actual penetration of either orafice before withdrawal of the penis for the intent of penetrating the adjacent orafice). * Warning: Should only be attempted with either a condom, regular physical check ups, and/or, with a singular partner relationship three to five years in progress.

Sexual Intent: "I wanna do a 'subway transfer' on that chick!"

Hemorrhoids: "I wouldn't have had such a huge 'rhoid if my husband didn't pull a 'subway transfer' on my ass all the time!"

Harmful Notion: "Man! That bitch is going pay for her stuff with a 'subway transfer' by me!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 13, 2008

Melvins

1.) The earlier of the modern term a wedgie or wedgy. It is defined primarily when a perpetrator goes behind an individual (normally a male), and yanks the underwear band up so as to get a major percentage of the underwear in question up the buttocks crevice. 2.) The results of insufficient wiping of the anus and surrounding areas thereof, which entails the common term skid marks (manure streaks in undergarments). 3.) The sensation that leads a person to conclude that A.) They are experiencing a less than fresh ass. B.) May have an undeterminate dingleberry remaining in the rectum, anus, or quite conceivably the less than desirable buttocks region. C.) Gives the false impression of the presence of Melvins, when, in fact, the nerve endings in the bottom of someone's ass are being affected by anal perspiration, or the tingling feelings caused by butt, or, pubic hairs, perhaps both! This may cause great anxiety with people on a date and those that are anticipating a potential sexual encounter.

High School Shenanigans: "I got that dork, Myron, and gave him the 'Melvins' so hard that it changed his singing voice!"

Laundry Person: "That bastard might be rich, but I wash his funky, stanky drawers all the time. The worst is when I run across his shorts and they have unremmovable 'Melvins'!"

Nervous Male: He was rather confident in his speech and demeanor, however, Joe the Maintenance at the Retreat near the city center, was overtly concerned about his 'Melvins'! He hoped that there was a restroom nearby so he could deal with the moist and sloppy feelings there.

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 29, 2008

Skiddles

1.) Skid marks (short to long steaks of manure) left at the bottom of a toilet bowl, normally a result of a dry dump' (manure evacuation devoid of proper water or moisture). 2.) Spackling of manure as the result of either diarrhea, extremely propelled pieces of dung, or, simply summer splashing (water and other local substances in a toilet bowl that splash one's buttocks, genitals and under thighs). 3.) Marks are normally as described in 1.) and are usually found within the surface of the toilet bowl, or the underneath rim. However, in certain cases it entails also the underside of a toilet seat, the top of the rim, and, or, the top side behind the toilet seat itself. 4.) A derogatory term used in place of the word dingleberry, or, dingleberries, inclusively.

Illegal Alien Hotel Workers: "Ay, caramba! That Gringo left mucho 'skiddles' in the crapper!!"

Maintenance Order: "Oh, by the way, Tom. When you clean the offices after hours, would you mind getting all those 'skiddles' in the execuive restroom? I appreciate it!" Said mister Ballebusder before leaving for the day.

Housewife Commiseration: "I love my husband with all my heart, but I just wish for once that he'd stop leaving so many damned 'skiddles' in the crapper! It's geee rosssss!"

High School Gossip: "Man! That Joey burned me when I bought grass from him. He's a real 'skiddles'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 13, 2008

Whoosh

1.) Predominately used in direct conjunction with a sound that is similiar, a 'whooshing' sound, as it were. 2.) A modern day word that follows a long history from origin to the present. Origin: From the word pussy, in direct application as used to describe either a vagina, or vaginas (plural), and/or can be used to describe either a coward or woos (part whimp and part pussy). Progression: In the early 1980's all the way up to now, the word woos was a hybrid of pussy and wimp. Present: Recently, the word whoosh has come into the spotlight. It follows up on all preceding definitons whereas the word dooche has been used to describe someone of low character, low esteem, loser, rip off artist, and any other applicable usages of that word. Hence, the word: Whoosh! 3.) A direct combination of the words: Pussy, * Woos, and dooche. Please note: Woos is already a derivative word.

Literature: He entered the building and the fresh air came in like a 'whoosh'! Needless to say, the fart smell vacated the front lobby expediently.

Sex: "He's such a 'whoosh'! He was quick on the trigger, didn't do any foreplay whatsoever, and he's been boasting 'bout what a stud he is! Sheeeit!"

Bad Drug Deal: "The stuff I tried was great, but the bag he sold me was mostly cut! That nigga Smith is such a 'whoosh'!"

Failed Relationship: "Karen appeared to be Ruth's friend, but after she pulled that number on her, she's nothin' but a big headed 'whoosh'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 20, 2008

Fafuna

(pronunciation: Fah-foo-nah) 1.) Originially Portugese: In direct and unabated reference to female genitalia, specifically, the vagina. The American equivalent of 'pussy', or the UK English 'crumpet'. 2.) Used in a negative description of an unscrupulous, sneaky, non trustworthy person. 3.) Negative term in conjunction with the following: Whore, slut, pro, skank, bimbo, bimbozoid, slag woman, fag hag, along with any other bad reputation in the sexual content of all.

Sexual encounter: "Julie has a gorgeous 'fafuna', man!"

Car buyer: "I would buy the car, but the salesman is a real 'fafuna'! I don't trust him at all!!"

Observation: "That new guy doesn't like nice girls, he wants some 'fafuna' instead! Likes the kinky stuff."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 7, 2008

Arf Sex

1. A descriptive term referring to the sex act better known as 'doggie style' in where the male mounts a female from behind during the act, much like a canine. 2. In reference to pending sexual encounters that may, well in fact, result in the initiation of 'arf sex', as described in definition 1. 3. To describe what normally women would describe as an indiscretionary male devoid/lacking of morals, ethics and, above all, fidelity. 4. In reference to anything that is promising, however, is most likely negative in future prediction (such as in politics and corporate agendas, the military in Iraq, et al.,.)

Sex: "She and I had 'Arf Sex', and it was good!"

Potential Sex: "When she gets here and a few drinks under her belt, we'll have 'Arf Sex'.

Talking about a Playboy: "He's slick! A real 'Arf Sex' kind of guy."

Politics: "That dude talks a good game, but his track record is real 'Arf Sex'. Nothing he promises ever comes true."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 7, 2008

Oyster in a Half Shell

Normally, Oyster in a Half Shell is taken to mean a food dish. However, the extended and additional definition of that expression leads to that of the sexual nature. Now, it is also a phrase that denotes when a male ejaculates onto, or, into a woman's palm after she causes such an incident to occur after performing digital sex, or more commonly known as a hand job. Although it is basically understood that this refers to the same regarding prostitution, many non-professional women, married and unmarried, call it the same thing. Boasting by men about the act often occurs, somewhat like a badge of recognition, et al.,.

Hooker After Satisfying a Client: "Wow! He howled when I jerked him off and I ended up with an 'oyster in a half shell'!"

A Conferring Couple After Intercourse: "I loved it, dear! Your 'oyster in a half shell' was great!!" said Linda.

Man Who is a Legend in his Own Mind: "Yeah, I'm the man! Just did that girl. She then rubbed me off. Talk about 'oyster in a half shell'! There was so much cum that she's thinking about suing me because it slid off the sides of her hands and onto her expensive carpet!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado May 21, 2008