Mike in Aurora, Colorado's definitions

Chode Probe

1.) A very specialized method of stimulating not only the prostate, but surrounding items as well, such as muscles, nerves, tissues, blood, and a slew of the same near the anus. It involves either a normally erect penis, finger, medical stimulating electrode, dildo, racketball, or any other item that can apply a fair amount of pressure to the said area: chode; the pubic region between the bottom of the testicles all the way down to the lower edge of the anus. The object of the sexual partner or self gratification: masturbation is to produce either sensations to obtain an erection for the purpose of other forms of sexual pursuits. However, if constant impact of either an erect penis or otherwise is persistent, it may well result in not only a very active center of nerves and sexual organs, but may well achieve an explosive orgasm. 2.) The act of chode probing, or, any act of the same nature as outlined in detail in 1.).

Gay Sex: "No penetration, just a wonderful 'chode probe'!"

Hetrosexual Encounter: "Raul wasn't very excited until I pulled out my largest, life like, dildo and pounded him silly until he came five minutes later. Raul really loves his 'chode probes'!"

Introspective Literary Work: He kept slamming his sister's huge dildo against his 'chode' area for almost an hour. Finally, he pounded heavier and faster than before. As he came, the satisfied man realized that his 'chode probe' had definitely paid off!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 28, 2008

Noots

Derived from the Comedy Central show, South Park. In a good portion of the episodes, Eric Cartman (a.k.a Cartman), expresses the desire to, "Kick someone square in the nuts!". However, in a strong minority of the episodes mentioned, a distant Southern American accent can be heard. For example, Cartman says, "Ah will kick yew squaw (square) in the noots (nuts)!" Hence, 'noots', is just another word pertaining to the testicles. Also to be used, with punity, in conjuction with the following for direct reference: nuts, balls, beans, nards, nads, double plums, sperm compounds, or any number of other words that relate directly to testicles. Most often used in regards to doing some form of blunt harm to the same.

When Cartman Found Out About A Conspiracy By His Mother To Get Him Infected With Chicken Pox: "Oh, man! I'm going go downstairs and kick her 'squaw in the noots'!"

Bad Drug Deal: "Yo' G! That mother fucker sold me some bad H, man! I'm gonna cut off his noots!!"

Sex and the City Conversation: "He was really into it and got really turned on when I started playing with his 'noots'!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 10, 2008

Runk

The Nuevo Modern term (post Twentieth Century) in reference generally towards sex, nomally in context with intercourse, although general variations do follow. It can be the simple definition of sex between a man and a woman, but its application is rather broad without boundaries. It can and is used to describe the mere act of sex, whether straight, bisexual or gay. It is also used to describe feelings of love for someone, or, something. The equivalent of 'fuck' when used in descrptive terms.

1. Sex: "That girl is the type I want to runk!"

2. Alternative sex: "She and I did backdoor runk!"

3. Adjective: "I don't really give a flying runk!"

4. Love: "I really do runk my wife! Seriously!!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado January 29, 2008

Melvins

1.) The earlier of the modern term a wedgie or wedgy. It is defined primarily when a perpetrator goes behind an individual (normally a male), and yanks the underwear band up so as to get a major percentage of the underwear in question up the buttocks crevice. 2.) The results of insufficient wiping of the anus and surrounding areas thereof, which entails the common term skid marks (manure streaks in undergarments). 3.) The sensation that leads a person to conclude that A.) They are experiencing a less than fresh ass. B.) May have an undeterminate dingleberry remaining in the rectum, anus, or quite conceivably the less than desirable buttocks region. C.) Gives the false impression of the presence of Melvins, when, in fact, the nerve endings in the bottom of someone's ass are being affected by anal perspiration, or the tingling feelings caused by butt, or, pubic hairs, perhaps both! This may cause great anxiety with people on a date and those that are anticipating a potential sexual encounter.

High School Shenanigans: "I got that dork, Myron, and gave him the 'Melvins' so hard that it changed his singing voice!"

Laundry Person: "That bastard might be rich, but I wash his funky, stanky drawers all the time. The worst is when I run across his shorts and they have unremmovable 'Melvins'!"

Nervous Male: He was rather confident in his speech and demeanor, however, Joe the Maintenance at the Retreat near the city center, was overtly concerned about his 'Melvins'! He hoped that there was a restroom nearby so he could deal with the moist and sloppy feelings there.

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 29, 2008

Subway Transfer

1.) Pertains to the penetration of a female's vagina and then the anus by an erect penis on an alternating basis. Normally, it starts with first vaginal penetration, then anal, then vaginal again, and so forth. The duration can vary in length of either orafice, although it is standard to only apply this term to short durations for the same. (about three to ten seconds of actual penetration of either orafice before withdrawal of the penis for the intent of penetrating the adjacent orafice). * Warning: Should only be attempted with either a condom, regular physical check ups, and/or, with a singular partner relationship three to five years in progress.

Sexual Intent: "I wanna do a 'subway transfer' on that chick!"

Hemorrhoids: "I wouldn't have had such a huge 'rhoid if my husband didn't pull a 'subway transfer' on my ass all the time!"

Harmful Notion: "Man! That bitch is going pay for her stuff with a 'subway transfer' by me!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 13, 2008

Barak

1. 2008 Presidential activities concerning Barak Obama.
2. Used by opposition, as well as supporters, of Barak Obama in both, positive and negative, ways. 3. To have an ego the size of any state in the union. 4. A descriptive term used in reference to a loud and projecting fart (flatulence), normally when someone 'rips one'! Synonymous sounds include, but are not limited to the following: Motorcycle, motorboat, lawnmower starting, tearing or ripping textiles/clothing, et al.,. 5. A half black/half white person.

Presidential Race: "Its a Barak verses Hillary standoff!"
Supporter: "We'll Barak the votes once the voting starts!"
Opposition: "Hope that the White House doesn't go Barak!"
Egotistic: "Yo', big head is actin' so Barak!"
Flatulence: "Man, oh man! I told ya' not ta eat three burritos in a row!! That last one ya' ripped was a Barak!"
Racial Composition: "Look at those features. She's a Barak!"

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 5, 2008

Camel Ass Taco

1.) Based on the movie starring, Larry the Cable Guy, 'Delta Farce'. When he and two of his buddies are accidently dropped off by the Army in Mexico instead of Iraq, they are befriended and taken in by the small town they inadvertedly saved from a local drug lord. When fed tacos, the guys are still convinced that they are in Iraq. After hearing that they were tacos, the trio concluded that it might contain camel meat. Hence, the dubbing name of Camel Ass Taco. 2.) Now used by several service men that refer to any kind of woman's anatomy from the Middle East. Persian Pussy is also currently referred to as Camel Ass Taco. 3.) A rascist description of many business owners, (i.e. Convenience store, liquor stores, gas stations, et al.,) Nomally used in context with Middle Eastern people, it is quite often transgressed to mean almost anyone from the Asian subcontinent, such as India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, et cetera.

Cusine: "That was great! Some wicked, 'Camel Ass Taco'!"

Sex: "I know that chick is from Iran, but she is a narly 'Camel Ass Taco', dude!"

Convenience store patron: "That guy running that joint is a real 'Camel Ass Taco'! Must be from turbanville somewhere."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 14, 2008