Mark H's definitions
Pretty much has the same meaning as cock block or baller block, except that it refers to a female who is being prevented from scoring sexually with a man or another woman(if she is a lesbian or bisexual).
(at the bar)
Danny: (drunkenly talking to a girl who approached him with bedroom eyes and the intention of getting laid) "Hey baby, you do realize you are a total amazon, right? Mmmm, those lips, legs, breasts, and ass of yours! I really wanna nap with you tonight!"
Gertude: *giggles* "Sure hun, I'm sure you really need it! And for starters, my name is Gertrude!"
Danny: "While I don't think that that is the loveliest name I've ever heard, your manner and appearance really make up for it! Giggidy giggidy!"
Gertrude: "Yeah really, little man! How would ya like some of my lipstick on your dipstick, hmm?"
Danny: "Awwwwriiiight!"
*Suddenly Danny's friend Garrett runs out of nowhere and bodyslams Gertrude into a table*
Gertrude: "Hey why you little...!!?" *is knocked out temporarily for a few minutes*
Garrett: "Shut up, cheese hog and stay the fuck away from my homie here!"
Danny: "You asshole!! I was having a good time with my new bitch Gertrude and all of a sudden you break in to pussy block her for no reason!"
Garrett: "Dude. If you weren't so spaced out, you'd have an idea how fat and weather beaten that girl is. You obviously thought her name was the only ugly thing about her thanks to your beer goggles."
Danny: *hic* "Huh?? Well man you do know, that I'm also attracted to fat women right?"
Garrett: "But, but, you, um..."
Danny: "Whatever! She's MINE now so accept it, like it or not! *goes over to Gertrude, who was now getting up* Okay baby, let's go to my apartment and hit the sack! I'm really jonesin for some more cushion for the pushin!"
Gertrude: Yay! Let's go sweetie and let's get horizontal with each other!
*Still inebriated, Danny walks out the bar with his fat sow and returns to his appartment with her for a night of love making that would eventually blossom into a "beautiful" relationship, regardless of Gertrude's appearance after Danny sobering up."
Mark H. Urban slang contributer since February 2004.
Danny: (drunkenly talking to a girl who approached him with bedroom eyes and the intention of getting laid) "Hey baby, you do realize you are a total amazon, right? Mmmm, those lips, legs, breasts, and ass of yours! I really wanna nap with you tonight!"
Gertude: *giggles* "Sure hun, I'm sure you really need it! And for starters, my name is Gertrude!"
Danny: "While I don't think that that is the loveliest name I've ever heard, your manner and appearance really make up for it! Giggidy giggidy!"
Gertrude: "Yeah really, little man! How would ya like some of my lipstick on your dipstick, hmm?"
Danny: "Awwwwriiiight!"
*Suddenly Danny's friend Garrett runs out of nowhere and bodyslams Gertrude into a table*
Gertrude: "Hey why you little...!!?" *is knocked out temporarily for a few minutes*
Garrett: "Shut up, cheese hog and stay the fuck away from my homie here!"
Danny: "You asshole!! I was having a good time with my new bitch Gertrude and all of a sudden you break in to pussy block her for no reason!"
Garrett: "Dude. If you weren't so spaced out, you'd have an idea how fat and weather beaten that girl is. You obviously thought her name was the only ugly thing about her thanks to your beer goggles."
Danny: *hic* "Huh?? Well man you do know, that I'm also attracted to fat women right?"
Garrett: "But, but, you, um..."
Danny: "Whatever! She's MINE now so accept it, like it or not! *goes over to Gertrude, who was now getting up* Okay baby, let's go to my apartment and hit the sack! I'm really jonesin for some more cushion for the pushin!"
Gertrude: Yay! Let's go sweetie and let's get horizontal with each other!
*Still inebriated, Danny walks out the bar with his fat sow and returns to his appartment with her for a night of love making that would eventually blossom into a "beautiful" relationship, regardless of Gertrude's appearance after Danny sobering up."
Mark H. Urban slang contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 2, 2005
Get the pussy block mug.1. As shy Stanley saw his beautiful big amazon bride show up in her wedding dress with her huge tits in prominence, he felt his entire reproductive system give way and he had to rush to the restroom to take a relieving jizz whiz, so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of everybody.
2. As Vinnie sobered up and began to see that the hot bitch he was shagging was really a broke down swamp donkey, he knew that his last ditch act of retribution was to jizz whiz all over her face as soon as he pulled out.
Mark H. UD slang contributer since February 2004.
2. As Vinnie sobered up and began to see that the hot bitch he was shagging was really a broke down swamp donkey, he knew that his last ditch act of retribution was to jizz whiz all over her face as soon as he pulled out.
Mark H. UD slang contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 16, 2005
Get the jizz whiz mug.When Bill was going on a road trip away from D.C. one day, he was getting a blowrider from Monica throughout the long journey.
Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
by Mark H July 5, 2005
Get the blowrider mug.To masturbate. The term is used particularly to refer to male masturbation(jacking off), since the action of pulling on and fondling one's own penis or testicles often looks like actually rolling a pair of dice.
I was rolling my dice at those tig ol bitties on that hot broad who was giving me a private lap dance.
by Mark H September 6, 2004
Get the roll the dice mug.When two people engage in anal sex.
(called "assmosis" because the two lovers are absorbing each other's pleasure as they bump their ends)
Derived from the word "osmosis."
(called "assmosis" because the two lovers are absorbing each other's pleasure as they bump their ends)
Derived from the word "osmosis."
by Mark H May 22, 2004
Get the assmosis mug.Adjective used to describe an object, person, place, or idea, that is uniquely large among his/her/its kind, i.e. with a size exaggeratively being compared to the size of the state of Texas.
"Hey man look over there!" *points to the posterior of a very obese black woman sitting down gorging herself on 25 packages of McDonald's chicken selects. "Check out them Texas-sized buns of hers! That's a huge bitch!"
"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"
"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."
"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."
"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."
"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"
"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."
"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."
"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."
"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
by Mark H February 19, 2005
Get the Texas-sized mug.