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Mark H's definitions

Assmodeus

An excellent male pornstar name!

Variant of Asmodeus. See the definition of that word so you can understand why "Assmodeus" is a great male pornstar name. Get it? Ass-modeus? *rimshot*
If I ever become a male pornstar, then I know what name will I be called.

ASSMODEUS!!
by Mark H May 29, 2004
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grass monkey

A marijuana addict, a stoner, a pothead. "Grass" is a well-known term for marijuana.
Curious George always wondered what the Man in the Yellow Hat has been smoking lately that smelled so good. And so George then sneaked into a weed cabinet which the Man in the Yellow Hat has left unattended, grabbed a few J's and a lighter and then started enjoying himself. He could not stop afterwards. What a grass monkey he now is!

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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
by Mark H October 2, 2005
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rat's tutu

A comparative slang term that is used to indicate worthlessness in something. This term is a synonym of rat's ass, though it's slightly harsher(referring to a rat's vagina), less commonly used, and is known to be most often used by America's most loathed anti-gay fundie pastor Fred_Phelps and his congregation of similar-minded followers.
1."You jackass Swedes just don't get it. Once you have laws to chill Bible preaching, we don't give a rat's tutu whatever else you do or say. You are drippings from the Devil's own penis - a veritable sperm bank for Satan's queers." -Fred Phelps (to a few Swedes who sent him and his church photos of the Swedish royal family) BTW, this is quoted from his "church's" website.

2. Yay! Lots of beer for tonight's beirut tourn... whoa wait a minute, you bought us a few whole cases ofO'DOUL'S??!! You fucknob! That shit isn't even worth a rat's TUTU to drink! Now we really need to get into some gangsta shit with you for doing this to us!





Mark H. Over 1 year of Urban Dictionary contributions since last February(like anyone will give a rat's tutu? ;-) ).
by Mark H March 3, 2005
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jizz whiz

The act of ejaculating(jizzing) while urinating(whizzing) simultaneously.
1. As shy Stanley saw his beautiful big amazon bride show up in her wedding dress with her huge tits in prominence, he felt his entire reproductive system give way and he had to rush to the restroom to take a relieving jizz whiz, so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of everybody.

2. As Vinnie sobered up and began to see that the hot bitch he was shagging was really a broke down swamp donkey, he knew that his last ditch act of retribution was to jizz whiz all over her face as soon as he pulled out.





Mark H. UD slang contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 16, 2005
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horizontal sumo wrestling

When two fat people have sex with(or make love to) each other.
When Jeff(a little scrawny sexually frustrated guy who likes to peek into other peoples' dorm rooms to look for and watch certain people having sex) snuck his eyes into one dorm room with the sounds of intense sexual activity emanating from it, he was all of a sudden scarred for life and lost his lunch when he saw two broke down Tri Delt bitches engaging in the act of horizontal sumo wrestling and giving each other Hot Karl.





Mark H. Urban Dictionary afficionado since February 2004.
by Mark H December 14, 2004
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Texas-sized

Adjective used to describe an object, person, place, or idea, that is uniquely large among his/her/its kind, i.e. with a size exaggeratively being compared to the size of the state of Texas.
"Hey man look over there!" *points to the posterior of a very obese black woman sitting down gorging herself on 25 packages of McDonald's chicken selects. "Check out them Texas-sized buns of hers! That's a huge bitch!"

"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"

"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."

"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."

"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."

"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
by Mark H February 19, 2005
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