Mark H's definitions

bitch and a half

1. Someone(usually a female) who is such a complete and total bitch; mean, annoying, whiny, obnoxious, and/or just generally unpleasant to be around you.
2. A VERY large female dog.

Little Fido would never want to sleep in the doghouse with Maggie, our new German Shepheard, since she's a real bitch and a half.

Mark H. Pround provider of new(and some existing) slang vocabulary since February 2004.

by Mark H October 1, 2005

cool out with your tool out

1.To masturbate(if you are a guy) and/or to just sit down and relax with your penis portruding out of your pants.

2.To go out with someone and/or to go somewhere with the intention of having sex.

Syn: hang out with your wang out

1. I was so bored and tired when I got home from work, so I got out my girly magazines and proceeded to cool out with my tool out.

2a. After scoring this one hot chick at the party, I went to go cool out with my tool out with her.

2b. Since I am so bored and horny today, I'm going to go to the local brothel and cool out with my tool out.

by Mark H July 22, 2004

blowrider

A blowjob administered to a man who's driving the vehicle in which his lover is riding in.

When Bill was going on a road trip away from D.C. one day, he was getting a blowrider from Monica throughout the long journey.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H July 5, 2005

assmosis

When two people engage in anal sex.

(called "assmosis" because the two lovers are absorbing each other's pleasure as they bump their ends)

Derived from the word "osmosis."

Okay cowboy, let's go make love on the couch via assmosis.

by Mark H May 22, 2004

roll the dice

To masturbate. The term is used particularly to refer to male masturbation(jacking off), since the action of pulling on and fondling one's own penis or testicles often looks like actually rolling a pair of dice.

I was rolling my dice at those tig ol bitties on that hot broad who was giving me a private lap dance.

by Mark H September 6, 2004

Texas-sized

Adjective used to describe an object, person, place, or idea, that is uniquely large among his/her/its kind, i.e. with a size exaggeratively being compared to the size of the state of Texas.

"Hey man look over there!" *points to the posterior of a very obese black woman sitting down gorging herself on 25 packages of McDonald's chicken selects. "Check out them Texas-sized buns of hers! That's a huge bitch!"

"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"

"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."

"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."

"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."

"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.

by Mark H February 19, 2005