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Loxi's definitions

sports jockey

Refers to a male with unfulfilled dreams of sports stardom who then pressures his children into playing sports in the hope they achieve the stardom he failed to achieve.

The sports jockey is the male equivalent of the stage mom.
Wife 1: (Sighing) My husband enrolled (insert child's name here) in softball, gymnastics, tennis, and track this year at school.

Wife 2: You poor thing. You married a sports jockey too?
by Loxi July 17, 2009
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evasive maneuver

Action taken by a person who spys another person approaching whom he would like to avoid.

Evasive maneuvers include:

1. Ducking down an aisle or into a cubicle to avoid the person.

2. Turning around mid-stride and walking away from the person before he spys you.

3. Making up an elaborate (yet plausible) excuse to get away from the person, i. e. "I really want to chat, but I am late picking up my kids from daycare. It was good seeing you!"

4. Pretending to be engaged in some important act (i.e. a telephone call) so the person is forced to leave your presence.
Upon seeing the office gossip approach, the clerk begins the evasive maneuver of grabbing a stack of folders and heading toward the file room.
by Loxi July 17, 2009
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catholicked

Definition 1: A student who received corporal punishment at parochial school via a monster-sized paddle that was kept in the principals office.

Definition 2: Oral technique that parochial school cheerleaders used on every boy they came in contact with.
I know of many people who were Catholicked during my 12 years in parochial school.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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catapulpit

Refers to a member of the Catholic faith who breaks one or more of the ten commandments in record time (either before or after leaving the Catholic Church).

Examples include:

1. Madonna, entertainer

2. Alberto Cutie, aka "Father Oprah", former priest

3. Kenneth Bianchi, aka "The Hillside Strangler", convicted murderer
Guy 1: Man, did you see on television that Father Oprah scored him a babe?

Guy 2: Yeah! You got to admire him for catapulpitting himself toward such a hot piece of ass!
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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sibling

A child born of your mother's womb who is used as a unit of comparison in the family.
Mom: (Chiding) "Your brother sent me flowers for my birthday. Why can't you be more like him?"

Steve: "Ah, Mom! Can I help it if my sibling has more money to waste than me?"
by Loxi July 22, 2009
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Lawtyr

Short for "lawn martyr". The lawtyr insists on doing the yard maintenance himself (mowing, landscaping, etc.) all the while complaining to everyone within earshot about having to do it -- and acting rather put upon.

The lawtyr is the natural foe of the housewife.
Neighbor: What's the hubby up to today?

Wife: Ah, nothing much. He's just lawtyring around the house today.
by Loxi July 16, 2009
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marriage

A matrimonial state as defined by:

1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."

2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
See marriage definition above.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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