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Loxi's definitions

starving kids in Africa

Phrase used by Catholic priests or nuns to guilt parochial students into eating vegetables that are good for them or donating money to yet another Catholic charity.
Example 1:

Sr. Mary: Eat your brussels sprouts, Susie.

Susie: But, I don't like them, sister. They're yucky!

Sr. Mary: I can't believe you are wasting food. Why, there are starving kids in Africa who would give anything to have those brussel sprouts. So, you eat them, you hear? They're part of God's bountiful harvest.

Susie: (Looking guilty) Yes, sister.

Example 2:

Sr. Mary: (To class) As part of our Lenten service project, I am asking that each of you donate your lunch money today to the Feed the Children organization. In return, you will receive one cracker and a bowl of watered-down chicken broth for lunch - just like the starving kids in Africa eat every day.

Susie: (Looking longingly at her lunch money) Yes, sister.
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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Police Scanner Perv

A citizen who listens intently to a police scanner all day and night so that he will know of all of the fires, murders, robberies, assaults, etc. that occur in his town. The PSP then gleefully informs his friends the next day of the gory details.

The PSP differs from the local policeman, fireman, or EMT with a scanner in that he has a pervy interest in listening to the scanner, not a professional interest.
Dispatcher on Scanner: We have a 10-59 on 25th and Maple; a house is burning, a trauma team and a fire control team are en route.

Police Scanner Perv: Ssh, honey. I am trying to hear the scanner. I think your mother's house may be on fire!
by Loxi July 18, 2009
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marriage

A matrimonial state as defined by:

1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."

2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
See marriage definition above.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
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Lawtyr

Short for "lawn martyr". The lawtyr insists on doing the yard maintenance himself (mowing, landscaping, etc.) all the while complaining to everyone within earshot about having to do it -- and acting rather put upon.

The lawtyr is the natural foe of the housewife.
Neighbor: What's the hubby up to today?

Wife: Ah, nothing much. He's just lawtyring around the house today.
by Loxi July 16, 2009
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Yankton

A small town in southeast South Dakota whose claim to fame includes the following:

1. Home to Tom Brokaw, former anchor of the NBC Nightly News.

2. Football player Lyle Alzado attended Yankton College there.

3. Convicted murder of Wild Bill Hickok, Jack McCall, is buried there.
Employee: You live in Yankton?

Co-worker: (Smiling) Yep!
by Loxi July 17, 2009
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salary

Money paid to an employee for regular work performed that is supposed to reflect the true value of the employee to the company, but more often resembles a bad joke.
My salary is laughable.
by Loxi July 21, 2009
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sibling

A child born of your mother's womb who is used as a unit of comparison in the family.
Mom: (Chiding) "Your brother sent me flowers for my birthday. Why can't you be more like him?"

Steve: "Ah, Mom! Can I help it if my sibling has more money to waste than me?"
by Loxi July 22, 2009
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